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In your experience, do opposites attract?

Do opposites really attract?
Or, are we attracted to likeness?

What's your personal preference, more alike or more different?

silvereyes 8 Dec 5
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30 comments

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12

I think opposites get our attention, attracting us in a knee-jerk way, but offer no basis for a relationship in the long term.

same

9

Seems to be that they attract, but do not endure.

7

Attracting and meshing are two different things. If opposite get involved and don't mesh well, it is a disaster. If they learn to complement each other and feel comfortable in doing so, it can work well.

7

No. I think we love ourselves so much we look for someone similar. 😀 Seriously, though, you don't find a lot of couples who are so opposite each other. It's probably because we know relationships are difficult enough without adding that to the pot. I know I would never want to be in a relationship with a guy the exact opposite of me, because the exact opposite of me is a clingy, snively, sports loving, misogynist. lol.

5

They can, sure. I have a close friend who loves metal music, video games, off-color humor, and puns. His girlfriend seems to enjoy some of the movies they attend, but she doesn't seem to have any strong interests. I once asked him what he and his girlfriend have in common, and after thinking for a few seconds, he replies with "I don't know." He didn't say it with any grave tone of voice, just a matter-of-fact "I dunno" or whatever.

In my experience, though, the stronger relationships are the birds of a feather. My brother loves anything from the '80s and goofy humor and his wife loves that and can dish back to him his shit (like snide jokes and such). My other brother is as status quo as can be, going to a party school (UW Madison) and graduating in exactly four years in business, marrying his high school girlfriend who was a school teacher before settling down as a stay-at-home mom, and whose casual wardrobe is basically polo shirts and Dockers pants. Two other friends are covered in tattoos and work jobs selling alcohol (one is the regional rep for Virtue Cider) or DJing in bars, loving rock and roll, and so on. And these couples' bonds are rock solid. I can't fathom any of them splitting from their SOs.

5

I think for me it's a little of both.
I want someone I can argue with now and then. lol

@silvereyes You're on!

5

My personal experience has changed my preference to MoreAlike. Being Different didn't work so I'm trying something else now.

5

Definitely, protons and electrons! Speaking as a chemist.

Re: people, I'm more attracted to similarities I think.

4

If they’re magnets, yes. If there opposite numbers, no. When they get together they can’t get anything done.

4

Some of both; the basic philosophy has to be close enough, ie. liberal or conservative, religious or non, etc.

4

I am attracted to people with my strongest strengths and strengths to counteract my biggest weaknesses. That is not a preference, but an observation that I think holds true for most people, even if it's subconscious.

Personally, one of my biggest weaknesses is finding joy in the moment. I am attracted to women who smile and have a strong will and always know what they want to do. I am also terrible with organization and time management and am drawn to people with those skills and habits. Among my strengths are loyalty, logical thinking, a decent vocabulary and a desire to learn things, so I look for that too.

Sadly this puts me in a position where I seek almost codependent relationships, which makes me a ready victim. My friends are therefor the big filter. A few months in, they will be vetted by my friends and my friends will be given clear instructions afterwards, "Tell me the truth. Tell me you hate her and why. Tell me everything now so you can say you told me so, because once I commit, it won't matter."

I am 37 and have known Nick for 37 years and Pete for 25. Their wives have tried setting me up with people in the past and they are all people I like. I even hangout with Nick's ex-fiance from time to time because they were together for 6 years and I got to know her well. Pete's first girlfriend is still one of my great friends These are all great people who will look out for me. I don't throw out the label "friend" lightly or often, so I trust my friends. I don't know if it'll work for others.

4

I think a lot of similarities and some opposites to complement each other.

4

They might attract but that does not mean they will get along

4

I'm shy, and all my life I always dated outgoing women, so I guess I would say yes.

4

In my experience it takes some of both. My lady of 27 years is like me in that she is honest, hard working, financially responsible, loves movies and C&W music. But we differ in that she doesn't like to drive, is a theist and not at all intellectual. We fit well together because she has strengths where I have weaknesses and weaknesses where I have strengths. So we compliment each other in that way but still have enough in common to have plenty to share.

3

I am terrible at human interaction. So my opposite would be an outgoing extrovert. There is no way that would work.

I am drawn towards quiet girls with a mean streak, so I guess more alike than opposite.

@silvereyes but that's the fun part.

3

a bit of both i think

3

Nah. What differences my wife and I had, have mellowed over the years. We've both grown more like each other I believe. My first wife and I grew in opposite directions till it broke. It wasn't her and I hope it wasn't me, but it didn't work anymore. I do believe in commitment.

gearl Level 8 Dec 5, 2017
3

My personal preferences, some alike (core values, emotional stability) and some different (personality, interests).

3

Only for about 6 months.

3

I think at first opposites are very attractive. Over time, they are very annoying. Most likely the reason I have never been married.

3

The people who we attract that are different tend to reflect things about us that we are lacking in that we might need to cultivate within ourselves.
The people that we attract that are like us, tend to be able to read us and connect with how we feel and react.
If I'm interacting frequently and long-term, I prefer people who are like me and can be on the same or a similar level.

Donna Level 6 Dec 5, 2017
3

I married a megalomanic midget.
Too opposite for me. The silver lining is the love of my life daughter.

3

Not to often

3

Opposites definitely attract in my life. Like 'they' say, "Been there done that." Attract and eventually lose mass enough to escape orbit. Likeness might work. Bucket List.

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