Boebert and Greene Faceoff in Capitol Bathroom Screaming Match

Its being reported Reps. Marjorie Taylor Greene and Lauren Boebert ran into each other in a Capitol bathroom, and got into a screaming match over multiple issues - including Boebert’s questionable loyalty to Speaker McCarthy. Witnesses say Boebert was unaware that Greene was also in the bathroom, and was taken by surprise when Greene confronted her after hearing her voice. The confrontation apparently ended with Boebert hightailing it out of the restroom while shouting at Greene, “Don’t be ugly!”

Wow, how exciting! Finally, another episode of “Middle School Mean Girls in Congress.” Hell, we must be up to “Season 2” by now. Anyway, I’m sure incidents like this are exactly what the Founding Fathers had in mind when they envisioned our “Congress.” Of course, some might claim Adams, Jefferson, Franklin, and Madison would be very shocked by this behavior. Perhaps, but as far as I’m concerned, after Michelle Bachmann was appointed to the House “Intelligence Committee” years ago - frankly, nothing is shocking anymore.

The funny thing is, I always assumed folks like Boebert and Greene were always “packing heat.” So, whatever happened to the old “Stand Your Ground” when you really need it, like in Congressional restrooms? I guess that shit must only apply when they’re confronting liberals or people of color. Well, good thing they weren’t armed, or there would have been a couple of Congressional districts holding special elections in the near future.

Besides, I thought the “MAGA Code of Honor” demands that differences of opinion are supposed to be resolved by violence, not some silly shouting match. You know, by time-honored traditions such as “dueling at 20 paces.” That said, I’m not quite sure how far 20 paces would actually be in “spork feet,” but that’s for them to work out. I’ve never been that good at math, anyway.

Now, rumor has it Marjorie Taylor Greene is trying to appear more “mainstream,” so if Trump or someone like him wins in 2024, she’ll get a cabinet position, such as “Secretary of Defense.” Of course, knowing Greene, she would likely misinterpret that as “Secretary of de Fence,” and set up her desk right beside “Trump’s Wall.” Depressing? Well, sure! That’s why its so important for citizens to make sure to keep their cupboards well-stocked with plenty of Jack Daniel’s.

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