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Better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. Agree or disagree?

Aralt 7 Apr 18
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60 comments

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2

I can't imagine anything worse than never having loved at all.

I will also add, every relationship in history was not permanent but temporary. So, pick up the pieces and get out there again!

10

Even though I was hurt several times before I met and married my son's father, I would relive all the pain of those past relationships knowing the joy that I experienced during the 19 years we were together, despite any good, bad, ugly, better and worse that occurred as it does during any normal relationship. Even the fact that he died suddenly does not change my feeling that I am more glad that I experienced life together than if we had never met.

9

totally agree,
I fell in love at 40, 1st time in my life, I guess it will be the only time. Was just amazing, and totally devastating when it died after only 3 months. Glad it happened. Wish it could have lasted.

9

Agree. Even the bad relationships teach you so much. The good ones make it worthwhile to keep looking.

9

Better to have loved and lost. Simply because you will always remember the good times and will have learned from the bad times. Win/Win

9

Disagree. There's little more painful than a breakup of a marriage or long-term relationship.

Maybe think of it a different way - not of a breakup, but the adage mentions loss - so what if you had a puppy or other pet that you cared about? I believe people can love their pets, so what if you lost that pet, would you rather have never had the joy it brought you than experience the pain of loss?

@ThinkKate an intersting analogy. But you know the lifespan of a pet when you get it, and accept that you are trading the enjoyment of x number of years and that you will pay the price of predictable loss for that joy. With relationships, i for one think "forever"...so the loss is far more devastating!

@AnneWimsey good point - I was just trying to point out the difference between "loss" as in break-up and loss as in death. thank you though.

9

I have to agree. No matter how many times I've been burned and lost, it would be a tragedy to have never tasted the nectar of sweet love's embrace.

very poetic!

8

I was going to be cynical, but, it's love, and to love and be loved is the greatest gift. Loss of love still gives you pain when you think of the memories of loving and being loved, and that pain is a gift because it gives you purpose, because you wish to love and be loved again. To never have loved gives you a void that doesn't get filled with anything good.

Gohan Level 7 Apr 18, 2018

You made me wonder if ever was there a person...who never experienced the kind of love, that lovers do experience. That would be tragic!

@Freedompath Indeed.

8

Always. With almost anything. Better to experience than to not experience.

Would you like to experience being beaten nearly to death? I would think not.

@nvrnuff hence the 'almost'...hehe...but I used to train to fight...so getting beaten nearly to death was what close to what I was training for...not to mention being in the marine corps...I believed being beaten in training was better than getting killed by the enemy...so...I can say that I have good anecdotes about getting beaten almost to death...does being choked out count? The first time I was choked out I was completely impressed...it was by somebody half my size...and I learned how to do the same from the experience...

@JohnnyThorazine fighting as you did, is believe me, Nothing like being beaten by someone in a drunken rage who Wants To Hurt You and at the moment wishes you were dead, is in fact telling you that with every blow. Not to mention choked into unconsciousness by the same sweetie, your husband and father of your child, back in the good old days when the cops did nothing, no shelters, no hotlines, nothing. Pain and fear together is an ugly thing that changes you forever!

@AnneWimsey and, again, it is in the 'almost'...I have had awful experiences. And they have made me who I am. So I am glad for them. For starters, it was a paranoid schizophrenic mother who snapped when I was 12, but society and family didn't care...left me to deal with it. And I am glad for them (for who would I be without it, but a completely different person?). There is very little that frightens me in life. We can let the things that attack us in life destroy us or strengthen us. Everything changes us. And sometimes we need help through these things. I am fortunate that I survived without help. But each person's story belongs to them.

7

I don't know, I could sure use the money and property back.

Right..lol

7

Definitely agree

7

Agreed. Love is like those paths that you should always try to explore, but the paths are full of dangers. But you never learn unless you fall.

7

I'll stick my neck out, again.

7

Better lost than forever wonder what could have been.....

7

Agree. Not much to elaborate on here. Ive been in love a few times and now I am happily single for the time being.

Sure, the thought of finding someone to share that experience with again in the future is nice, but I am totally comfortable with not being in love at the moment and am in no rush to get there again. If it happens, great. If not, I'll be just fine. I know what it's like and it's not one of my main priorities.

I completely concur on your second paragraph.

7

Agreed. Love often. Pain be damned!

7

Disagree, I think. ?

Same, here. Not worth the pain. If it's not going to work out, I'd rather not having met in the first place.

6

Never pass up a memory. You control your life. Take a chance and enjoy it all. The army had a great saying. Be all you can be. I never forgot that. If you like a person...then tell them. There are a million people out there that are waiting for your hello. Then you can go from there. Just do it.

6

Without a doubt.

6

At first I thought that "hey at least you tried and made the effort' even though you lost".. now I don't see it so black and white.. maybe sometimes the hurt cuts too deep and it really is better to not have loved at all.. I guess life isn't that simple.. (that's why it took 4+ billion years to get to where we are).. it is our brief existence on this rock and I choose to love it even though it is fleeting..

6

Best to love and not lose

6

Totally... if you haven't experienced it at least once, how will you ever know and when you have, and it's gone, you can at least say, you gave it your best shot even though it didn't work.

6

I have been in and out of love since i was 6 or 7. How can you avoid it? So , from my own experience I cannot accept the premise not to have ever loved.

6

I think we are better off experiencing love, even when things don’t work out. I can grow from that experience and I always appreciate the love.

Shar Level 3 Apr 18, 2018
5

yes that is so very true!!!
a few years ago i was in a relationship with a woman that was married but seperated from her husband.
in the end she could not chhose if she wanted to be with me or her husband.
but the short time that we were togeher it was amazing and even through we are only friends right now .
she will always have a place in my heart of hearts.

5

Agree. Completely.

I believe most humans are social beings who need and want deep connections, love, companionship and sex.

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