Borowitz strikes again.

Diogenes comments on Apr 30, 2019:

Ya, and that belly flab bounces around too, and gets worked out, as he goes from hole to hole, when he cheats on the golf course. 'Sam Clement' had it wrong when he said, "Golf ruins a good walk." Trump? Walk?

Trump has passed the 10,000 mark for number of falsehoods.

Diogenes comments on Apr 30, 2019:

Some good ones about 'What-ever-it-is'. Sorry, I haven't got the name of either the comedian or reporter. "Trump is going to get the Nobel Prize for fiction." A reporter reported 43 items of Trump's last night's blither in Minneapolis. After one, he said, "... for those that don't understand word salad...". Ya, like that 'word salad bit!

I intend to live forever, or die trying....Groucho Marx.

Diogenes comments on Apr 30, 2019:

Good one!

Something to consider! If a person sleeps the recommended number of sleep-hours for the day, it is ...

Diogenes comments on Apr 29, 2019:

Yes, "quality", not "quantity". ---- and I hope it gave you a laugh too- even with your, and my, "yikes!"

They already took your good jobs, that’s why you're doing this one but it’s only temporary, as ...

Diogenes comments on Apr 27, 2019:

In Japan they are going to use automatic cooks and servers (cuts costs). Anyone ever try to joke or have a friendly conversation with a robot? Maybe babble a bit about the local news?

The tweet says it all...

Diogenes comments on Apr 27, 2019:

But the cardinal question is, "At 38%, what keeps Trump's rating so 'high'?"

Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.....Mahatma Gandhi.

Diogenes comments on Apr 27, 2019:

Good morning. Yes, agree. "He/ she lived their life so carefully they safely arrived at their death." I have often wondered about people that are not living their lives; what have they got to lose?

It's friggin true!

Diogenes comments on Apr 27, 2019:

RobbertNappi has already said what I was going to say; Obama is a far better 'person' than the 'Trump- vegetable'. Trump's curriculum vitae, if he has ever written one, would be in messy crayon with spelling errors. And a conversation with Trump- just what would 'that' be about? To many people "groping and grabbing", besides being obviously evil, would be infantile, and only be suitable to a Trump-like thing.

If Election Day were today

Diogenes comments on Apr 24, 2019:

One thing to think about; this stack of tipsy economic cards is going to finally collapse---- and that may happen just as the Democrats take office.

Rare footage..

Diogenes comments on Apr 24, 2019:

I finally corrected my post---- hope it makes a little more sense.

Criminals Pick AG and Judges

Diogenes comments on Apr 24, 2019:

Trump is the total, consummate criminal. He has set up his criminal dictatorship to succeed. Unfortunately for him, his body, above the neck, wasn't equipped with anything other than a hat rack, and he doesn't even use that. Besides being insane- he is brainless. He has set up his dictatorship too fast and too obviously open: refusing to reveal his criminal tax scams, openly charging his unending trips to Mar-a-Lago. (Has he ever been to the 'official' presidential retreat, Camp David?)

Where justice is denied, where poverty is enforced, where ignorance prevails, and where any one ...

Diogenes comments on Apr 24, 2019:

Yes, most certainly! In this current world, no matter what country a person is in, another thought that needs to be acted upon, "The person that is willing to give up their freedom for safety, will eventually end up with neither." Excuse me, now that I am 110 years old, I have forgotten where my paraphrase came from.

Glad I'm not going to heaven. Haha!

Diogenes comments on Apr 24, 2019:

All that fucking harp music- and none of it Irish. Think I will take up the booze again so I can go to hell.---- Having a few pints is EVIL.

Rare footage..

Diogenes comments on Apr 24, 2019:

When the invisible-dude was invented---- great PR. I understand why you can't see him/her/it- you just don't believe. It reminds me of Hans Christian Andersen's, Emperor's New Cloths- only the indoctrinated could see the clothes-- the unindoctrinated kid said, "The dude ain't got no clothes on." LOL. I wonder what Andersen thought about the name he was given.

Donald Trump will make a three day official state visit to the UK in June, Buckingham Palace ...

Diogenes comments on Apr 24, 2019:

And if he visited ANY country, what would the red hat look like in their language?

I volunteered with the Green Bay UU to clean up some parks on the Fox River.

Diogenes comments on Apr 21, 2019:

I agree with what you are doing- and what you said, althoug I am not a so-called, "Liberal". I am practical and a realist. I am in Canada, and like the UK, there is a Liberal (political) Party- and they once were relevant to the real world.

Hello everyone! It’s been a long time since I have posted anything, a lot of changes in my life, ...

Diogenes comments on Apr 21, 2019:

I don't care what theist do, as long as they don't start to indoctrinate untutored, young children; that is evil. Starting wars, for the "sake of gaud-dude" requires the death penalty. I am not an "athiest"; I will not take my time to argue with a theist, about something as foolish as religion. That would be like arguing with a three-year-old about what kind of duck Donald Duck is. If you have an sincerity in what you are saying (not saying you don't), you could donate to cancer research.

I have read the ‘double speak,’ of this demented government report.

Diogenes comments on Apr 19, 2019:

I've worn out the topic; Trump is insane; he's not putting on an act. But don't you just like his Mar-a-Lago tan?

Lesley, ya'll need less Jesus. [ladbible.com]

Diogenes comments on Apr 18, 2019:

Let's get to the point. Religion is a joke, an unfunny joke. She is a nutter, but aren't they all? She must have gotten some of that eye-lash make up in her eye. And to continue on, The Crown of Thorns: how does anyone, including a king, posses a tangible object for a ficticious 'god/being', call it what you want? It was a fantastic building; I have been in Notre Dame. It is/was beautiful, well worth seeing. The medevil architecture would be worthy of study. Then we get to the irony: 851 years ago this vast building was being built to a ficticious, 'loving' god--- while the poor were starving in the streets. Superstition breeds such profound hate. There can be no excuse.

Okay so can someone explain without swearing why? I want to see what you all say.

Diogenes comments on Apr 17, 2019:

Lots of great answers to this Trump pimp. My question is though, why would anyone answer someone with an 'empty container' atop their neck?

Love the ending...

Diogenes comments on Apr 17, 2019:

Yes, certainly. Nothing that slithers out of Trump's gob, has any connection to reality.

Real journalists only repeat government approved progaganda. ;)

Diogenes comments on Apr 15, 2019:

Most "real journalist" are dead, executed by the establishment. Being 'honest' is a very dangerous activity.

Starting with Clinton; we went from a guy that liked to fuck.

Diogenes comments on Apr 15, 2019:

"Guy that like to 'fuck'", began with Kennedy.

TWITTER URGED TO SUSPEND DONALD TRUMP AFTER PRESIDENT ACCUSED OF ‘SHARING PROPAGANDA VIDEOS ...

Diogenes comments on Apr 15, 2019:

But still nothing is being done. The loon keeps running around at break-neck speed doing one-man, hate-government over twitter. There is no government department, where there is a secretary, that he hasn't issued his, in-the-night, latest brain fart to contradict policy.

We all know that people working for trump have resigned, or quit.

Diogenes comments on Apr 15, 2019:

Not "all" slime working for the Trump dictatorship have resigned, all the criminals are there, but even they are on a tentative leash- because he may suspect them of not being loyal-Trump criminals. The only ones that have left on their own volition are the one's who could no longer bare the burden of working for this criminal organization.

If only all traffic cops were so observant.

Diogenes comments on Apr 15, 2019:

Don't get it--- but around here, a person wants to really study the territory before they assume their green light allows them to proceed.

"When the truth loses you friends... get better friends." Jimmy Dore

Diogenes comments on Apr 13, 2019:

That post must have been meant especially for me today- thanks, although I like to think that I 'earn' friendship and don't have 'throw-away' friends. If I did, that would make me a fool by knowing them in the first place.

The willfully ignorant

Diogenes comments on Apr 12, 2019:

So true! So sick!

Barr screwed up by forcing Democrats to subpoena the Mueller report and now Trump is in more ...

Diogenes comments on Apr 11, 2019:

"Barr screwed up". No he hasn't; he is doing exactly what Trump has instructed him to do- but after sucking Trump's asshole, he should at least wipe some of the shit off his mouth, before he faces the public.

The Whistling Gypsy Rover.

Diogenes comments on Apr 11, 2019:

Good tune- and big thanks for the added info. I have that LP; I need to have my old record player worked on. Hope you are having a good day.

"As I looked at the stains on the coral, I recalled some of the eloquent phrases of politicians and ...

Diogenes comments on Apr 11, 2019:

Yes, the 'non-combating' warriors, like Trump, are the first to send the military to murder- or be killed themselves.

Obama cared

Diogenes comments on Apr 11, 2019:

Positive picture. Puts some light on the day! It would be great to have a conversation with Obama, about ANYTHING. Any choice would be a good, fun-filled choice. Could a person find SOMETHING/ANYTHING to talk about with the witless-object that is now polluting the White House?

Fired staffers outnumber...

Diogenes comments on Apr 11, 2019:

Read an article in the Canadian National Post that the idiot, Trudeau, had removed two MPs from Caucus, something that hasn't happened since 1921. Hell, Trump does that many, or more, in one day.

“It gives me great pleasure indeed to see the stubbornness of an incorrigible nonconformist warmly...

Diogenes comments on Apr 7, 2019:

THAT quote is what I needed this morning, except "Al" made one mistake- the 'honest nonconformist' will be waiting one hell of a long time before he gets "warmly acclaimed".

We need empathy, not religion.

Diogenes comments on Apr 6, 2019:

That is 100% true. There needs to be no appology for that statement.

old juke,, but still a good one

Diogenes comments on Mar 31, 2019:

Shadow, what is this "juke" bit? You tryin' to horn in on my style? If I write two words, I make a three-word typo. Now THAT takes tallent.

Justice will prevail in NY.

Diogenes comments on Mar 31, 2019:

Justice is right now! Trump can buy a $million suit (with money he has stolen)- but he still has to hang it on his flabby, two-bit body.

Barr says he'll be releasing a redacted copy of Mueller's report in Mid-April.

Diogenes comments on Mar 30, 2019:

The 'hidden news' IS the news.

I love this guy! Here's a pretty concise accounting of the facts. [youtube.com]

Diogenes comments on Mar 30, 2019:

Get it straight! Trump is NOT pretending! Trump IS insane. If Trump ever manages to get total dictatorship, people like Schiff will be DEAD. Apocalyptic empires have happened many times before in this world- and it is happening right now in the US.

Truer words were never spoken.

Diogenes comments on Mar 30, 2019:

Yes, even to get back to Chauser's, The Pilgrim's Progress, gives a person a view of values and religion in his time period.

But... but... but... Obama already took our guns!

Diogenes comments on Mar 30, 2019:

How long did it take the Prime Minister of New Zealand to deal with the fucking gun issue? ONE WEEK---- But she's a woman- and women are showing more guts than the weak-kneed men.

Breaking News: Trump will not be competing in this year's Special Olympics.

Diogenes comments on Mar 29, 2019:

Yes, but he should have won a "pound" of diamonds for being mentally deficient!

Mueller Report Exceeds 300 Pages, Raising Questions About Four-Page Summary By Nicholas Fandos, ...

Diogenes comments on Mar 29, 2019:

"300 pages"-- and not managing to get to the point. I am in Canada, and our PM, Pretty Boy, Trudeau, the dummy, is working as hard as he can to get the kids on marajuana. Each town has the option of allowing the sale in their town, and there was a townhall meeting. By gaud-dude, the facts, percentages, taxes, benefits, whatever-else, was flying around in unbelievable volumes. Only a few adressed the point. What I learned from this was, " It is better to get stomch or lung cancer from a legal, clean governmet-regulated place than to get cancer from a dirty, unregulated place. If a person dried dandylion leaves and smoked them, it would cause lung cancer. My main point here is not about "marajuana"- it is about "300 pages" of bull shit, is still bull shit.

I love this guy! Here's a pretty concise accounting of the facts. [youtube.com]

Diogenes comments on Mar 29, 2019:

That is so 'point by point' right on!

Idris Elba and Richard Madden giggle about fart sounds and “bollocks”! [youtu.be]

Diogenes comments on Mar 29, 2019:

Good, good, good! You have let your "hair down", and "funny"- not evn gross! Thanks for the video!

Yes indeedy

Diogenes comments on Mar 28, 2019:

And the cure to the problem, so cheap, a piece of rope--- strong enough to hang a bag of shit.

Another good christian

Diogenes comments on Mar 28, 2019:

Evil!!!!!!! -------Wonder what her 'army of gardeners' get paid and how bad the shacks are that they live in.

Some have asked about Yorkshire .

Diogenes comments on Mar 28, 2019:

Poor ol' Gracie, the "Lancashire Lass", wouldn't like Lancashire remarks. Don't think the Geordies would delight in Der Fuhrer's approval either

And what's on your reading list?

Diogenes comments on Mar 28, 2019:

Trump has never read a book in his life. I had to study James Joyce's "Ulysses". To tell the truth, I still haven't got the slightest idea, what it was about, and I don't know if Joyce did either. For me it was a difficult read. Okay, I got the class dunce cap. Trump wouldn't even understand the moral views of Charles Dickens; his novels are pleasant, and EASY reads.

It's so predictable.

Diogenes comments on Mar 28, 2019:

"Day", how about "years" of stress. I would like to get off this boring 'hobby' of being awake all night.

They taught us to postpone judgments, to acknowledge mistakes, to mistrust your own work and give ...

Diogenes comments on Mar 28, 2019:

Yes.

There is nothing which can better deserve your patronage, than the promotion of science and ...

Diogenes comments on Mar 28, 2019:

I've read somewhere, "Good luck comes to him who is prepared." One way of being prepared is to have knowledge. "George" had it right. LOL.

I can hardly wait for this to happen, not!

Diogenes comments on Mar 28, 2019:

... and all the constantly changing devices, when a person finally gets the last one figured out. The industry MUST change it to the next "faster and easier" one---- which takes another year to learn. Somewhere here, I see a non sequitur.

I can hardly wait for this to happen, not!

Diogenes comments on Mar 28, 2019:

I think that's a picture of me. Uhhhh!

Your mom annoyed you? Do this? booooom!?????

Diogenes comments on Mar 27, 2019:

Ouch!!!

And what's on your reading list?

Diogenes comments on Mar 27, 2019:

Ya, but too truthful!

A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked ...

Diogenes comments on Mar 27, 2019:

Made me laugh! LOL

He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot, but don’t let that fool you, he really is an ...

Diogenes comments on Mar 27, 2019:

... and what Socrates said at his trial, before he had to drink his hemlock-cocktail, "I am wise enough to know that there are subjects that I am ignorant of, the average Athenian isn't."- Excuse please; that is my version of his quote; been a long time since I've read it.

Hands up, anybody who is surprised at this outcome? Anyone? Anyone at all? I thought not.

Diogenes comments on Mar 26, 2019:

Even then- a fat, little bastard!

Barr submits his summary

Diogenes comments on Mar 26, 2019:

YESSSS.That should be a parody on dedicated evil!

A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.....Walter Winchell.

Diogenes comments on Mar 26, 2019:

Yes.

This easily applies to the Trump White House ?

Diogenes comments on Mar 26, 2019:

... and "Thou shall have no other gods before me." which makes it convenient for Trump, because he is his own deity, and worships himself.

Trump bashes McCain for not thanking him for funeral. Seriously!?

Diogenes comments on Mar 25, 2019:

There are not enough words in any dictionary or language to describe Trump.

As you prepare for the Trump debated tomorrow, words of wisdom from Mark Twain.

Diogenes comments on Mar 25, 2019:

Have not the slightest idea what the first one is about. (Ya, I know, "Never admit you don't know.") The second one hits the nail on the head.

Not a child psychologist.

Diogenes comments on Mar 24, 2019:

Well funny- also too true!

From Scotland : And then you can have Shooglenifty proving why they are so called when they got the ...

Diogenes comments on Mar 24, 2019:

Fantastic! Thanks for the video post.

Extra, extra! The real moment when the gospel was going to be written!

Diogenes comments on Mar 24, 2019:

One bit that amused me. The faith-healers bought the the church building in the neighbourhood; the ones that cure a terminally ill person, that then runs in the Boston the next day. Well I thought that I might go over and get them to cure my dandruff---- but that was too complex. Apparently there were not as many suckers around as the con-artists expected- nobody showed up. NOOOO, I did not go either. LOL

What’s my IQ?

Diogenes comments on Mar 24, 2019:

My question about these boards is, if a person is a lousy player on 'one' board, why would they buy one like this--- to set up in their livingroom- where it will be seen?

Friends are relatives you make for yourself....Eustache Deschamps.

Diogenes comments on Mar 24, 2019:

That is SOOOO true!

Goodnight Kitty They're talking about snow overnight here - it's Spring! ?

Diogenes comments on Mar 23, 2019:

Same here, "snow". Good god-dude, besides, it is COLD. I won't stop shivering till August.

Union dues. Why GM had layoffs! Will he ever shut up? [labor411.org]

Diogenes comments on Mar 23, 2019:

Said it before- Trump should go down to the stock yard and get a good used brain, maybe have to wash a little mud off it----- but it would be a hell of a lot better that the one that opens his gob now!

Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be....Abraham Lincoln.

Diogenes comments on Mar 23, 2019:

Then why did Mr. Lincoln's wife, Mary, go insane after their son's and his death. Maybe she wasn't "positive" enough! He, apparently, had long periods of depression as the war dragged on.------ sorry Link, ya got it very wrong.

Extra, extra! The real moment when the gospel was going to be written!

Diogenes comments on Mar 23, 2019:

"Four"? How about a million?

You cannot do a kindness too soon, for you never know how soon it will be too late.

Diogenes comments on Mar 22, 2019:

Yes, yes, said this before: better to leave people with a smile on their face, than a frown.

"The opposite of the religious fanatic is not the fanatical atheist but the gentle cynic who cares ...

Diogenes comments on Mar 22, 2019:

Some are like lobotomized slugs- too lazy to have an opinion about much of anything.

It's time that Billionaires start losing:

Diogenes comments on Mar 22, 2019:

"Billionaires start losing": Georges Danton and Maximilien Robespiererre caused the rich to stop winning------"zing"- there goes another one!

Some Answers to the Question: Why Do British People Not Like Trump?

Diogenes comments on Mar 22, 2019:

I had a 'relative' that never, at anytime in her life, told a joke; she didn't have the ability to understand why a person would tell a joke and bring a smile to someone's face.

Give him credit...

Diogenes comments on Mar 22, 2019:

... and the bookkeepers that have to tally his crimes- at least a few dozen every day!

The ultimate tragedy is not the oppression and cruelty by the bad people, but the silence over that ...

Diogenes comments on Mar 22, 2019:

Yes, to me, "silence" is collusion. Fighting evil always makes the combatant stronger, regardless of the end result- and I will never say that action is 'easy'.

This one is for @Diogenes, a special request.

Diogenes comments on Mar 21, 2019:

Everybody, I am going to have to drag myself into the 21st Century and learn more tasks on the computer. I thank Marionville for doing this for me. The video was also fantastic. Another piece by Ketelbey that still is often played is Persian Market, but I like all venues of music.

One for @Marionville and many others.

Diogenes comments on Mar 21, 2019:

That was fantastic!

Schwarzenegger Pulls No Punches in a Rare Rebuke of Trump The former California governor called ...

Diogenes comments on Mar 21, 2019:

Thanks for putting that on.

His illegal behavior goes way back..

Diogenes comments on Mar 21, 2019:

But I love Trump's fantastic salute. He must have learned that by watching a war movie involving John Wayne- who didn't serve either. A couple of the world's toughest 'non-combatants'.

Germany wants US ambassador expelled

Diogenes comments on Mar 21, 2019:

Germany learned from their mistake. The US learned the inverse to what the Germans learned. The US 'war and murder industry' has gone on non-stop since 1945. Eisenhower (his name, verbatim, in German, means "iron hammerer"). He warned about "The military-industrial complex" in the early 60s. When there is more money for war than schools, there is something seriously wrong.

100% True....

Diogenes comments on Mar 21, 2019:

They've already had a huge lunch---- how many more do they have to eat?

SOMETHING IS SERIOUSLY WRONG WITH TRUMP! He's still breathing!

Diogenes comments on Mar 20, 2019:

Well gotta give him credit, with all that fat on him, 'breathing' must take a lot of effort.

Men are nearly always willing to believe what they wish.

Diogenes comments on Mar 19, 2019:

Are you hitting on "men" now? First thing in the morning even! LOL. Please laugh. Good to see you. Yesterday thought maybe I should have kept my opinions to myself. If something doesn't need to be said: solution, don't say it. 04:00 in the morning here and another sleepless night.

They're rolling in that fast now.

Diogenes comments on Mar 18, 2019:

That should take about three seconds--- you will be hungry when you get back.

Immigrants all look alike lol

Diogenes comments on Mar 18, 2019:

... an' all idiots do-like Trumpf.

'Ya think there might have been a photo shop?

Diogenes comments on Mar 18, 2019:

Like another doctored better. Him with a sign saying "Dog". Her with a sign saying "Fire hydrant"

When you don't speak Dutch... ????

Diogenes comments on Mar 18, 2019:

Het spijt mij alstublieft; ik snapt dis niet. Erst, mischien, dis is niet uit Nederland- meer Belgie.

[youtube.com] If you're not having a happy Irish day then Bugger Off

Diogenes comments on Mar 18, 2019:

I went to the local pub yesterday, had a couple of Guinness- but there was NO fun. They were handing out cheap, green, lite flashing, Chinese trinkets. What does that have to do with Ireland or Irish humour? If I had stayed at home, I wouldn't have come home depressed------BIG, BIG, thanks for that- made me laugh!

Well let me say this about Trump.

Diogenes comments on Mar 18, 2019:

I enjoy SNL- but there will be nonononono laughing when the asshole controls the media. It is over a year to go before the 2020 election.

Socrates on marriage By all means, marry.

Diogenes comments on Mar 18, 2019:

My former 'bride' and I only had one fight. It just proves I'm not a long-distance fighter- I refused to come out for round 9,001. And that's my 'phylosophy' on the matter.

You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ...

Diogenes comments on Mar 18, 2019:

Well good ol' C. S. may have had somethings right, but it isn't this one This is a platitude. For example, this may be an exceptionally evil example but when a German youth was indoctrinated by the NAZIs and he murdered people, could he change what he had done in adulthood? No, and he could never live down the guilt either.

When the debate is lost, slander is the tool of the loser - Socrates

Diogenes comments on Mar 17, 2019:

The Trump-thing lost the day it was hatched.

☘️.

Diogenes comments on Mar 17, 2019:

"Rose of Tralee", a favourite, and John McCormack brought back good memories.

“I can resist everything except temptation!” Happy St Patrick’s Day to all of you.

Diogenes comments on Mar 17, 2019:

I read it somewhere that his last quote was, "Either this wallpaper has to go or I go." --- so he went! 'Gonna' leave it at that, and not say anymore about 'Mr. Wilde'.

Deplorables disgust me:

Diogenes comments on Mar 16, 2019:

"Indifference" and non-action should be considered "collusion".

You know it!

Diogenes comments on Mar 16, 2019:

Here I sit alone in my cave- gone so batty, I've even driven the bats out. Actually, 03:50, and I am in the coffee shop. This sleepless crap has gone on so long I no longer care.