Study Suggests Wild Deer Could be Spreading COVID to Humans

A new study suggests wild deer may have infected humans with the COVID-19 virus, although it has not yet been definitively confirmed. White-tailed deer on Staten Island were the first wild animals with documented Omicron infections, but the coronavirus has since been found in deer in 15 additional states.

Oh, deer! Well, I suppose it’s not all that surprising, given that it’s nearly impossible to get the 4-legged bastards to wear face masks in public. Guess that explains why the TSA won’t allow wild deer to fly on commercial airlines. So, the first COVID infections in deer were discovered on Staten Island? Why, that means SNL’s Pete Davidson probably has it. We can only hope Davidson hasn’t spread it through the entire Kardashian clan because obviously, that would impact a helluva lot of NBA players!

Anyway, time for Fox News to queue up some huge conspiracy about “Dr. Fauci being seen wandering through the woods of North America, deliberately infecting wild deer so he can begin pushing his ‘mandates’ on the deer population as well.” Meanwhile, Donald Trump has been asking “if these deer are really ‘American deer,’ or are they alien deer who slipped across the border, hoping to find where we stash all our doe?” Of course, the truth is, most of them didn’t find any doe - they only found a few bucks.

Even so, one thing’s for sure, it won’t do any good to try and vaccinate these damn deer. I mean, where the hell is a wild deer gonna carry a vaccination card anyway? That said, even though deer to human transmission of COVID-19 hasn’t been fully verified as yet, the CDC is still suggesting that as a precaution, anyone who happens to encounter one of these deer, had better run for deer life!

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