Rapture him straight to jail. Do not pass GO. Do not collect $200.

Can I vote yes. It has bothered me that a believer in rapture might be in the position to push the nuclear bomb button. Put an atheist in there as most of us think this is our one life to live.

The Borowitz Report is spectacular- New Yorker too!

I am all for that rapture and the sooner the better
It is the only thing that will save us if t
the orange one is impeached or they do the right thing and go with the 25th

Emergency raptures require a non-refundable one hundred bazillion dollar service fee, Mr. Pence. If this is not financially feasible for you at this time, you may make a regular appointment for our usual one bazillion dollar service fee and one of our rapture specialists will be with you as soon as possible.