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34 comments

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1

Definitely. People show empathy (exaggerated) to serial killers, mass murderers, Hitler, etc.

11

I work with addicts. We are warned about compassion fatigue, it's an actual thing. ?

@Stacey48 sometimes when I am with very depressed people I feel the energy drain from me and physical pain. I really have to gear up and suffer when caught by surprise

Vets get compassion fatigue too. Vets have the highest rate of suicide in Australia.

6

No. But letting it affect you adversely is.

5

I think so, it's good to be able to understand another person, but it's important to be able to recognise your separateness too. If you become too overwrought in being immersed in another's pain it can stop you being useful in the situation e.g. you may not be able to administer first aid or offer appropriate assistance under the circumstances. I think identifying is useful, but to be insightful you need to see the bigger picture.

4

Forty three previous comments and it is hard to contribute more. Without a degree of detachment we'd all be as poor as the saints and vegetarians. Still, I think it better to over indulge than be lacking in empathy.

4

Certainly. It's a little overwhelming and kind of unpleasant most of the time. Imagine every time you watch the news you experience emotionally every instance of individual pain, anguish, and suffering that occurs. Large-scale stuff is easier to handle in the moment because it's almost like white noise once it's filtered into soundbites and statistics and one-sided journalism but comes on like waves of existential hopelessness over the next few weeks, but the individual people, the single cases of horrible things happening, it reaches sensory overload really quick, and shows like Game of Thrones and American Horror Story are completely unwatchable because they'll make you feel physically and emotionally wrecked for days. Schadenfreude entertainment as a whole becomes unwatchable: watching some guy get kicked in the crotch isn't so funny when it makes you nauseous.

4

Denying who you are and what you need could be called too much empathy. Not the healthiest way to be...

@Stacey48 Empathy: the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. If you focus on the feelings of another to the exclusion of your own that would be a good definition of too much empathy. Of course empathy does not mean you have to focus on the feelings of another to the exclusion of your own.

4

I don't think it is, in an ideal world. But the world is not ideal. It's cruel and brutal, and so in that context I would agree that someone could pay a price for being empathetic.

The world is too callous and cruel.

@Stacey48

Well. It does cause burnout for some, and empathy is feeling someone's else's pain.

We feel other people's pain (we hurt) but at the same time other people feel our pain (they hurt). So it's give and take. It's why the human race has survived.

As an aside, I would add that those without empathy are parasites. Whether they can help it or not. They benefit from other people's empathy but they don't give back.

It gets complicated too because there are two main types of empathy, cognitive and emotional. Some psychopaths have cognitive, but not emotional, which allows them to tailor their cruelty and manipulation more effectively.

Ultimately, the suffering of the over empathetic individual can be addressed by self compassion which is a new strategy designed to help with empathy burn out. I recommend a site called self-compassion.org

3

I find it's really important as an empath to have clear boundaries. I soak up other people's energies like a sponge, so I have to be aware of when I need to step back and let go.

3

I think empathy is very important and I think it's possible to have too much. Especially if it is at the expense of self.

3

Okay, so I read this book called “Against Empathy: The Case for Rational Compassion” by the psychologist Paul Bloom. If you are interested in a thorough yet objective exploration of this topic I recommend you check it out.

To briefly summarize, he first defines two kinds of empathy that are often conflated: genuine empathy, which is when you actually take on the emotions of others, and cognitive empathy, which is when you are able to see things from another person’s point of view, but you do not take on their emotions.

He explains why the former can be wonderful for sharing positive emotions but that it can be disastrous otherwise, and how the latter is often useful, BUT, often doesn’t necessarily lead to good deeds because one needs to do more than see things from others’ perspectives to bring good to the world.

Thus he goes on to make his case for rational compassion, which can be supported by cognitive empathy, but is separate from it. He gives vivid examples of the pitfalls of empathy and the ways in which we can actually be better people by not empathizing with others.

Anyway, check it out!!

Didn't read the book but he has lectures on youtube that are very good.

3

Yes. Especially if it is to your own detriment.

3

Yes..absolutely for at least 2 reasons that come straight to mind..

  1. You can become guilt ridden for evil done that you had no part in, yet feel powerless to stop. Guilty even for being a human in a non Humanist controlled world.
  2. If you are a professional Manager of people, too much sympathy and empathy although arming you with a very high emotional IQ , can in certain circumstances impede your judgement on a daily basis where you make decisions that are sometimes too lenient (sometimes not always).

@Stacey48. Sometimes guilt is a symptom or consequence of being too empathetic when you witness pain and suffering through violence war famine abuse..the list of ills are legion. Today anyone can witness, if not the acts perpetrated, then the expertly compiled accounts of mans brutality to man through Television or social media. This incessant exposure both numbs you to suffering but leaves a terrible latant residue of guilt,if not dispair..... so my answer is absolutely yes.

3

Yes i think so

2

I define things as too much if they hurt yourself or the other person in some way

2
2

Empathy, like everything else in life, requires balance. It's when we get out of balance that it becomes more difficult to manage. And balance isn't an easy thing to attain. It requires a lot of give-and-take. It's like walking a tight-rope. So "no," it's not the empathy that's the problem, it's the balance... the boundaries...

2

Totally. I've seen people completely destroy their lIves because of too much empathy.

I accidentally joined a gang once because I had too much empathy

@Stacey48 I saw a bunch of lonely kids looking for a place to belong who just made bad choices and I wanted to help them. I desperately felt for them. I ended up getting caught up in their stuff so much that I almost destroyed myself trying to help them. It wasn't until I tried to leave that I even realized it was a gang.

@Stacey48 it was a necessary experience to learn how to help others without losing yourself to it

On the plus side, now you can say you used to be in a gang!

2

I think that you absolutely can have too much empathy much to your personal detriment. Also I think that empaths often tend to get mixed up with narcissists, which is very damaging. Lee Harris has a You Tube channel and he has some very good pieces on this subject

2

Empathy, like any other social tool is misused when used too much.

2

Yeah... owning someones pain can get ya. It can rip your heart out... make you sick. You got to know how to get hold of yourself... its rough.

1

I hope this link will work. An example of over-the-top empathy yet so satisfying to the soul. "Woman befriends bee". [facebook.com]

1

Most definitely. It sets you up to be abused by narcissists who feed off of exactly that.
[lisaescott.com]

1

Yes. There is a thing about too much empathy.

1

Yes, if it is not proactive then it becomes counterproductive.

1

There seems to be a balance with empathy.

Sometimes I feel like those who profess too much empathy want to control others space or invade others privacy...

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