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Anyone else hate being the only one who doesn’t bow their heads and/or close their eyes when some prayer is said at a public gathering? I’m really not looking to make a protest out of it, but I de facto basically am by staring straight ahead and then it inevitably leads to looks and questions.

Cadelyn 5 July 9
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56 comments

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0

I have had my fills with things thatd some conotations of some form of some sort of religious context. usuall I don't mind, be it funerals, or wedings, Which I have no real problem with. I figure, to each i own. But as for bowing my head in some sort of religious content, I simply will not do that.

4

I'm never in that situation. Would those Christians feel bad if they abstained from participating in Muslim rituals? I doubt it.

Non participation does not equal protest. It equals being authentic.

4

I’m typically the only one. As for being tired of it, no. Just annoyed that I’m forced to put up with bs.

3

I keep my head up during the invocations at military functions. Made a few friends that way.

3

I careth not one bit. They do their thing, and I do mine.

3

I enjoy being the only one or looking around and seeing others.

3

Anyone who catches you must not have been closing their eyes either!!

The 'Eye Police' are watching......

3

Nah, I don't mind thinking about my grocery list or stuff I've got to do at work while they're praying to nothing.

3

Its a perfect opportunity for a mini meditation. Focus on your breathing. Breath slowly in through the nose and out through the mouth. Close your eyes but, leave your head up. Think only about your breathing. You can also think about positive affirmations as you do the exercise. This is actually the only way I pray. But you can call it whatever you want. Doesn't really matter.

I am not much of a meditator but I agree it’s best to try and make it an opportunity to do something useful. I try to get “big picture” with my thoughts and think about something important to me that gets swept aside by daily minutiae. Even if that is just reflecting on an experience I had recently, or trying to figure out which of the things I did that week will be most important to humanity in 100 years (if any)

@GTrex I have to admit meditation is a major part of my church liturgy, but I just don't do it as much as they recommend. Mini Meditations are my main form of meditation. It keeps me calm anyway, when I remember to do it. Long lines are another opportunity. A clear head is usually a positive thing.

3

I think of it as being able to see when everyone else is blind....literally and metaphorically.

2

What? Not follow protocol? What's wrong with you? That's the guilt trip laid down in a baptist family gathering. No, I will not hold hands in that prayer circle and I need everyone to know and accept it. I will just sit and observe while maintaining some sense of neutrality. Show love and respect but be you. It's your superpower.

2

If they can see you not bowing, then they are not bowing either. Don’t stress, maybe they don’t believe either.

2

I don't hate it at all. It's just a part of life. I don't try to make myself obvious -- looking around, eyes staring at the person across from me, fidgeting or anything like that. If it's a audible prayer, I'm quiet and respectful so I don't give anybody a reason to resent me. If it's someone bowing their head at the table and talking to their god to give thanks for the food I made them, I just keep doing what I'm doing - serving my plate, etc.

2

I don't hate being the only one who doesn't bow their heads. Shoud I follow along with believers just so no one notices? Do what feels right to you. Their judgement is their problem, not yours. Keep on being you.

Cinjar Level 5 July 10, 2018
2

It doesn't bother me. I don't give it that much thought. I don't pray, so I don't go through the motions. Who cares? It isn't defiance, or making a statement. It is just not participating in something that I don't do. No big deal, unless you make it one.

2

No don't hate it at all. Feel like I'm being rational.

2

I check my email.

2

If anyone sees you, then you are not the only one. If no sees you, what does it matter?

2

NO. I stopped closing my eyes and bowing my head decades ago - even when still claiming to be Christian.
I thought it was silly even then.

2

I guess it annoys me that I have to waste time while someone gets their ego filled, and that society expects me to honour their self absorption.
But it doesn't bother me that I'm the only one. I'm not around anyone who is curious or cares enough to even ask me about it.

2

who else is noticing, and how? it seems like if they caught you, you also caught them lol. I havent been to many events where it came up since deconversion except my grandmothers funeral. I noticed that the preacher doesnt bow his head, and i gave him the furtive look of bullshit detection that id like to hope read as “oh of course you don't because you take prayer/altar call time to practice your cold reading skills and figure out who you can guilt the hardest like any good con man would to spot the easy marks” and no questions were asked of me. Do you find its usually the pastor leading prayer that catches you or just other people out of the corner of their eyes? If youre trying to be less conspicuous and in this situation often maybe give a chin thrust as everyone else opens their eyes? Might give the illusion that you had just raised your head with them but personally I just try to avoid hanging out with large groups of pray-ers

2

Yes, it's an uncomfortable time for non-believers, but it's usually only a few moments. I respectfully lower my gaze a bit, but I don't bow my head or close my eyes. Not going to pretend I'm praying when I'm not. Kinda interesting to look around slyly to see if any others are looking similarly uncomfortable and give a smile and a wink. 😉

1

Does not annoy me at all. They have the right if they want, and I have the right not to do it.

1

I tilt my head a little just out of respect for my friends than anything else. But if I am at a place that I don't know anyone then I don't even bother to bow.

Lanx Level 4 July 10, 2018
1

I would never be disrespectful by speaking whilst they are praying, but I don’t close my eyes or bow my head.

1

I don't feel weird at all. Some people think I'm bowing my head. The reality is that I'm playing panda pop on my cell.

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