My birthday is coming up in a few days and I can feel the dread creeping up on me. He always made me feel like the most important person in the world to him. From the moment I woke up he showered me with attention, from the birthday card on my pillow to the breakfast he made to all the little gifts he would give to me throughout the day.
Things I may have mentioned in passing months ago would show up. Throughout the day he would tell me how lucky he was to have me in his life. We would go for a drive, one of my favorite things is to explore new places and he would let me chose which direction to go. We would always end up at a restaurant for dinner or sometimes he would cook something special.
Each year it would be different enough not to be able to anticipate. Sometimes with family and sometimes just the two of us. Don’t get me wrong…I appreciate the memories and all the experiences we had, I treasure them. I know I’m lucky to have had him in my life but that just the problem, they are all in the past and the thought of never being with him again and making new memories is killing me. No more I love you whispered in my ear and the big bear hugs and kisses.
I just want this week to be over.
11
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7 comments
Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.each of us experiences this loss in our own way and therefore we deal with it in our own way too. I found anniversaries very hard but after a few years I made a decision to help others on that day as a way of honoring and remembering her.
For instance last year I walked in Coldest Night of the Year march and donated what I would have spent on dinner/flowers/ etc to help them feed the less fortunate/us. This year I walked in support of Ukraine and donated the money to help people there.
Doing things like that change nothing for her and I but I take comfort that it may do something for someone else
bookofmorons
Level 8
Apr 12, 2022
2
Thank you.
I've had to deal with those feelings as well 
WayneDalton
Level 8
Apr 11, 2022
3
Thank you.
@Betty you're welcome.
I know it isn’t easy, but try to focus on the positive and the realisation of how lucky you were to enjoy all that pampering on your birthdays over many years. Change the emphasis from the fact that you will no longer enjoy any new pampering to that of the memories of a particular birthday or birthdays, and enjoy the happy memory that remembering them will bring back to you. By changing your outlook to one of pleasant thoughts for something you had, instead of sadness for what you have lost, you can change your whole mood from feeling unhappy, to nostalgia…perhaps even actual happiness.
I speak as someone who has trod your path before you and only wish to reach out and give you the benefit of my own coping strategy on losing my husband after 37 very happy years of marriage.
Marionville
Level 10
Apr 11, 2022
5
Thank you.
it's natural to feel the way you do. best to remember the good times. the pain never disappears but it eases with time. at least that was my experience.
TheDoubter
Level 9
Apr 11, 2022
3
Thank you.
Your post could be my post Betty. I too had a wonderful partner who made my birthday a special day. . The past 4 birthdays have been a real disappointment but I have accepted this is my life now. I am just glad I have the good memories to remember. It does get easier with time.
Redheadedgammy
Level 9
Apr 11, 2022
6
Thank you.
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