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Well...after 9 years, my husband just broke up with me via text - the first day i was off on my annual mother-son road trip. Why would someone end a marriage via text?

Moominmama 4 June 11
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56 comments (26 - 50)

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3

I'm sorry to hear that 😟

3

Better off without him! My health got better after she left. Lost over 50 lbs really 50 + 270 she left!

i was thinking that might be a silver lining for me too 🙂 thank you.

3

Really hatin' that for you.
He did it via text because he is a fucking coward and couldn't bring himself
to do it to your face.
It hurts like hell, and sucks for now, but it WILL get better.
You're going to be okay. I really believe that, or I wouldn't have said it.
Try to enjoy the rest of your trip. You're starting a new chapter.
What better way than with a road trip with someone you love?
Safe travels!!!

thank you 🙂

3

First, I'm very sorry to hear that. That is such a huge event. He exhibited extremely bad form (and cowardice, as has already been mentioned) in texting you. And doing so while you were off vacationing with your son seems downright hurtful. His behavior says volumes about how much he has ever valued your relationship if he didn't even have the guts to end things in-person; very little. Again, very sorry to hear this. You have tons of moral support in this community. Use it. =]

thank you! it does seem just so childish / unnecessary (especially if you knew me and how kind and generous i am...) to not just address this directly. and really inconsiderate to do it the first day of my trip!! i'm in shock but i am getting the very consistent feedback here that my instinct that this was not okay/functional/appropriate is right and while i don't want to get caught up in right and wrong, it is helpful to hear that my sense that this should be a face to face conversation is right. I feel so old and out of touch with how things are done, i needed the reassurance. thank you.

3

Total cowardice. Find a lawyer with taxidermied testicles on her desk.

if only i had the nasty gene. i'm in the - i won't be a fool, but i don't want a battle camp. but clearly what i want isn't what always happens....

@Moominmama you don't have to have the nasty gene to hire an attorney like that. you need someone who is willing to ferociously guard you and your interests even when you are feeling too sad and defeated to do it yourself. You have a difficult road ahead, and you don't want to look back later and think, "I should've fought for that."

3

Text breakups are bad enough, but ending a marriage that way is unforgivable.

thank you - that was my gut instinct too - just nuts. like maybe a brief fling( a date or two) by text...but not this...

3

Wow, that is low. I bet this is a guy who specialized in avoiding conflict, right? My sympathy goes out to you. Bad enough to get the boot, worse to not hear it to your face. Good luck, sounds like he's doing you a favor even though it might not seem like it right now.

zeuser Level 9 June 11, 2018

thank you.

3

Because he's a coward.

3

It’s a dick move.

jab60 Level 6 June 11, 2018
3

What a coward

Simon1 Level 7 June 11, 2018
2

Probably a cheater and definitely a pathetic excuse for a human being. The signs were there long before the text. Don't beat yourself up...he's the asshole here.

thank you -

2

Do you normally have good communication with him? Like is this a sudden view of a completely hidden idea, or have you suspected that he was unhappy?

And, yes, enjoy your trip with your boys. Look after yourself. They need you more than ever. 🙂

thanks for the support and question - I have good communication. lol! meaning I have no trouble addressing things, but it's always been like pulling teeth to get him to share.

2

On the surface knowing only what is posted I would naturally agree... I also suspect some things may have been left out of the story. I would need more information and actual facts about your relationship and how things have been lately if I were going to take sides. Apply critical thinking to more than just religion... you seem nice, I wish you well... I would not do that... but you have a 9 year history and have posted a 5 line singular event.

yes, valid/ it occurred to me after posting that it would have been natural for some reading that to heathily wonder what our connection had been like and what my part in the dysfunction has been. this is out of left field and while i'm not perfect, i always addressed things directly...and did my best to show respect for him as well as for myself.

2

A coward ex wife did it in a letter as she snuck out of the house. Then called 2 days latter wanting to come back. I had time to look through the dedts she left. Still think she took alot of money hidding it.

i'm sorry that happened to you. such a betrayal isn't it!? a little respect and honesty should not be too much to ask.

@Moominmama we had just got back from weekend at her parents house the last night she stayed up with her parents bad mouthing me. Her dad said something to me and I started to tell what she had done he said did not want to hear it. I said of course never want the truth. Well goes to figure he cheated on his wife and played pussy husband never standing up to her and lied to ex saying she was born after they were married she 6 months old at wedding not even sure if dad is the biological dad. Her whole life her mom was telling her she a virgin when she got married. We found out the questioning on birth father when we needed her birth cert and found on it father unknown. Good christian people right! All liars in that family!

2

Right now you are in a world of pain anguish and confusion, once this fog has cleared you will see, he wasnt for you..or any other self respecting woman or parent. Whatever happened between you, he has declared to you and now indirectly to the world that he is a useless, week, crude little man with no class whatsoever, you can't see this now, but what a fortunate woman you are to have found this out, albeit in such a cruel and pathetic fashion.

thank you - i feel sad; a little scared...but i am strong, and i know this situation is not okay -

2

I'm very sorry that happened to you.
We are here for you.

thank you!

2

That's so uncool... 😟

2

From the very little that we know, he either just doesn't care, or he's a coward.

thank you

2

I am so sorry. This is a very cruel thing he did. I hope you have been able to salvage your time with your son. Your husband is not kind. I agree with others here; why would he do it this way, because he knows how wrong it is for him to time this with the first day of your annual mother son road trip and he is so ashamed of himself he can not even face himself, let alone you. in short he is a cowardly man. 

2

As several other people have said: He's a coward.
I'm so sorry you have to go through it.

2

Fear of a scene. My soon-to-be ex-wife left me a note and the divorce papers. A text is even worse. I’m sorry he did it that way. It’s really shitty.

Hermit Level 7 June 11, 2018
2

Because they're too afraid of a row.

2

Wow! I have no words.

1

Maybe it was the only way to get the message to you?

i've done a truckload of personal growth, and I'm a counsellor with 25 years on the job, i listen well and i am a safe person to share with - i don't judge and i never throw things in someone's face - i am giving and kind - so if he couldn't tell me he wanted to end things i don't believe it was about me. but it's a legit question, completely - given the miniscule data i gave you to work with.

1

He's made a decision , he is not going to allow you any say in the matter , he's gone .

yep - and i'd rather him not be with me if he's not happy - i believe in open hearted love, and i want what is best for him. if i'm not that i'll be okay - but it's the way he went about it that saddens me most.

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