Me too! Congratulations to you for making it!

Yes my family were all abusive my mother bi-polar mainly manic my father unreachable and depressed from his war years and sexually abusive . I had very bad dissociative Identity disorder .I am now in my later years and feeling a lot better but I don't fit into my society in any way, shape or form - and even though I am a person centred counsellor it feels like something I do in a vacuum and that there are too many vacuums. I really don't 'get ' people especially their limitations.

I was lucky in the sense that I was able to confront all of my abusers before they died - it wasn't a long list consisting only of my step-mother, biological father and two foster fathers. I received apologies from all but one and since he's died I got closure via the fact that I now know why I'll never receive the call I long hoped for - dead people can't dial a phone. And so for me the memories of the specific acts of abuse faded relatively quickly. Now the issue I'm facing is playing the "what ifs game". My 51-year old brother died a year ago - I am facing several health issues of my own, I'm being forced to confront my own mortality and I'm only turning 51 next month. As I am maneuvering through this process I wonder often - far more than I care to admit - what if? There's an old saying that it takes 18-years to get over the first 18-years. That proved far more accurate than I'd care to admit. And so it's natural to wonder - what if none of that had happened? What if I had been taken in by nurturing foster parents? What if I had not suffered any of the abuse? As I worked the baggage I hurt a lot of people, made a ton of stupid decisions that dramatically impacted the course of my life and other decisions that will quite likely cause an end to my life. Considering the person I am today - in terms of patience, ability to rationally solve problems and so on - what if I had been given a fair chance? Life is a one off - some are dealt an ace - some get the joker and that just sucks - it makes life a cruel sick joke. I don't think about the specific acts of abuse - I don't have flashbacks and I don't have nightmares but the "what if" game I am playing can be just as traumatic.

To this day I don’t take kindly to men who try to take a domineering stance with me or back me to a wall or corner. I will seek an opening. I have found forgiveness for my stepdad and can even look favorably toward military men before passing judgement. Largely because my bio dad was able to apologize to me for his own absense and thereby open my eyes to what my real problem was: a fear of abandonment. Before that point, I feared I could become abusive like my stepdad but the apology somehow wiped that issue from my heart (weird, I know, but true). Somehow the experience does seem to have brought me to my current job which does primarily work with abusers, in an effort to stop their form of abuse.

I came from a family that went from being filthy rich to bankrupt in 9 months. I already had a moderately abusive dad so that shit didn't help at all. Add roids with bankrupcy and you get your ass beaten alot. It lead me to a downward spiral of drug abuse and suicide attempts I barely made it out of. 10 years clean now of drugs, fyi, but the feelings never leave. Some days I still wake up wondering if I'll ever be happy again or if these demons are gonna catch up and consume me.

Even after years of therapy, and having made my peace with it, there are still
times when I can't even talk about it.

My father was very abusive to me physicaly and mentally. Finally at 16 after a rather bad one, I walked to my room, packed some stuff in a bag.
I walked right by him and said 'You no longer have a son.
That was the last time I ever saw him.
I was lucky though, my aunt and uncle took me in.

It was very liberating, but to this day every some times I still have nightmares.
On a good note though, My mom divorced him over that.
a few years later when I got to meet my mother again, and we bonded.
We've been very close ever since.

I do. I wasnt abused but my father abused my sister. It does still affect me, mainly in the sense that I see how it has affected my sister and what she goes through. I guess I've dealt with it as much as I can but the implications of what he did are still felt in my family.

Did an inner child class. Helped me forgive and move on.

No, I seem to be one of the lucky ones.
My respect goes to you folks who have had to overcome such things.

I don't think I will ever entirely get over it. I have learned to deal with it and was able to break the cycle by not abusing my children. I still have nightmares occasionally and still can't stand to be around violence.