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Sexy pics or not?

Do you think if you post a sexy picture of yourself that you're inviting the kind of people you don't want to date?

SonderOpia 8 Apr 18

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I think you should post photos that make you happy and that make you feel good about yourself (note: not specifically you, just a general all people--you). People with bad character may contact you regardless of how "sexy" or "plain" your photos are.
Being sexy isn't an invitation for people to disrespect you. You should feel free to be yourself. The people that matter and that have good character will treat you with respect regardless of how "sexy" your photos are.

Mea Level 7 Apr 19, 2018

When looking at dating profile pics I do read the profile after I take a look. I have seen some beautiful women but declined to connect with them based on something that I read about them. I understand that most men don't but I am not like most men.

I do pretty much the same.

@LetzGetReal While I do like to look at profiles, I have all but given up on any future relationship with anyone. Too much lying, too much posturing, too much ego and not enough humility. I'm pretty much done.

@LetzGetReal Did you mean "prerogative"? Just because I am no longer trying to find 'love or romance' doesn't mean that I have given up sensual activities. I just don't need the lies, hassles or heartache that go hand in hand with any romantic relationship.


Sexuality is a big part of an adult relationship. To base a relationship off just that aspect is immature, but to ignore it's importance is ignorant too. You have to embrace your sexuality as an individual and later as a couple to truly thrive. Putting a little bit of that on display here on a dating site seems super reasonable


I have learned what you say and pics you post do make a difference. Surprisingly I have been messaged here by those with alternative life styles even though I am seeking a monogamous relationship.


Hell no I do not wanna see pictures of saggy hairy ballsacks !!!

You and me both.


Sexy means different things to different people.
For me, it's all about the look in somone's eye, not how much skin they show.

Having said that, a photo is a visual statement, and most hetero men are conditioned into accepting that to be attracted to a woman's appearance is enough to warrant their interest.

Let me put it this way:
If you post a profile photo of yourself scantily clad, or costumed for the evident purpose of titillation, (especially in a suggestive pose), you're openly advertising not just your physique, but your seductiveness and acquiescence to that hetero-normative conditioning. The message it sends is "Come and get me, boys!" It would appeal most to men of prurient interests and little self-control (rather than those who might be willing to delay gratification until a genuine bond has a chance to develop), and you may anticipate being beset by their virtual advances without expectation of anything more than a hookup.
Mixing a candid bikini shot in with a few other photos of yourself fully dressed would send a very different message: that you're not a prude, that you're confident about your looks, and that you're not timid about showing your body. You may still be messaged by thrill-seekers, but not as many.

Nicely worded. Two thumbs up.


Confidence is sexy.

"Sexy" doesn't necessarily mean confident.

A profile that has only or mostly "sexy" pictures can be a red flag to me. It can often mean that the person has insecurity issues and is trying to sell themselves in that visual way. Of course, that isn't always the case, but my experience has been that more often than not, it is true. It can attract more objectifying attention.

A profile that has pictures showing a smiling, confident person who seems to be having fun while leaving more to the imagination works better for me and doesn't send the red flags of insecurity up in the air.

Others may differ in what they are looking for.


You mean posting pictures that show you're self confident? Nah. If you do that and it draws the wrong people, you also have the strength of character to tell them to fuck off.

Duke Level 8 Apr 19, 2018

It depends on a few factors. First off, which website. If we're talking about this one, it's kinda hard to tell since we're fairly new. Also keep in mind that any dating site that is primarily free will invite all sorts of characters.

Then again, what do you consider too sexy versus what most guys think is too sexy. There's only so much you can do with how someone else interprets a sexy image.

If you still have any doubt, feel free to send me a couple of them in a private message and I'll give you my objective opinion. 😉

LOL. My pictures are not half naked ones.


I don't think a sexy post of me is possible even with modern technology and special effects. But if I could and it attarcted somone, preferably female, then fine by me lol


I never seem to figure it out. I mean I want to look good and attract somebody but that’s not all there is to me by far. Why is it such a horrible thing for a woman to say “I love sex!” I’m very forward and open with my sexuality but it never gets me in the right situation. I automatically attract men who just want to have sex. And that’s not all I want I want to have a relationship with a lot of sex in it. This is a very tricky topic. I love Batman and Chewbacca too. I love singing, I love creating art, I love life. Why can’t it all be equal? Why must one thing stand out over the other?

I totally agree with you. I'm very sexual and I want a relationship that is very sexual but I want a relationship not based on sex. And I have always been a tomboy so I enjoy things that some people consider masculine but that doesn't make me a boy and it doesn't make me strange. I am who I am and if people don't like me then kiss my ass. LOL thanks for the comment.

@SonderOpia we need to find the right men. I think they could be here! I hope! Thanks for the response!


My picture speak for itself....oh wait ?


I have a Facebook friend that posts about as revealing and provocative pictures as allowed, then complains of all inapproriate IM's she gets, and that she seems to only be approached by sleazy men. I think that says it all, what kind of attention do you want.

@DuchessNyx Your attitude could put you at risk, however, I agree with you in principle. I had a friend that had the same attitude, she was raped three times. We often had the discussion about risk, and she always had the same answer you have. Would that we were in a perfect world. I wish we lived in a world without predators, we don't, so every one needs to be prudent. My friend was in the Oregon State Masters program in Women's Studies, and your comment sounds like you were in her class. Idealistic, something we hope is the standard, but isn't, we have tRump as proof.

@Lincster45 I believe men should be taught not to rape instead of teaching women not to be the victims of rape. It's pretty fucked up that women have to cover up because men can't seem to control themselves. When we stop blaming the victim and start passing better laws then maybe that will stop. That kind of shit doesn't happen in other countries and it doesn't happen in most nudist colonies.

@SonderOpia I absolutely agree, but in the world we live in today that's not the case. I'm on your side, I am not blaming the victim, I am stating a sad fact in today's society.

We need to work to fix it, and until it is fixed it is better not to put yourself at risk. And, you can't make the blanket statement it doesn't happen in other countries, that's absurd and incorrect. Let me state a case in extreme, South Africa,

In countries where sex is considered healthy and not taboo, and children are properly educated it is far less of a problem, but the Christians prevent proper sex education it the U.S. Here in Australia, legalized prostitution also gives potential predators an outlet.

I'm sorry there is just so much wrong in the U.S., and so much of it goes back to thr Conservative bible thumpers.

@DuchessNyx Let me put it this way, I know places I could go that would put me at risk of bodily harm, so I am not going to go there. Society is what it is today, we all work for change, in the meantime we exercise due diligence. I know I'm not going to win this argument, and I know people of both sexes will still engage in risky behavior.


Might not be meaning to invite that sort of attention but it's safe to say you will.

More like it's sad to say I will. I've gotten rude comments and sexual comments without any sexy pictures.

@SonderOpia sorry my dear


Whatever you feel comfortable with!


You be you. it's a dating site so I think a little sexy is fine. I'm not into it personally. I would rather post something interesting or funny. It's not always a good idea to lead with sex, unless that's what you want.


Hard to say without seeing the pic??
Just teasing.
My answer is yes.
You are inviting everyone basically so taht would include those you don't want.
I think sexy pics are best left until you have at least been communicating with someone, and preferable have met them.


Shit, l thought l did! I guess it's time for the Speedo.



Perhaps...that one is a toss up.


Personally, I steer away from profiles where the pics seem to be nothing but, and I use the term very loosely, "alluring" pics. I think a pic can be sexy without being provocative. A genuine smile, or a soulful stare can be just as, if not more sexy than someone showing needless flesh.....


I wouldn't do it, but I have considered a private NSFW account on Twitter, for mutuals only.


I thnk the question answers itself, yes? Oy vey


I would LOVE to post sexy pictures of myself, but, alas, there’s not much for the camera to work with. You have to BE sexy to post sexy... 😉

Who told you you weren't sexy? I'm sure the men love you.

Ah shucks 😉


Yes. I think it is better to find soem sort of attraction outside of sex, unless sex is the only thing you ar elooking for.


What kind of people don't you want to date?

The kind that only want to use me.

I commend you for having excellent judgment @SallyMc

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