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How do you feel when someone gives you sympathy?

For any reason. You had a bad day, your dog ran away, your love life went astray, I started rhyming and couldn't stop okay.

Stacey48 8 May 27
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35 comments

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11

Either validated or patronized. It just depends on the context.

8

Depends on who is doing it, and why.

5

I think genuine empathy is more significant than sympathy. Sympathy and patronization has a fine dividing line.

3

Sympathy makes me feel uncomfortable, BUT empathy creates a connection, a mutual understanding as it were.
That is a really good albeit rare occurrence for me.

3

It depends on the situation and the manner of delivery. If it's superficial like "thoughts and prayers" then i feel disposable. If it's authentic like "what can i do to help you right now" then I feel gratitude.

3

If it comes from genuine concern; grateful: if it comes with help attached; even better!

Once was sitting in the paddock bawling near my thoroughly bogged ute having already spent more than a day trying to get it out. Already had a friend come over to give me a hand, we failed and as they don't have a high tolerance for frustration and do have a notoriously bad temper, been abused before they stormed off. So I'm sitting there crying, wet, cold, covered in mud and buggered if I know what to try next.
Anyway an old guy I know was driving around looking for his dog that was lost. He pulls up and sees me there, we walk over to each other and start talking, he tells me about his dog and I tell him that I hadn't seen it, will keep an eye out for it and hope he finds it soon. He then asks me what's wrong and I tell him, lots of sympathy on his part even though he had his own troubles and that helped me feel better, then he decides his ute is powerful enough to pull mine out provided it is on good firm ground and he has chains at home for his front end loader that should be long enough, and that even if the car isn't powerful enough he can then bring down the loader and it definitely will be.
So off he goes to get the chains and the car was able to do it. The dog incidentally also showed up home the next day. But just the fact that he cared had made me feel better, the fact that we got the problem fixed was a bonus. Sometimes you need to know someone is on your side.

Kimba Level 7 May 27, 2018
3

It's okay
It's what you had to say

@WillP2020 ?

3

Love it every time as I don't usually expect it.

Nardi Level 7 May 27, 2018
3

When I'm whining and looking for sympathy, I love it. It gets old quick though.

3

Firstly I liked the rhyming...
Secondly as long as it's not overtly patronising and is relevant to the issues your experiencing..then it's fine and dandy and appropriate and appreciated too.

2

I can't take sympathy, it makes me feel uncomfortable and even more vulnerable. I am almost as bad at expressing sympathy, I try but always feel inadequate and end up spouting the same platitudes as everyone else. Instead, I try to help where I can.

2

I give thanks. It’s nice to be acknowledged.

2

Depends on how I feel about the person expressing the sympathy

2

We all need someone to lean on ( I didn't think this way few years ago though )

2

I have to say.. I was chuckling away to myself as your "for any reason:" part sounded like the subject matter of every Blues song..????

2

Bless your heart... I think it means Fuck you in Texan. I hear it all the time. Another one I hate is "I'll pray for you." Yuck. Don't bother. Waste of time.

2

That's something I am working on. I hate someone showing sympathy to me because it will make it hard for me not to cry. And I hate to cry in "public". It's annoying and embarrassing.

2

I skitter away

2

Hate it, the only thing harder for me to figure out is grief.

2

If they are non-religious, I thank them for caring.

If they are religious, I still thank them for caring but I wonder if they secretly hope their God will humble me.

Mostly because I was once a religious prick that hoped God would humble those I believed were living a wicked life.

Maybe I'm being too cynical toward the religious...

2

I'm not crazy about sympathetic responses, always preferring empathy; but either one tells me that at some level, the other person cares because they're trying to make me feel better. For that I'm always grateful.

2

Pathetic.

2

Indifferent mostly. I appreciate their concern, but it's of little value.
"We both stared at my shoes...she didn't know what I'd do with the rest of my life now either"

2

I'm ok with empathy and sympathy if they are warranted but not for trivial issues.

2

Context needed. I appreciate it if it is something I can't do anything about. I find it annoying if it is over something that I had control over, or that I am going to tackle again. It goes to my intention to succeed. It feels like that are validating failure if I haven't stopped trying.

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