Some of the 4th of July events that I will be avoiding this year:
The Vegan Picnic with Stevie Nicks
The Paul Revere Charity 5K Run (requiring the wearing of a powdered wig)
Any Revolutionary War field hospital re-enactments
The annual 4th of July parade of soccer moms wearing visors and capri pants
And (most importantly) I will be avoiding the end of the evening firework toss.
Have a safe and happy 4th of July celebration wherever you are and whatever you do today my friends! (And for my friends outside of the United States... just carry on as usual and ignore us.)