"Clearly he didn't want to do it," a psychologist friend said last night.

Honestly, if you can't figure this one out, you're as clueless as he is.

I would not expect a guest, first date or not, to do chores; let alone be efficient in an unfamiliar kitchen. That said, I would want someone I was considering coupling with to have culinary competence.
There is real joy in sharing great cooking with each other.

Learned helplessness. If he does it badly someone else will take over. My ex had been a good, or at least experimental cook when I met him. He quickly learned to be inefficient in the kitchen. We agreed he would cook dinner on Saturdays. He cooked pizza every week, from scratch, and every week it got worse. Then we had another child, and then we moved, and he never cooked a dinner again. When he lived alone he reheated convenience meals from the grocery store. Now he lives in a retirement center, and from what I understand he eats in the dining room and lets them do the cooking. When we have extended family meals he never contributes, which really pisses me off. He has more money than all of us, and I don't like subsidizing him.

Hmmm…perhaps a simple “Thank you” would have been a better approach…..

Sounds like incompatibility written all over it........

I don't expect a guest to do things in my home. Once they become more than that, it's on. I'm a bit of an efficiency nut myself. I find the shortest way to do most everything without losing quality. I'd say, this person doesn't give a crap and expects you to wait on him. He obviously didn't want to be part of anything approaching teamwork.

So many variables. Maybe he was distracted, maybe he wanted to spend more time in the kitchen admiring your arse If it's a first date he's not thinking efficiency he's thinking about how he's going to get into your panties.

I absolutely don't know. Can be anything.

This idiot wants waited on and he thinks in terms who's work is man or woman. On food I will put it this way. I prefer to make my own plate. That is what pleases me. Does anyone else know what I am going to eat or how much I eat? No. I prefer to make my own plate.

I've always found the chore thing to be a 2 way street and if from jump it's clear he's going one way I'm pedal to the medal gone.

Assuming you are close in age there is no excuse. Maybe, in the future, when meeting a new guy you should have a list of questions and one should be is he housebroken.

It's an elaborate conspiracy perpetrated by the lizard people and the Rothschild family to keep people from realizing their true potential.

They killed Michael Jackson because he was on to them and was THIS CLOSE to blowing the whole thing wide open.

People aren't machines. Maybe he prefers restaurants or being annoying, maybe he just didn't want to go on with the relationship and has no balls.

Well, there are many ways I could think about your description of the man unloading a dishwater. I do not expect visitors to load or unload the dishwasher after dinner, if they volunteer to do so that is a different matter. If I do not like how someone is loading or unloading a dishwasher in my home then I would intervene with minimal fuss and take over the task with a smile. It would not something that would irritate me

He just didn't want to do it.

Just a difference in approach to unfamiliar job