Some men just don't want to hire a housekeeper. They want a housekeeper who sleeps with them for free.

Please feel free to pick and choose from the following (and in my case I would be asking all of these before even considering going on a date with a view to a long term relationship):

1. How important is it to you to contribute to the running of a household? Details, please.
2. It is inevitable that both verbal and non-verbal communications break down from time to time. How do you manage such situations?
3. What in your life fascinates you?
4. Describe your ideal sex life.
5. Did you vote for Trump?

A wrong response to any of those is a deal breaker for me.

Early in my aunt's marriage she applied for a store credit card. She had her own money and career. She was asked to have her husband cosign! I am not a slave, nor should women have to be dependent on men. This is why I am a rabid feminist and believe that women should have equal pay and not have to live in the 50s.

The meta view of this guy is his unwillingness to evolve. We can all get stuck in our ways when living alone, but we must adapt to be equal partners. He wants, he wants, he wants. OK Dude, but what are you willing to change to accommodate a partner?
FWIW, I had a neighbor whose husband only ate hot dogs for lunch and dinner. He was diagnosed with diabetes at 56.

Yes, finding a man who don't want a slave is like finding a needle in a haystack. You truly are persistent in finding someone. I just could not be bothered. Life is good as it is.

as I frequently say....NEXT!!!!!

It sounds like he needs to hire a cook, maid, and a gardener to meet his needs.

Ha, ha, ha, I guess.
I always wondered about that no housework bias including cooking. One advantage of growing up in a household with 4 brothers and no sisters was that we all learned basic home ec.

We all learned to cook and to shop and even (very simple) sewing, knitting, crocheting etc. -- and how life works like how to wrap a package and so forth.
I won't say any of us could make a living teaching lessons but we get by. One of my mother's favorite stories was that she couldn't boil water when she got married and she vowed that would never happen to her kids.

How do these guys live? Do they eat out 14 meals(at least)(lunch & dinner) a week?

I had one career bachelor uncle in the midwest who in his house they found hundreds of sets of socks and shorts after he died. It turned out he would only send shirts and trousers to the cleaners and he seldom did laundry so he would buy new instead -- at least he would generally wear clean.

What a strange, pathetic, way to live. I'm glad you're aware of the issue and know nough to not get suckered into any form of that situation.

"He doesn't hike." Obviously a dealbreaker for you. I suspect he will find that a great many other women do not want to be domestic slaves either.

It is really hard to believe you found that hard core of a dinosaur.

Even my dad who was born in 1917 and had some of those ideas when I was a child but even he grew.

What mother raised that boy in a man suit and how did two previous wives fail so badly?

I'm just flabbergasted at how backward he is.

I might have to see if he's good in bed because there HAS to be some redeeming quality.

I grew up with great women in my life. Mother, grandmothers, and aunts. I didn’t know it at the time, but they were teaching me to be a good man.
I did simple cooking starting with a grill cheese sandwich and progressing to things I cook today. I needed a button sewed on a shirt, I was taught how. A wrinkled shirt, I was taught how to use an ironing board and iron. Without saying it directly to me I heard them say how to treat a women.
When I was married I helped with cooking.
As a man I am embarrassed to admit I never mastered the charcoal grill though.
I thank them everyday.
My son was raised with the same help from mother, grandmother, aunt, and older sister.
……I like to think I helped some.

Cooking is easy if you have a microwave.

I cannot believe any woman would even look at a man who cannot understand what housework is and how to do it. Kate, my significant other is a strong woman, she never thought about mentioning that it was time something needed to be done. Being the man and figuring that any wish was a request I did what was wanted. She worked as I did and we did the house work together. It took about an hour. Kate is now sick, has trouble just moving and getting motivated to do anything is an effort not worth the effort. I do everything, yes the house is a mess, we do have six cats that do not shed. We still have a routing, if the wash needs to be done, she tells me the settings on the machines and I do all the work. For dinner I ask what she has a taste for and I get it started and she finishes the cooking. That way she does not have to lift anything. We still try to do things together, and for the most it works. I cannot imagine what it would be like without the help, even though it is not much it is what she can do.

This is of course none of my business, but you post it presumably for people to comment on... so...

Couldn’t you have discovered that much about him before going on a date?

Seems like a brief email exchange could uncover that much. Why do you date these guys? And date these guys? And date these guys?

What are you getting out of it, such that you would go to the trouble of meeting in person instead of doing five minutes of screening?

Not being critical; just curious.

Since I've been married 40 years I really don't relate to the dating scene, however I am sure that nothing is real until you meet, and even after.

Good luck.

Good riddance

Wow! That is interesting. Some men are stuck at the My Three Sons or Ozzie and Harriet stage. I appreciate your take on it

I cook all the time. Yesterday I made a big pot of spaghetti sauce and meatballs. I used the last two jars of tomato sauce that I canned last summer and made fresh green beans from the garden. One of my favorite things to make is vegetable soup.. oh I also like to make salsa with the tomatoes, chili peppers and cilantro that I grow in the garden..

Well, you know the old saying, want in one hand and shit in the other and see which one gets fullest quickest.

I understand you here, and if he is divorced only 6 months ago something is wrong. It sounds like he wants a slave. I'm not living in 1950 but I damned sure am not living in gadget ridden 2021. My ex was surprised to find out that I could cook and I should have cooked with her more often. Truth is, I get by food wise as easily as I can. Food ASAP works for me. As for housekeeping, I try to know where everything goes. That does not mean it is always in it's place but I know where it is. I love women but today I live a very reclusive life. It is now time for me.

Your story and 50's reference reminds me of this great movie.

One of my favorites.

As for cooking, although I live alone (for decades) can't say I cook much as opening canned, frozen and boxed food is not really cooking. The dishes you share look wonderful. Long ago I spent nearly a decade living with an RN who advanced into an a PA and we cooked together a few times each week. I enjoyed the process of cooking together as much or more then eating the dish. I can't imagine expecting a partner to serve me unless I served her (home prepared food) at an equal or greater frequency. Someone who doesn't like to hike? If I lived in your part of the country and could hike with you, hiking would be a rewarding part of a (mentally and physically) healthy life.

Hope you find exceptionally high quality equal to your own.

Yikes.....

Hmmm.....my almost all veggie, made fresh stir fry was Excellent tonight !

OTOH, when on dating sites in my area, I got the drift that any man that was NOT helpless, was unwanted. Nothing chased the women away faster than telling them I can take care of myself, and I don't need nor want a mommy.

With all those red flags, why did you even go out with him? It's not like you have a shortage quality men.