Pronounce saitan os your lord and savior right in front of them.????

Play something loud on your phone, "Dude looks like a lady" by Aerosmith usually causes great confusion and angst amongst the faithful.

Depends on your surroundings, and whether you are in a position to successfully defend yourself. Some of these nutters have violent tendencies.

Say come on in for whiskey and cigarettes. Not mine a comedian said it first. I listen politely and maybe I will learn something. I remember the first time I had to break it to someone, that didnt like Jewish people, that Jesus was Jewish.

In 93, before the flood, Jehovah's Witnesses knocked on my door in Blackwell. A friend of mine was visiting at the time and she answered the door and they began to preach. She said, uhm,
we're Satan worshipers here. I didn't get a chance to see the look on their faces.

I found Jesus: He was passed out under the coffee table.

Oh, I'd LOVE to hear about Jesus - whats he up to now ....

I just ask them "Why would I want to go to heaven when none of my family or friends will be there, I hate harp music, and I get altitude sickness? No thanks! I'll shove a preacher out of the way, and sit next to the fire"

Recently a man on Facebook friends requested me. I accept everyone but I told him I noticed he was very religious. I said I'm fine with all kinds of people, but I don't deal well with intolerance or people who push their beliefs on others. He agreed, I accepted. Then he sent me all kinds of stuff about how great Allah is and I need 2 believe, then he started bringing my kids in2 it. Normally I'd just block him but I was feeling feisty, so I got a few friends 2gether and we bombarded his page with random alternative beliefs. My favorite was the octopus chasing the diver on2 a boat. Saying "sir may I have a moment of your time 2 talk 2 you about our lord and savior Khathula?"

Closing the door in their face has always worked for me.

I'm not interested in hearing about your invisible friend.

i was approached regularly by mormons at the kinko's in nagoya, japan, while i waited for my copies. finally, when two of them (it's always two!) came up to me and asked, with big fake smiles whether i had heard the story of joseph smith, i answered, brightly, "yes! i have! have you heard the one about the rabbi...?" and proceeded to tell them a very long chassidic story. their big smiles virtually cracked. they never bothered me again.

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I find the best way is to be polite, but not engage. Let them feel heard, let them say their piece. Then look away, tell them to have a great day. If you engage, you become a mission.

Fake a seizure? They might think you're possessed and run away screaming. Good for a laugh!

I have a wolf head tattooed on my neck and three huge wolfdogs (reason for the tattoo) so I just point at it tell them that my gods have been here thousands of years before theirs and if they wish to meet their reincarnation (if my dogs are near) they usually run