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Can men and women just be friends? Age-old and cliche rhetoric...
I am looking for people to hang out with and probably not ready for a romantic relationship after a recent divorce. I'm literally going to meetup.com looking for people to hang out with. Can you do stuff with members of the opposite sex as friends?

UrsiMajor 8 July 31
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81 comments (51 - 75)

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2

I remember a very passionate man from Russia once telling me that friendship is impossible if there is sexual attraction. A French lady taught me otherwise many years later and some Chinese ladies made the question appear quite ludicrous.
Turn the question around and ask whether lovers can be friends.
In this question there is a religious undertone. Friendship becomes idealized almost immaculate.
Consequently sex potentially tarnishes the friendship. It is not the sex but the way we perceive sex as a claim to ownership thus the feelings of jealous when that friend also has sex with others.

2

I think this captures it.

These are just kids not really men or women....all that is called for is a little maturity

Why does the possibility of having sex or having had sex preclude being friends? The fact that if the woman wanted sex at some point does not mean you could no longer be friends does it? And many of the women have friends that they don’t have sex with, even though they could, meaning the guys are not pushing it either. Are female friends less friends just because at some point in time you could have a sexual relationship with them too?

1

I used to think no but life has shown me differently. Now I would say that if anything I find the intellectual company of women much more agreeable than that of men straight or gay. The whole premise of the question is a bit hetro centric anyhow. I think a more considered mature world is much more fluid than that

0

Yes, I had a freind who was a woman, and we were quite happy as such. I have a lot of female freinds in my religious organization, but not on a sexual level.

0

Yes, I had a freind who was a woman, and we were quite happy as such. I have a lot of female freinds in my religious organization, but not on a sexual level.

0

Yes, I had a freind who was a woman, and we were quite happy as such. I have a lot of female freinds in my religious organization, but not on a sexual level.

1

Yes, I had a freind who was a woman, and we were quite happy as such. I have a lot of female freinds in my religious organization, but not on a sexual level.

1

Absolutely.

1

My two best friends are women. One I have known and been friends with for forty years.

1

Most of my friends are female. In fact, I don’t have any real male friends at this time. I used to, but circumstances changed and I don’t now. I have remained friends with most of my past girlfriends as well as wives, but that isn’t a requirement. So I vote yes!

1
1

Yes.

1

Sure. I am mainly friends with gay men - have no idea why that is the case, but I do have a couple of straight male friends where there is zip attraction. None. ? platonic.

Livia Level 6 Aug 11, 2018
1
1

Of course. haven't you ever? i have always had friends of both genders (and some fluidly gendered people too). i don't fall in love with people just because they're there or available.

g

1

Of course they can. I have ex-girlfriends who are still great friends of mine, not all but most, my ex-wife is still a friend, our divorce was very civilized, we always keep in touch even though she lives in Boston and I in WPB, Florida, our daughter studies in Montreal. I admit it was my fault, I had a one night stand in one of my constant trips overseas, this lady would not stop sending me emails and I was dumb enough to reply to all of them, and even though I never saw the woman in person ever again, my wife found the emails. Stupid mistake that ruined a 10 year marriage, but I did apologize profusely for all the hurt and recognized and accepted that it was my fault. Perhaps that is why we have always kept in touch, both of us remarried. You live and learn from your mistakes.

0

Yes and no.
Yes I can be only friend and in general I won't reject more than that, but is not always that I will work for this something extra. Most of times friendship is what we need atm.

3

Depends on the guy and what he wants. For any kind of relationship to work, both people have to agree. If the guy is constantly angling for more, then no. If the woman is shutting down his ability to have an intimate relationship with a different woman, than no. Both are the cliche things that happen...

If they agree, then sue.

2

All the time. If we didn't have friends of both sexes we wouldn't be able to get along and work. Would be like Muslims. Friends can occasionally be attracted to one another, but we get along with lots of friends all day long.

2

I wish you all the best. I'm sorry that it's not given for you that the answer is yes. All it takes is genuine people.

Stig Level 5 Sep 26, 2018
2

Absolutely! I get along better with men. Even as a kid I preferred hanging with the boys.

2

Of course. I do it all the time. In fact, mostly all the time. My friends around me locally are just that. I'm also on a chat site.These chatters are from San Diego, Tahoe, San Clemente, etc. etc. Not to be confused with a dating site where people of the opposite sex actually touch. My local peeps sing karaoke at different venues. That's all we do!!

3

For sure! I have plenty of guy friends who are nothing but guy friends.

1

yes but if Im not dating them, I'd prefer to hang with my gf's and my gay male mates

2

When I lived in Europe that question did not exist in all minds. I had many friends; both men & women. Here, in immaturity land, Christian country, that is a valid question that neither men nor women know the answer to?

Atlas Level 3 Feb 9, 2019
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