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Need to trust my instincts on this man.

On Fitness Singles a man wants to meet me. His first message was sweet:

"I have to state that you have a killer smile. Sometimes I come back to your profile just for the smile. Brightens my day."

His life is in upheaval. I don't want to be part of it. I told him I'm not interested.

His photos show him with cats on his shoulders and a big-dog. A lifelong hiker, he sent messages listing multiple injuries and surgeries since his 20s. He is in the process of getting a divorce. He's living in a trailer. Recovering from another injury. He has a list of his injuries on his phone "so I don't forget."

None of this is appealing to me. I loathe cats. Cat dander triggers my asthma attacks. I avoid dogs. Terrified, really.

In the past decade, I have been attacked by 8-unleashed vicious dogs while hiking and snowshoeing. In all cases, dogs were required to be on a leash. It took eons for my knee ligament to heal after an attack.

Many newly-divorced men rush into a new relationship. It never ends well.

Your thoughts?

LiterateHiker 9 Apr 15

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We would be perfect together.

Your abject disdain matches my debonair insouciance.

Walking with friends is the perfect foil to my cya later off you go encouragement.

Surround yourself with people that have similar interests.

Hit on talent when the mood takes you.

One of those fuckers might be just right.

Get lucky.


Too bad about your dog & cat issues. Because if you could take in the animals, somebody else could adopt the human

twill Level 7 Apr 16, 2022

Somewhere there's a love just for him.
I don't believe it's you.

Unity Level 7 Apr 16, 2022

Your instincts are right on as usual.


Run in the opposite direction of this guy. 🤗


Um, I think you already know what to do here. Better luck next time, yeah?


I am with you don't go there under any circumstances. Stay single and keep on hiking.


Always follow your gut instinct.


He is more interested in himself than in you. I commend to you each of the comments below.


Good point. Love your use of the word "commend."

Commend (

  1. to present, mention, or praise as worthy of confidence, notice, kindness, etc.

  2. to entrust; give in charge; deliver with confidence.

  3. to cite or name with approval or special praise.


Sounds like he's on the rebound, before he is divorced.




He could be 'the one', but how are his attachments dragging him down/holding him to ransom?
I recently met a lady in need of a smart brain with the ability to be non-judgemental. I had a not so soft spot for her, but her life baggage is something I cannot cope with at this time. If we'd met some time ago then fine I could help providing I knew then what I know now.
So, to cut to the chase, you may find that you could become attached then discover than you end up fighting what feels like Vietnam but with emotions instead of bombs and bullets.
He has a point on your smile though, a very good point.


Thanks for your compliment. Smiles, Kathleen


Years past, I had met several similarly desperate-to-not-be-alone men, and actually took up with one charmer who conveniently forgot to mention his last, not yet divorced, marriage. Ugh. Our generation raised men to be cared for by women in order to succeed. They tend to be terrified of the prospect of fending for themselves, my ex included.
Nah, you have FAR better things to do with your life than being his next hand-maiden!!


Ohhh, he sounds so loveable. Wouldn't you just love to rescue him from that trailer and take him and his pets home and then provide for him and care and nurse him for the rest of his life? 🤣🤣🤣 What instinct other than self preservation do you need here?


Hilarious and perfect. Thanks for the belly laugh!

Self-preservation, indeed.

You forgot to mention bathe him, dress him, cook his meals and change his incontinence pads.


What an offer. (sound of slamming door).

@LiterateHiker It seems to me that you have a clear notion of the man that you would like to be part of your life. Any doubts are only momentarily entertained and quickly discarded when you compare a prospective partner with what you do not like in a man.

Kahil Gibran said: “Every man loves two women; the one is the creation of his imagination and the other is not yet born” The same could be said of women. 🙂


Sounds like you’ve already decided he’s not suitable for a partner with the animals and injuries issues. But there must be something appealing about him or you wouldn’t be asking for thoughts. If he’s close; a cup of coffee or dinner wouldn’t hurt to solidify your concerns or maybe spark you interest. Happy thoughts.


He wanted to meet me for coffee today. I said no.


Trust your instincts

bobwjr Level 10 Apr 15, 2022

@bobwjr, @KKGator, @freedom41, @ASTRALMAX

He must be reckless to have so many injuries.

I bet his wife dumped him after getting tired of listening to him complain about his pain.

I had shoulder surgery, too. You won't hear me talk about it.

@LiterateHiker No tellin'. Does it even matter?
He's just one big limping red flag.


"He's just one big limping red flag" is hilarious and apt.

Thanks for the laugh.

@LiterateHiker Anytime.
I'm here all week!
Please remember to tip your servers!


Run away!


That's enough red flags to tell him to look else where.


I think that you have listed enough reasons to forget him.

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