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Has anyone here gotten therapy after their significant other died? Do you think it helped you?
I have started a online therapy called: better help.com and the therapist thinks I have missed a few steps in the grieving process so I am revisiting my grief. Will update periodically with updates as to whether their advice is helping me or not.

By MsHoliday8
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0

Some kind of counseling/therapy was part of my wife's cremation services. Never used it. Somehow I call this magic number and someone on the other end of the line can undead my wife and make everything nice and rosey? I think not. It did take me about a year and a half to snap out of it. I thought I was fine just a few weeks later.

Bobsuruncle Level 7 Mar 28, 2019
1

Yes. I started seeing a therapist about 3 months after my husband died. I was in therapy for about 8 months. It helped tremendously.

I encourage others to seek help when they experience a large life event.

However, not all therapists are created equal. If you don't mesh with this one, there's nothing wrong with requesting someone else.

Sara72712 Level 6 Aug 19, 2018
3

I think that these therapists are just like lawyers chasing ambulances. Thriving off the grief of others. Each of us has to go through our own grieving process. There is no magic solution.

ugly Level 7 Aug 11, 2018
1

No but perhaps I should have.

JackPedigo Level 8 Aug 10, 2018
1

I went to one session with my husband's therapist just to talk through my feelings. She just validated my complicated feelings and that was enough for me. I have all of the feelings, at anytime, in any order. I feel them and I move on. If I ever get stuck in a feeling then I might go back.

Doraz Level 7 Aug 10, 2018
2

There is NO road map for grief. Even though there are similarities in most peoples grieving, we're all different. You haven't missed any "steps". You just haven't gotten there yet, if you ever will.

I didn't get the counceling that I could have from the Hospice. It was run by a christian and I didn't want to subject myself to that abuse. I've had enough therapy to last a lifetime. Wait a minute! It HAS lasted a lifetime!

AncientNight Level 8 Aug 10, 2018
1

Yes, lots

psycheworks Level 8 Aug 10, 2018
4

I was offered grief counseling from the hospice company, but I didn't take it. I think I am a realistic person and am doing ok by myself. My husband was also an atheist, so I know his feelings about death being final

Susieq Level 7 Aug 10, 2018
1

there is no steps in grieving just grief and how you cope with it the 5 stages of grief were meant for the person facing death not those left behind

weeman Level 7 Aug 10, 2018

Yes you are right. After I signed up I googled it and that came up.

@Holiday yup we are comp[licated creatures would be nice to think there is a system we could utilise to help the process but i think it boils down to each individual good luck though i hope it goes well for you

2

My daughter did. We've both been in for different reasons prior.
This time around I chose not to. There was nothing anyone could "redirect"/"rephrase" in my case, as I ceased to be me and did everything I could to ease his horrible journey. I was and am, at peace with myself during that horrific time.

Altho I loved our last therapist one of the areas I needed help with (with my late dh before he was ill) he totally dropped the ball and wasted a ton of time. His great strength being dealing with the school system and kids with IEPs.
Soooo, after having found out a lot on my own, things he totally could have helped me with, began to prepare with online articles before dh's passing. That did help a great deal.

With all that it's like I have this totally new relationship with dh in his wake. It's bizarre.
Turns out I was mourning him twice, and now 3 times. Before he was ill, during, and after.

In any case widowhood articles were a big help to me. Widow/widower hood is a club unto itself and it's different for everyone. But one thing seems to be constant, in my case the points about how becoming a widow changing your relationships with friends etc is totally true. A lot of people just didn't know what to do with us. We aren't him. And we remind them of him. And probably remind them of all the "if you need anythings" that weren't specific enough and never came to be....

This is very cool Holiday. Is this the site? the link didn't come up in your post.

[betterhelp.com]

Qualia Level 8 Aug 10, 2018

Yes it is.

3

i submitted myself to a therapist for several months, about a year after the fact, but i only lasted maybe 8-10 sessions. she wasnt telling me anything i didnt already know, nor was she being particularly helpful in how to handle grief, so we parted ways. personally, i wouldnt recommend therapy, at least not based on my experience.

RidingAlone Level 6 Aug 10, 2018
3

no. my wife died of ALS, a trajectory that can last years between diagnosis and death. there is no return ticket from a diagnosis so you start to grieve immediately. it's not like losing a dear one in an auto accident or plane crash

TheDoubter Level 8 Aug 10, 2018
5

My biggest therapy was my kids, we shared our grieving with his passing together, was the best therapy.

Sheannutt Level 9 Aug 10, 2018
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