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Mitch McConnell Worries COVID Relief Checks Will Make Folks Too Lazy to Work

During an appearance on Fox News, Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) told host Martha MacCallum that he opposes extending unemployment benefits and providing $1400 COVID relief checks for Americans, because people may decide not to go back to work.

Point well taken Mitch! Hell, nearly everyone I know retired almost immediately after getting that last $600 relief payment a few months ago. I can still hear them shouting at the top of their lungs “I’ll never have to work again!” The ugly truth is, we’ll all be sipping piña coladas at the beach in Cancun right now - if Ted Cruz hadn’t already booked most of the available hotel rooms. And, God forbid, that we end up getting yet another $1400 in this new COVID relief bill. Hell, we’d all be purchasing luxury yachts.

That said, you can’t really blame old Mitch for having an attitude like that. After all, he’s just doing exactly what all Republicans in congress do, which is basically nothing. That’s right, we’re paying Mitch McConnell $174,000 a year plus perks, to complain about assisting struggling families, who are desperately in need of help. Good work, if you can find it. I believe it’s called “wining, dining, and pocket lining.”

So, what about that $1400 Mitch is trying to convince us is some kind of “massive government windfall giveaway?” Well, I’m no financial expert, but my guess is, no one could think about buying even one of Mitch’s cheapest suits - for a measly $1400. Of course, to be completely fair and to end on a positive note, I’m pretty sure that if one of us were to get COVID-19 and croak, that $1400 should come pretty darn close to covering most, if not all, of our cremation costs. So, we’ve got that going for us.


johnnyrobish 7 Mar 3
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Simply don’t understand Kentucky. I think bourbon is brown because there must be some awful shit in their water....

Canndue Level 7 Mar 4, 2021

This is projection in all caps...

racocn8 Level 8 Mar 4, 2021


bobwjr Level 9 Mar 4, 2021

What’s his excuse for doing nothing? Maybe we should take his paycheck?

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