Well...after 9 years, my husband just broke up with me via text - the first day i was off on my annual mother-son road trip. Why would someone end a marriage via text?
On the surface knowing only what is posted I would naturally agree... I also suspect some things may have been left out of the story. I would need more information and actual facts about your relationship and how things have been lately if I were going to take sides. Apply critical thinking to more than just religion... you seem nice, I wish you well... I would not do that... but you have a 9 year history and have posted a 5 line singular event.
yes, valid/ it occurred to me after posting that it would have been natural for some reading that to heathily wonder what our connection had been like and what my part in the dysfunction has been. this is out of left field and while i'm not perfect, i always addressed things directly...and did my best to show respect for him as well as for myself.
folks - Thank you! i am so new to this forum i haven't even got my profile up yet - but i needed some rational folk to gather opinions from - I really needed to hear that my sense that this really wasn't okay to do this way was valid. I know there are 2 sides to every story - and obviously he was not happy - and i would never want anyone to be with me if they weren't truly happy - and vice versa - i just think it's sad that after all that time and intimacy and all the nice things I did and the caring i showed him and his family, this makes sense to him. but it is what it is. I just really needed to download and get some straight opinions - i can't thank you all enough for taking the time to share your thoughts and personal stories. Please let me know if i can ever return the favour. M.
Were are you located? If you just want to chat it would be good. I am in Hanford , California sometimes chatting with someone who went through soething simaliar but when ex left me it was like a ton taken off of me!
I'm going to guess he doesn't communicate well. Doing this while you are on the road could mean he's cleaning out the house and bank accounts. The bright spot in this debacle is that he doesn't get to see you weak, when you get back you can look strong and drive the narrative because you have had time to think it out. It's about you now, make plans. BTW, check your accounts, take your name off his cards before he puts a down on a lawyer, generally about $2500 you will be responsible for.
I don't mean to be so cold, but you will need the money later if not now. Be decisive.
thank you for the advice, i wouldn't hve thought to do that!
Because he’s a cunt. Sorry, but a strong expression is required.
Sorry to hear this. It would seem to be extremely inappropriate and insensitive. Unless he was angry for some reason and justified this method as OK. BUt a coward, non the less.
Wow. I have no words. Just, wow. And so sorry.
That's like something middle school children would do.
... or the POTUS LLOL
Like everyone else here...I'm on your side! OBVIOUSLY he hasn't any courage, empathy or even responsibility. You probably already knew that. Please take comfort in your women friends...they'll sustain you! Sorry I'm not nearby or I could sustain you!
This might not register with you right now...but, it WILL in future! This is a bump in your road! It's a door which you WILL close. You'll get through it and you'll be stronger and HE NEVER DESERVED YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE! ((((((((HUGS))))))))
thank you! I appreciate that very much.
So sorry for your situation. I hope you can take comfort in having your son with you; although I'm sure this is affecting him as well. But the only person who can answer your questions is your husband, who seems to be afraid to confront you in person for some reason. perhaps when you do see him, it should be on neutral ground, without your son present so you can talk about why this is happening - since it seems you don't know, and you should.
thank you - i most certainly will not involve my son in this aspect of things. He'll have his own feelings and grief to navigate without me chiming in about mine.
No-one with any decency that's for sure.
Because he's a gutless SOB?
Check your bank records. He may be using your absence to empty your bank accounts.
@citronella thank you - i hadn't thought of that until someone else mentioned it here - i have taken care of that. I appreciate the thought.
@Moominmama first thing I did was close account and open new one
I am so sorry, that was callous and mean! At least you deserve an in person discussion and after the road trip. I'm so sorry for your pain.
I'm really sorry to read that, and if you feel like he went about it in a really shit way you're totally right - a text message is the way teenagers end two-week flings, not how an adult man ends a marriage.
I wish you all the very best. Stay strong.
thank you! that's what i thought - but i don't like to assume that 'my way' is 'the right' way - this feedback is very helpful.
In Arizona you can't even fire an employee via phone. What a coward, you are better off.
thank you! I can't believe it either really -
He is certainly not showing his son how to be a high character guy.
sad isn't it - i didn't mention it to him of course. maybe someday.
@Moominmama I raised my sons after my divorce. I'll share what i learned with you. When your ex turns out to be a POS then you be the kind of person your kids will want to emulate as adults. Also don't throw mud on your ex. He is already dirty. Making him muddier will only hurt your kids. Good luck with your future. I hope my words helped in some small way.
WTF?!? Unless there's a lot more to the story I can't think of a legitimate reason for this behavior.
there's always more to the story but nothing about me being unable to unwilling to address things or be a safe person for him to talk to.
@Moominmama I'm so sorry.
Congratulations. Given his operating style seems you will be better off.
i'm beginning to think that might be so - feelng sad, scared, but strong.
I'm sorry to hear that, it's just outright disrespectful, regardless of reason. No matter how I was frustrated in my prior marriage. I always said what I needed to face to face. I hope he explains himself, to do so like that is severely insensitive, regardless the reasoning.