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Asteroid Headed Toward Earth a Day Before the November Elections

In case you haven’t had enough excitement this year, NASA just announced that an asteroid is headed towards Earth, and is expected to arrive one day before the U.S. elections take place in November, though it’s believed the probability of it actually hitting Earth is relatively small. In fact, even less than the Post Office delivering your mail-in ballot on time.

Really? Now, just what in the hell are we supposed to do about an asteroid heading our way? Hey, I got an idea! Wonder if the President could talk Putin into poisoning it? Either that, or have Trump break out one of his famous sharpies - and simply change the asteroid’s trajectory.

Anyway, not to be negative about 2020 or anything, but now humanity is gonna be forced to figure out how to rid ourselves of one big asteroid and one big asshole - and all in just 24 hours! And, while I’m certainly no expert on these matters, this sure like a job for “Space Force!”

In the meantime, it now appears two hurricanes are heading straight toward us - and at the same time! In addition, Death Valley just registered a temperature of 130F the other day, only two degrees below the “hottest temperature ever recorded on Earth.” Soooooo, I guess you can say, there’s at least been some good news in 2020.

[johnnyrobishcomedy.com]

johnnyrobish 8 Aug 22
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1

tRump has it all under control. He has a 30 billion dollar project in the works, with Putin, because "our great, new rocket isn't quite ready yet, and we don't trust non-patriotic space guys' rockets, so we will use the Russian's good rocket." And has Representative Cheney gathering her father's old oil drilling buddies to attack the evil asteroid. "It is all an original plan, mine," tRump says.

1

It must be a sign. We are officially doomed and Trump is going to win, unless we are all wiped out before the results are counted.

1

Figures

bobwjr Level 10 Aug 22, 2020

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Posted by KilltheskyfairyI really can’t, can you?

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