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Casual relationship

A casual relationship where both parties are expected to be monogamous. What would you call that??

ashortbeauty 8 May 31

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Odd way to look at things. Casual to the person who said this must mean we get it on when we get it on and when apart there's no messing around. Weird oxymoron there. I think that 'casual' to most people means 'no restrictions', yet the 'monogamous' part is a restriction.


A rip off. Anybody demanding monogamy while saying it's casual is wanting all the benefits of a relationship with none of the costs. Better to call it what it is "friends with benefits" and retain your ability to look for something more fulfilling and engage in whatever other dalliances you may wish.

Kimba Level 7 May 31, 2018


Thank you!


If there are any sexual benefits, it would be called a sexually exclusive relationship.

I think you nailed it

Nailed it ??? How apt !

@ashortbeauty I like your choice of words. πŸ˜€


I'd call it an "understanding" and the expectations and rules should be understood, agreed to and honored by both parties. It can be secret or public, but honesty between the parties is imperative.


A realtionship with one foot out the door.

But if it works for you and the other person there's absolutely nothing wrong with that.


Not really that casual. But also, kinda awesome. Like go away, I only want to see you once or twice a month, but when I do, we have mindblowing sex, great conversation, and then go back to our lives, while neither of us is out getting STDs to pass on to the other next time. I could do that.

I love this!

@Freespirit64 I tried this once with a guy, only I didn't even care if he had sex as long as he used protection. You'd think he'd love it right? Nope. Wanted more. I didn't. Bummer.

Well alrighty... that's what my HR lady told me she wanted. Just don't stare at her at work...

@BucketlistBob I'm literally laughing out loud. I never use LOL but like I AM. Don't stare at her at work!!!! I'm wondering. Cuz somebody might notice, or cuz SHE might notice and get all flustery and ...

@Jenmcjen thank you for laughing. That's what I wanted you to do. You know I'm just kidding though. Our rules at work were serious. Sexual harrassment was 6 tests and 6 hours of lectures. You had to get 100% to pass. Hmmm.... I really know some stuff when it comes to managing employees and keeping a stress free environment at work. I said this because the HR lady got drunk at a Christmas party and she cut loose. We found her passed out on the floor. She danced with a lot of hourly employees and some got way to close and she kept going like it was nothing. I guess she let her wild side of her come out to play. Whew! I mostly observed in fear for both her and them. But you know... people do get silly and have fun. I have bartender at parties. And got bumped in the butt many times. It felt like a grab though. You got to ask yourself that important question... whose going to tell on you if you start getting


Surely that’s a contradiction? If the relationship requires monogamy then it is not, by definition, casual. Sounds like one party wants to have their cake and eat it.

I think you can be casual but committed. Casual to me just means not making serious future plans and not being too upset when a busy schedule means you may not see each other for a while. Just enjoying the time you have together when you have it without focusing on what's next.

Love your username, btw

@ghost_warlock then you're dating


How casual is anything that has expectations of exclusivity? Christian Dating?

Good point


Does it need a title so long as both parties understand it?

I think one party doesn't quite understand it


Clear communication is the answer. Easier said than done however.


I'd say not entirely casual. If there are specific expectations, that's different than casual. That's an opinion.

Ty for your opinion


I would call that a temporary position which will either evolve into a committed relationship or end/become un-monogamous in time.

It's a 'lets give this a go and see where we wind up' position, but not stable in its current form.

True on the not stable part. I think that's what bugs me. I'm a yes or no person

@ashortbeauty I could, of course, crack an inappropriate joke about stable relationships and girls who love horses - but I won't ... ?

@ToakReon dork

@ToakReon praise gawd!

Hmm ... Was that joke offensive ...?

@ToakReon I am going to jump in here and say that I don't know the joke (not sure I want to πŸ˜•) but I am impressed that you at least asked. Just sayin.


It is called "we are both passing time until we find something better"


If a casual relationship requires an expectation of monogamy it is, in my opinion, no longer a casual relationship.


It sounds like it's not casual.

That's my thought but he Just used those words last night

@ashortbeauty I don't consider a monogamous relationship to be casual. To me, casual would be "just dating," or being in a more open relationship where you are both free to see other people. Not advocating for or against. That's just what I think.

@IAMGROOT what you think is what I was looking for. Ty


Nothing based in reality.

My thoughts

We finally find a disagreement. Everything based in reality. IMHO


Not casual.


Decidedly not casual.


Not too casual .

So just a tad beyond casual?

@ashortbeauty I think so.


Friends with benefits


Casual tends to imply no commitments, while monogamous implies a commitment. So, there seems to be some confusion of definitions here. I'd predict such an ill defined situation is nto likely to end happily.


I say I have a monogamous partner. Though it's been a while. I think that really meant like "I don't want people to know I sleep with this guy."

I also had a boyfriend who wanted to break up, but I bargained my way out of it. I really wanted to introduce him as my boyfriend because he was an incredibly accomplished and attractive guy. Eventually, I was like fine, you don't have to be my boyfriend but let's stay "friends." Except I still came over every weekend and eventually convinced him we can still have make out sessions, it was ok to still be attracted to me, I'm totally a chill laid back girl. Which, that facade broke my heart and essentially he wouldn't become more attentive or proud of me. I actually regressed and wasn't the person he was attracted too in the beginning. So don't end up in that situation either.

Essentially after being single single, nobody online, no lingering exs, no future prospects, etc I had a moment to breath.

Labels are bullshit. I had to reevaluate the purpose I gained from men. What relationships are for. What companionship looks like. If intimacy amd sex meant the same thing. How to sustain my identity while coupled.

Figure out what you want them to call you, make sure it means the same thing, don't compromise. Compare what's expected of you, what you expect from them. And it is ok if these evolve as you grow and change together.


I would call it non-committal. If you’re cool with that, so be it. If you’re not, time to move on.

balou Level 8 May 31, 2018

I hear ya


For some people, "casual" might mean any relationship where marriage isn't a clear expectation (i.e., actively working toward a formal, official commitment). To me, though, casual but monogamous would simply mean that we're not pursuing romantic interests elsewhere, but we don't have the expectation that we'll coordinate all of our time around one another β€” so we're scheduling time for one another, but we're not living together, our lives aren't so intertwined that we are continually checking in with one another, and we don't have an expectation that weekends and/or evenings are automatically spent together. For me, it's an issue of coordinating time to spend with each other as part of our schedule, as opposed to conforming our schedules to one another by default.


It's called "Nope." Too many potential mindgames here.


A really good idea if that's what you both want and agreed on.

And if not what both want?

@ashortbeauty Compromise if can. If you've reached an impasse where one is saying I have to have this and the other is saying I can't do it then that's an answer too.

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