“Fully microchipped” for the win!

Vaxed and masked for your protection. Simple, true, not confrontational.

I’m a special kind of sarcastic asshole, so I’m going with the green one!?

Well, fortunately, here there isn't much of the arseholes that you describe. I'm looking forward for the time we can go somewhere without wearing any of these things. That's my focus instead of having a message on the masks I wear. That's my two cents, for the best or for the worst. It won't change anything.

It goes over your nose.
If they were here in Nevada they wouldn't be allowed in a store, we're pretty strict about this shit.
It's like, no shirt, no shoes, no mask, no service. End of story.

I'd go with the "it goes OVER your nose" mask around here. Actually I wouldn't use any of those. I won't wear elastic over my ears, I wear hearing aids and the risk of dislodging and/or losing a hearing aid while taking it off is a risk I am not willing to take. I have made all my masks with ties.

I like them all but, living in Texas, I don't need the stress of wondering whether I'll be attacked (or my tires slashed) for wearing most of them, so I choose "Vaxed and masked for your protection." It's less confrontational and less likely to incite the crazies. Although I look better in black ... hmmmm.

The black one. Though I already made my choice.

They should have one that says, "I just said Fμ(k θff..."

wearing one says it all. i like the cheap light blue paper ones. more comfortable, no pretense, cheap.

I actually have the black one

One of many new industries spawned by the pandemic, love it. I like the microchip one......

I like it goes over your nose.

The black one.

Although there are a few that express the way I feel, I'm also all for a peaceful life. Confrontation is tiring so I go for the cheap standard surgical mask that I can easily replace after I've sneezed into it.

Like them all. Then I could wear a different everyday I go out.

I like them all.
Would wear any one of them.
Depending upon my mood of the day, of course.
Most days I'm civil.
Other days, not so much.

The red one.

ALL of them.

How about one that says "Because I don't want to murder my own countrymen by way of disease"?

I would buy and wear 4 of them. I don't like the green one or the red one. The rest are excellent for specific places I frequent.