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How important are someone's writing skills when communicating online? Does the person's writing style affect how you view them? Does it affect how you perceive them in terms of starting a relationship with them?

I admit to being a grammar snob, after years and years of research writing and teaching/tutoring/proofreading. However, online I do relax a little and try to just enjoy conversations without worrying too much about whether someone uses "your, you're" correctly. Unless the writing becomes difficult to understand (anything from extreme pedantic mambo jambo to childish babble), I just assign someone's writing style as part of their uniqueness.

graceylou 8 July 17
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42 comments

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1

Glad you relax here, I'm dyslexic and can't write for shit. But I do try and communicate ideas that are important to me although sometimes I find it hard to express those ideas precisely. Maybe I can hire you to coach me. πŸ™‚

I worked with students with learning difficulties in the past. I understand writing can be a challenge for some. We can’t always assume level of education or intelligence. I can help but not for hire.

8

I'm a big fan of wit. Too bad I've only got a half.

I might own the other half.

@graceylou we should get together, and then we'd have a fully functional brain! Or 20 Fox News watchers.

@MrBeelzeebubbles A meeting of minds? Do any Fox News Watchers have any brain matter at all to get together with other of the same to make a functional brain? Love your name by the way.

7

If someone is clearly showing a complete lack of concern for how they communicate it bugs me, but I don't judge too harshly for minor errors or typos.

5

I'm pretty snobby too. I like writing properly and have mild anxiety attacks when I misspell words or miss a punctuation mark.

5

I still text people in complete and full words and sentences. My friends would probably shit themselves if I wrote "how r u?"

How someone writes --- the words they choose and their grammar ---- can give a fairly accurate picture as to education level and attention to detail.

I always want to ask what they do with all the time they've saved by not spelling out "you" and "are"

@GwenC Right?? I mean, is it that hard to type 1 or 2 more letters in the same amount of time?

I text complete sentences too.

I mean, there are word suggestions when texting and they still choose the wrong words.

4

English is chaos anyway: [ncf.idallen.com]

4

From the great James Earl Jones, "We as humans are blessed with the gift of language. It is something that I try to perfect that as much as I can".

4

I'm split on this. As a former grammar enthusiast after several things came to pass I've relaxed over someone's writing skills.

  1. reading the internet has influenced, destroyed my spelling & grammar.
  2. People's reactions to me IRL seem different vs online (wish i was a better writer, can be brutally blunt)
  3. Having met and had many conversations on the phone with various people excellent writing skills don't always translate either, for the worse too.
  4. My kid has to be on the dyslexic spectrum, she has issues spelling but can make a point in writing like no one's business. Yet in person, her verbal skills are no where near her writing ability. She's VERY SHARP but you'd never know that in a conversation if you didn't see her composing a thought. It's like there's a physical barrier between her mouth & thoughts.
Qualia Level 8 July 17, 2018
4

I prefer to read something that has structure and punctuation.
Some stuff I can look past - especially if it's being used intentionally.
"I can has cheeseburger?" for instance.
I'm not a fan of ALL CAPS ALL THE TIME.
Some typos I can get past, but one real turn off is "alot".


Allie Brosh
[hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com]

scurry Level 9 July 17, 2018

Love hyperbole and a half. I remember this one.

3

Absolutely, but within reason. I make those mistakes, too, and I have a JD. Conversely, I know plumbers who have impeccable writing. Being good with words is an attractive feature, no matter who it is. Otherwise, I just try to focus on what anyone is trying to say, but, yeah, it's an issue if you can't figure that out. When it comes down to it, I'd rather deal with someone who is well-intended with writing flaws than a douche with perfect spelling.

3

Yes, if there are a lot of errors, its a turn off for me.

3

Text speak is a nope , to many emoticons also a nope ...the odd spelling mistake is fine but to many a nope . Writing half a sntence then pressing the return key can be annoying .
Im sure there should be a too in that paragraph but its late .

Simon1 Level 7 July 17, 2018
3

Typos happen. Bad grammar makes my skin crawl.
Worst offenders: "I seen this in the store", "I should of done that".

3

Minor errors and typos, within reason, are fine. Poor grammar, all caps, weak sentence structure is a no-go. Poor writing = poor thinking = not interested. This is especially true in a profile, where the person has time to think about it.

And to go back and correct it.

2

Hmmm.....

Prescriptive Grammer vs Descriptive Grammer
=
English Teachers vs Noam Chomsky

Naom Chomsky, hmmmm....

Noam Chomsky is the Father of Modern Linguistics.....hmmmm...

I know what side I'm on! What side are you on?

Etre Level 7 July 18, 2018

That would be Chomsky not Chompsky.

@graceylou

Such a prescriptive grammerist!!! I thought Naom was Hungry!!?

@Etre I’m sure you’ve heard of Nim Chimpsky.

@graceylou

I had a couple classes in linguistics under a 1st generation Chompsky. Amazing classes, I was quite honored. I have a total different perspective on languages and consciousness.

@Etre One of my university majors was in Linguistics.

@graceylou

French/Acting.... but i was leaning torward linguistics.... Classical Voice got me into the French Language. I worked with about 6 different languages while studying Classical Voice.

@Etre I see. I love learning languages. English is my third language actually. I learned Dutch as my second language. It’s my father’s first language. I learned French in grade school/high school and Spanish in university, also Shuswap which is an indigenous language. I’ve learned some Egyptian Arabic for dance.

@graceylou

You understand human communication!! Languages,words, etymology, human consciousness and how we communicate using symbols, abeit verbal and non verbal. I did not finish my BA, but I rearch on a daily basis. I hope to finish my language studies before I pass. My French Is basic, and it is my favorite language to sing in. Though I am not singing in the Classical style. Have not had a voice coach since 2011. I truly miss it. I truly miss it!!

Music is the Universal language.

French is the only language I have studied, a little Spanish growing up in Texas. I have a nack for languages and understanding how they evolve.

2

I am all over misspelled words and grammar droppings.

Observing that a person has no clue about the difference between "then" and "than" sucks me down the hole.

The clarity of knowing that the writer is not able to construct a coherent "if-then" sentence makes me wet.

What more can we actually expect? Better make the most of it.

JacarC Level 8 July 17, 2018

Are we discussing grammar or something else? Or may be I just have a filthy mind.

@graceylou I am sure you do not have a filthy mind.

2

Poor writing shows slovenliness to me. The way a person writes reflects much about them, therefore poor writing does turn me off.

2

If I'm getting to know someone through an online forum, the way they write is very important. I don't mind a few grammatical or spelling errors, because I do them too sometimes, but it still has to make sense. The manner in which someone writes is also important to me -- I much prefer colloquial, anything stylized or esoteric is kind of off-putting. I someone is funny or quirky, that's fine, again as long as I can understand what they're saying, or they're able to clarify if I ask them. I hope people write the way they talk! -- Especially if it's someone I may want to eventually meet.

2

Since I am back in school as an English major, context and grammar are very important to me. It does make a difference, because it tells me a person's ability to carry on a conversation with some intellect.

2

Being able to understand the other person is essential. If they are illiterate and use too many hashtags or emojis or cannot spell it does lower my perception of them. Especially when using "ghetto" rhetoric or language.

2

Sounds like a prescriptive grammerist with a heart!!

Etre Level 7 July 17, 2018

Shhhhhh. Don’t give away the secret. Heart? What heart?

2

You've seen some of my comments. I'm verbose and I'm kind of a grammar snob. I'm usually willing to compromise on technical correctness and concern for correct language use in the name of clarity, and I learned a long time ago that other people do not put the same (potentially excessive and neurotic) care into developing and maintaining the tools of communication, and that's perfectly fine. Not everyone wants to write for a living.

I often get accused of being pedantic or condescending or talking over people's heads because I have an extensive and academic vocabulary, and I try to use the correct word to express a thought rather than adaptive-engineer a semantically awkward phrase to serve the same purpose. It's almost never a conscious choice, it's just my native language. That said, I love idiosyncratic expressions and colloquialisms as a linguistic tool.

As for how much it affects my perception of others: i regard myself as sapiosexual, i find intelligence incredibly attractive. But even intelligence is a vague and open-ended concept.
I've seen people who can barely read at a 4th grade level but can disassemble, fix, and reassemble cars or electrical equipment like it's what they were specifically put on this Earth to do, and I've seen people who rate higher on the genius scale than I do who can't give a five-minute oral presentation to their bosses without an emotional support person in the room with them to prevent freeze-outs. The more time I observe people the more I realize the sheer variety of intelligences that exist. It's more about how the brain works than what the brain does. Spelling and grammar end up being secondary to clarity of communication and just the particular way the mind approaches ideas and issues.

Yes. I agree with your points. My background is in academia on the graduate student level but I consider some who have never even finished college to be more intelligent than I am. There are better problem solvers. There are those who can navigate the real world more efficiently and effectively than I can. There is more to a person than the person’s language. Some write with perfect grammar and clarity, and use big words. But their egos are sickening, and that’s a huge turn off.

@graceylou I often worry if I'm that guy sometimes without meaning to be. I have a tendency to overexplain a point before I make it, and sometimes I feel I have to do it because if I just make my point what I'll say will be perceived as inflammatory unless I walk through a step-by-step recreation of the logic process that brought me to arrive at the point.

2

well as long as you don't right like that idk ttyl lol and so on im fine if theres typos or little mistakes cause i must admite my writing online and in real life is not the same i cut corners online but aply my self in life

2

If I can understand it, it’s not important. I work with a menagerie of cultures and people. I get the honest pleasure of working with so many people with English as a second language. I only correct them if they ask, otherwise I ignore the grammar and spelling mistakes whether verbal or written (emails). If a native English speaker uses a word wrong I’ll correct them if it’s important; however, online it’s petty, patronizing, and just mentally taxing to constantly correct people.

Technically English is my second language, actually third, possibly fourth. I get that someone who’s first language isn’t English might write with errors but I find native speakers are just as bad. I don’t correct people unless I’m asked to proofread or I’m grading assignments.

@graceylou native speakers develop slang and dialects within their language. I know people who talk one way, but write other ways. Also casual vs professional environments a role. Social media that isn’t representing a professional source isn’t worth correcting. I won’t judge them for being themselves. Plus not everyone has access to the same education.

2

content over style i think

weeman Level 7 July 17, 2018
2

It also irks me when i see simple mistakes, especially on facebook. Usually ill overlook something like that,as long as theyre a good man.

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