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Those of you previously married. How likely are you to marry again or are you put off completely?

antman 7 July 9

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26 comments

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0

I'm only separated but I don't plan to ever again be married. Technically 13 years today.

Oh geez, I’m Sorry. The anniversary that goes by during separation is terribly difficult.

@A2Jennifer I thought it was the best anniversary, but I might have had a worse marriage.

@Donotbelieve yes!

@Donotbelieve, @A2Jennifer it's all good. I've never been happier in my life. I'm a little lonely at times. But honestly it's worth it.

@chris26plus I’m glad - you are further along in the healing process than I was at that stage.

@A2Jennifer thanks. My healing process started before we separated. I've learned to love myself. Now, I'm backtracking and learning how to meet women and learn how to understand the world around me today. The dating process sure is different than 13 years ago. Lol

1

I had a terrific marriage (which was ended by cancer). I doubt I could expect such good fortune again. That said, my reasons for being less likely to marry again have little to do with my previous marriage, and a ton to do with the religious trying to own it.

Zster Level 8 July 10, 2018

Cancer is the cruelest disease,high hopes when it's discovered, not for a cure but a remission,to potentially have an extension of life,in my late wife's case,she smoked from High School,quitting about 36 years ago,I believe the stomach reduction surgery along with Cee-Dif lead to her demise,activating the dormant cancer in her lungs,spreading all through her body...

@Louise1920 My heartfelt condolences! C diff is a cruel buzzard. No one's ever deserved that!

@Zster It was a gallant but eventual losing fight, 13 months,with her passing away in our home,I've rented it out,it's too painful to stay there,so many memories.....

I also lost my husband to cancer 3 years ago. Although I wouldn't totally rule it out, I have no desire to remarry, but do not want to be alone either.

1

I'll take it a step farther, not only will I never marry again, I will also never cohabit with anyone. I'm not closing the door to a monogamous relationship, but I will never be legally bound to another person; nor will I ever share living space again.

How come?

That's what I'm looking for!!

@antman When I married my husband, I did so knowing that I was forfeiting my alone time (which I cherish). The trade off was worth it to me, because I felt we were building a life together. He struggles with depression and anxiety and refused to get help, and it finally took it's toll on the marriage. Now I'm left with the legal untangling and the loneliness as I re-acclimate to life alone. Once I achieve pre-marriage levels of peace and comfort, I will never trade those treasures for anything, ever again. I will be open to love, but not cohabiting; I will be open to commitment, but not a legal interference in my finances or real estate.

3

Nope nope nope and nope again. Doesn’t mean that I’m not prepared or looking for a committed emotional relationship - but will never entangle my domestic and financial life with anyone again. And if that means I die alone, so be it - I’ll be doing it on my terms.

PhilB Level 4 July 10, 2018

Exactly. I explained it like this to my current partner, "All marriage means is that I take half your shit if we decide to separate."

To be fair, I did not do that to my first husband and I am the nicest ex wife. Even his friends say so.

As soon as the kids are grown, though...

1

Maybe..if he had something I wanted..like great health insurance, a strong income stream, no debts, no ex or kids hanging around, liked to dance and go birding, loved to travel and hike, was my age, had my type background and education, etc.

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2

Probably not. I got literally NOTHING out of being married, so it’s not something I’m looking to repeat. I might be open to the possibility for the right person, in the right circumstances, but it’s definitely not something I have a personal drive to do.

0

I would gladly marry again. My ex-wife was horrible to me. It
became so bad that shortly after our divorce I was granted custody of my 5 year old son at the time.

Later I met someone on FB who was a friend of my sister. My sister died nearly 30 years ago. I believe I was conned into that relationship and if my sister had been alive she could have warned me. It was a nightmare.

I have other examples from my life which were horrible. But I still believe there is someone out there that I could be very happy with. So yes, I would marry again.

Living and dying alone is unnatural.

mdgme Level 3 July 10, 2018
0

Unlikely to marry again. Only married the first time due to legal issues with having children.

I feel like marriage is more of a religion based construct than something truly useful.

arnies Level 7 July 10, 2018
3

I have seen lovely, working, caring, marriages (my parents are on year 59...) and just because I didn't find that the first time, doesn't mean it isn't out there for me. I'd try again, with the right guy.

Holli Level 6 July 10, 2018
0

Twice is 2x too many!

3

I was married 34 years and have been divorced several years. I definitely want to marry again. There was a lot of good in my marriage, and I have no regrets.

UUNJ Level 8 July 10, 2018
5

My husband died 5 years ago. But I loved being married. We had a great marriage. I'd give it another shot.

1

There are certainly good reasons not to marry again but in the right situation and with the right person I would do it

1

I will never get married again and I've been proposed to a few times.

There's simply no need.

4

Married twice. 10 year long-term relationship following. Noreason for marriage. Just met someone here and we are starting something special.

0

Have been in two fairly long term marriages, first 10 years, second 17 years. At my age, no point. Would live with someone and share like a marriage.

0

I have no interest in it.

3

I was late to marriage,an old bachelor of 43,low paying jobs and rejections had me quit looking for many years time,only after getting a better paying job,was I able to actively do a wife hunt,so I ran an ad in a San Diego Ca. singles paper,my wife to be read it,called me up,we talked for it seemed a week, as she had the flu,we eventually met,dated and married 6 months later, I was her 3rd husband,she was my first wife.

I'm a very calm,peace loving Man,not drama in the 27 years we had together,the last year of her life,not so good for my poor wife,from her Cancer diagnosis to her passing was 13 months.the twist of fate was being told on our 26th anniversary August 23rd 2016. I was the dutiful husband,taking her to the Radiation,and later Chemotherapy,but it was too little,too late.

Yes I'd marry again,to have the other person in your life,as support,share ideas,enjoy doing couple things,eating out,sharing how the day went, I miss shopping with her,and the road trips we did....

1

Definitely not put off completely.

But, not eagerly seeking it either.

0

It'll be a long time before I do it again, if ever.

1

I have learned to never say never. Eating those words can leave a terrible taste in ones mouth.

0

I don't believe I will ever marry again especially at my age.

1

I'm not put off - marriage is good for some folks. But I no longer see a need to be married to anyone for a relationship to be solid.

1

I see no need for it. It's possible, if I'm mutually head over heels for years first. Highly unlikely though.

0

Yeah. I'm done. No need to get married. It's just paper. I learn from my mistakes.

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