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This is a major rant about men not reading profiles.

I am here for dating and I have an issue about men messaging me without first reading my profile. I may not be everyone's cup of tea but I put some effort in what I write, it's not a bunch of nonsense. I am very direct and I state clearly and deliberately who I am, what I do, what I want, what I have to offer and what I am looking for. I also state that these things are very important to me. I don't know what other people do in their single profiles but simply I feel I need to do this as I am really sick of the BS that appears in my inbox. I'm getting messages from men who are clearly not reading and when they are prompted to, don't care what I want or what I am looking for.

For instance. I state I am a Liberal, and am even into activism. I am even shown in one of my pics wearing a pink pussy hat. I state that I am not interested in Republicans, Conservatives or believers, yet, I get lots of messages from Republicans who message me, (and in the last few cases their political stance is not stated in their profile). Who just don't care, in fact laugh and act surprised when I ask "how do you lean politically?" It sometimes takes several messages to get to the fact that they are registered Republican and that they voted for Trump.They arec vactually hiding it from me, lol. This has even been kept hidden until a first meeting. Why in the world would someone think I would want to date a Republican when I say clearly I do not? Why are these guys wasting my time and theirs?

There's more, Also I have guys go on and on about how I am charming and how they are attracted to me and yet I see nothing in their profile or in the conversation that indicates that we have anything in common. Does it matter to these guys? apparently nope. They think because they are into me that it must translate to that I will also be into them. Fuck the profile, who reads those things anyway? Right?! You are cute, so it doesn't matter what you want. Lol! Ladies, does this sound familiar?

But there's more, I identify as Sapiosexual, it's stated. I have guys, "lol!" at this, that it must be a joke and what is the big deal about shared interests? I'm serious, this is happening. It reminds me of the Xtians, Catholics, and believers on POF and OK Cupid. They act this way. They do not care that you state that you can't stand believers. That you have no interest in them. They are going to message you anyway. I don't know, maybe they think they still have a chance to fuck you, or that you will send them pictures, or phone sex. I think, they think that if they can get your # and at the very least they can send a dick pic. Is shared interests even a thing with men anymore? Are they just browsing pretty pictures of women they want to troll, or do they just want online sex?

I have even had men ask me "what do you do for a living?", or If they happened to read the first sentence, "I'd like to see more of your work". I'm like really? It's all there! It's in my profile. 😟 I really feel like I am getting disrespected and am dumbfounded by the lack of intelligence and effort from some of the single men here.

CaroleKay 8 Aug 4
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86 comments

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0

Another example of the insanity of "on-line" "dating."

What is especially annoying is so many profiles start with “Read my profile and write something wonderful, or else, GO AWAY!”

I find that really attractive. What man wouldn't? Raise your hands to disagree.

How can a conversation begin if the expectations of immediate success preclude its starting?

Too many of these women are in a hurry. They expect all the conversations that would happen in the workplace, social places,… over days, weeks, months, years, to be condensed into the first message, or else they do not respond.

I know using dating sites can help with filtering the ne’r-do-wells. Sorta like Manpower, and other employment agencies. But, most disturbing, they restrict the odd bumping into at a party, social event, museum, restaurant, where the first words are usually, “Hello.” "Do you come here often?" No profile, no history, no clarity of what is expected.

I understand the urgency, especially at my age. But, hurriedness most often results in mistakes. And missed happinesses.

A simple, "Hello," is a reasonable opening move.

Mmmaybe we wouldn't have to tell a guy to read our profile and write a few sentences if we didn't get "Hello" from a dozen or more guys a day who did NOT read the profile, and in fact could care less? Like, maybe, acknowledge that you might have to do something different to differentiate yourself?

@LionMousePudding Pay attention:::: You are asking too much from most of us. How is that not perfectly clear by now?

All the messages provide you with evidence of the superiority of women, (Please use all those messages as the basis of your next novel).

Most of us know how completely incompetent we are. This we do not dispute when alone. But it takes significant intoxication for any of us to reveal these thoughts to any other human.

I do applaud your response. And I agree that if more women were more vigilant teaching their male children how to behave the someday "all is well" will come sooner to Humanville.

@Jacar even males being assholes is WOMEN'S fault?

@Jacar You are not even here for dating, You are a douchey married man looking for hookups. Hahaha! You are that guy I am talking about. You are the problem. You should speak for yourself. I am positive a lot of men on this site would prefer to not align with a douche-bag such as yourself. Since you are speaking for all men, I'll speak for all women. Yes. Go away, we don't want you.

@LionMousePudding He can't do anything differently to differentiate himself from the others. He is that guy, lol!

@LionMousePudding Just sayin, children are around women more. So why do boys grow up to be shits? Do you think it is innate? if so, then we have no control. I think that is partially correct.

To be clear, you posted a missive about how the men sending you messages are pretty much meat sticks on legs, with no ability to read for comprehension, nor to act as instructed. I am in total agreement with that.

Whose "fault" is that? I blame it mostly on evolution.

Men do stuff differently than women because men are different than women. Can't get more basic than that, don't ya know.

@Jacar no. It is because FATHERS do not teach their sons to be decent people.

@LionMousePudding Yeah. I agree. All of my comments support this. But, women need to do more.

"LionMousePudding" reminds me of the stories in "Mouse soup, which i been reading and enjoying for all our grandchildren.

And: Although we still are compared at only %58, i feel closer to you every interaction.

Thanks for not giving up on us.

@LionMousePudding, @CaroleKay Learn how to read for comprehension........ That was taught in second grade.

Learn how to behave:::
You know NOTHING about me. To attack me demonstrates your ignorance. NOT your reason, or any type of clear thinking. Do you really think you will learn anything from anyone who thinks and talks like you have to me?

"Young" is the only excuse for you spewing.

AND::: learn how to laugh when humor is presented to your face.

@Jacar Oh I'm not reading any more of your garbage. I can't believe I didn't block you sooner. Bye Felicia 😀

@CaroleKay Carole I'm sensing some Latent lesbianism here.

2

Wow! Well I'm not here for dating and in fact held off joining this site for a while thinking it was only a dating site so I specifically don't check out profiles (unless hit by mistake by my big thumbs, now where am - and how do I get back to where I was again). However I must check out your profile because I've never seen a pink pussy hat, especially someone wearing one lol. Io don't understand the my genders need to send dick picks, or even spend a moment to get to know about someone first. So I will wish you luck and hopefully guys will understand your very legitimate opinion.

Not what I was expecting lol not even sure what I was expecting though, I just had to know lol.

Lol! It's just a pink hat with cat ears. Feminists of all genders wear at them at protest events especially those that affect women's issues and of course, Women's Marches. Thank you. My politics are important to me. I appreciate your input.

@CaroleKay ah we have 300 people where I live and I have been on a few walks here but never seen or heard of one. Likely we are just too far out of the way. How shall I Google that for, um limited results to just that hat.

@CaroleKay so I asked my younger fem friend and got the low down. We Don't have many Trump problems here in Canada so I was out of the loop.

@Wahker Lucky you. I envy your location right now.

7

My theory is (and a few guys on here have somewhat confirmed this theory), that most men don't know what sapiosexual is, are not interested in looking it up, and assume you are into kink.

Hihi Level 6 Aug 4, 2018

I have had this theory for a while - not just from your post.

That makes complete sense! Haha! What dumbasses! That's gold!

Xoxo ❤

There is a cultural phenomenon amongst white males, that they can fake intelligence just by knowing a couple of buzz words and lying about everything. It isn't just Trump that does this. I see it all the time with coworkers.

0

I sent you a message stating I'd read your profile and thought we had some things in common; and encouraged you to read my bio if you had any interest. I thought it was a nice, polite message, but I never heard a peep from you, not even so much as a "Sorry, not interested." Just saying...

Hi, I got called to a job I'm currently working 11 1/2 hour days six days a week. today was supposed to be my only day off and I took another side job. I really need to work.I did edit my profile and mention that I'd be unable to answer messages that was over a week ago, if you care to take a look, sorry I didn't get back to you. I also mention that I have a crazy schedule I wouldn't take it personally. It's one of those things maybe you'd want to read it again.
Just saying...

Also, I'm at work right now I just had to stop to let glue dry and have lunch but I don't see any messages from you. I am a greeter and sometimes messages get buried. There is a site glitch and sometimes the messages don't go through, just want you to know that if you want to message me go ahead and send another. I'm a little confused as your profile states you are here for community and is missing some of the details those open to dating would have. You shouldn't jump to conclusions. I was never not interested and I just didn't see any message.

@CaroleKay thank you for clearing that up. I wish you well.

@kjsgenie Thank you, I guess some people require more attention than we care to give them. Also, I'll admit, I was dumbfounded by the comment.

2

Strong women are captivating. Maybe they have nothing in common with you, yet ….
Disclaimer: I skimmed through this post too. But I still think you are neat.

Lol! Definitely and you too. I sometimes don't read long posts either, but it's cool. We're not dating. 😀

She is seriously one of the coolest women on here. So much so I couldn't not follow her.

@Qualia I love you! ❤ Likewise!

@CaroleKay I love you too Carole. ❤ You deserve all the good (((( hugs )))

2

There is one problem: Thousands of horny guys looking to get laid. It does not matter to them if you are going to pray or blasphemize during sex. They want to cum. Often we paste pre-written paragraph and do not read profiles because we get so few responses. I find that I have to sent 200 responses to get 20 conversations and get laid once. If I am lucky. I do value brains, but I did have terrific sex with totally dull partner. Brains are for the steady partners. And I cannot help it, we have the best president since Kennedy and being Helllary liberal is on opposite side of being cerebral. Liberalism is a brain disease. ArizonaJerry

Gross. You are that guy, that doesn't sound very smart or like it's working for you and yet you are surprised when you don't get responses, lmao! You must have been dropped on your head at birth.

@CaroleKay Aw c'mon! He's a keeper!

2

I have looked at your profile and think that you are incredibly talented, well above average intelligence, and quite attractive. You are probably a bit more liberal than I, but I WAS a Bernie delegate at the Democratic Caucus in 2016. And I wouldn't dream of messaging you.

Of course, being HFA, socially awkward, and haven't been on a date in 46 years and haven't the slightest clue how the hell it is done nowadays might have a bit to do with my shyness.

And for the record, "quite attractive" is ~= "gorgeous"

I just didn't want to muddy the water with superlatives

Just like that. ❤ That's how you get dates.

4

Well first let me say that As a man, I would like to apologize for those of my gender who cannot read! As a liberal with many conservative, Trump loving family members, not to mention religious, let me quickly point out that any form of respecting others beliefs by either of these groups is completely alien to their thinking process. In fact, from interactions on Facebook, most of them consider Liberal baiting to be a great sport! As a man, I truly believe that the need to force your opinions on others is less common among women, but I have run into what appear to be female trolls. With online, you can never be sure who you are getting regardless of pictures and names. As long as you read their profiles and scour their posts and comments before responding, you should be able to get some sense of their political leanings as well as their philosophy and beliefs. I generally try to do that before I message someone, though sometimes a person will catch my interest by something they post and I just want to say hi or perhaps get a private clarification of something said or posted. Dating is kind of like a swamp, you have to navigate through all the alligators, snakes, and mosquitos to get to the good spots on the other side.

Seriously, I think you hit the nail on the head.

@CaroleKay By the way, your sculptures are awesome! And you are a great looking lady. Don’t let the slime get you down!

@Barnie2years Thank you, you are very kind.

4

Wow, I hope you feel better. I hope you have better luck finding a decent guy - we are out there.

And those republican dudes that are afraid to say they are republican because they are having a VERY hard time finding anyone willing to date their sorry butts!

CS60 Level 7 Aug 13, 2018

Thank you, so true!

Yeah every time I see "politically middle of the road" i think it's code for "i vote for woman-hating policies but im hoping to get laid before you figure that out."

@Emerald That's so true!

0

I didn't have a chance 5read your profile, but can we get together? ?

@CaroleKay Awww....I'm swooning.

@Secretguy No, I would say you're blocked. Thanks for narrowing the pool! 😀👍

1

Just curious what is Sapiosexual?

[lmgtfy.com]

@rogeralyn That's a huge part of the problem, and you are correct.

2

YES! Exactly! ♥

Good article.

3

You are NOT alone in this.
Men tend to connect only with their eyes.
And HOW DARE YOU not be grateful for any form of attention.
After all, you aren't getting younger! You should just go ahead and settle now...

arrgggghh.

Why I have no photo in my profile.

I adore you. ❤ XOXO.

2

Men!

They must be related to women...

skado Level 9 Aug 4, 2018

Lol! I hope that makes sense to you. 😀

@CaroleKay
Just saying I get the same thing from women. I think it's just a human thing. A large percentage of humans just go for what they think they want, without regard for how it might make anybody else feel.

4

Men where given two heads but only enough blood to operate one at a time and they usually use the head without a brain. That being said, yes, I think some guys just try to get in enough to have sex or send a dick pic.

You do amazing work. I hope that you find the person that you're looking for.

Thank you.

@CaroleKay You're welcome.

9

Hasn't the Trump administration demonstrated how much Republican's don't care about facts?

You have a very good point.

45 supporters are the new Irish, facts won't sway them in the face of a higher Truth.

3

Men are strongly Visual, and tend to be quite impulsive.
Maybe you should consider becoming a lesbian? (Only partially kidding....trying to force an entire "species" to be completely different seems like a tough road to travel....)

LMAO...

Considering, but I do like the dick. 😀

1

I think I will head on over and read your profile

Phin Level 6 Aug 5, 2018

Very cool profile, I was going to call you out on your “o.” misspellings but when I got the end I totally understood ( why does this site do that?). Your work is fucking awesome by the way, no I see why you get upset when people want to see your work, as if they haven’t already. I would like to follow you as I enjoy interacting with interesting and smart people.

I edited, it's easier to read and hopefully, the glitch has been fixed.

1

After reading this post, and reading your profile, I just had to say something. I think what I've gotten from it, is a better understanding of how I need to structure my bio. When it comes right down it I just don't think that I'm a typical guy. I'm sapiosexual, or at least I look for relationships where their common interests and shared intelect. I'm straightish or heteroflexible, I'm a switch and don't play well with dominant guys, or dominant women for that matter but I also don't feel that I'm submissive. I tend to side with feminists, a left-leaning centrist. I'm married leaning towards relationship anarchist kitchen table polyamory. I'm an a anti-theist agnostic student of shamanism.

There quite a few other tags I could probably add in there but that in itself rules me out in the books of most women on dating sites. Of all of them I think OKC's probably the best because of the in-depth profile maker and questions that are offered up to be answered. I don't really know what I'm trying to say here other than that I am empathize with your position.

Thanks so much for your response.

Sorry it took so long to see it.

1

I feel you on this and understand completely, why would any free thinker or liberal date a Trump supporter lol, I think some men are completely ignorant and think they may change you, I hate to say this but in my experience a lot of conservative, right wing men can be misogynistic and think it's normal because I work with some! Just ignore them or block them the best you can, and hopefully you'll meet someone more compatible with your beliefs and passions ☺

Thank you, very well stated.

3

As rants go yours is pretty good, all the more impressive because there aren't many swear words in it. It's also a shame that the blokes this is about aren't the ones who are replying, we all get it lol

I've only had one guy, and I'm not into guys, who was interested in oral sex. Now I will grant you that I don't specifically say I'm not interested in oral but it does say 'here for community', I can only think community to him means a blow job? And besides my idea of oral does not involve the male todger of another bloke.

Still I think the ladies get a lot more ignorance than us guys so maybe a blocking frenzy is in order, I also haven't looked up sapiosexual but I will at some point, but the chances of us going on a date etc are somewhere around zero so it doesn't matter what it means lol

Thank you for your understanding, kindness, and words of wisdom. ❤

2

? This is rife.
(((( hugs )))

Thank you.Xoxo ❤

1

Good rant and you're not alone as it goes both ways. I haven't experienced it here on agnostic but other dating sites I've had women I'm not compatible with and even a few men try to chat or email because they're "interested". Even after a no or blocking them, some come back. I've heard that in the age of Trump that this has become more of an issue also. Conservatives can't find dates and don't want to date within their ranks, people think they can re-mold you to what they want, or they don't care because it's a numbers game....

Don't give up, keep trying and don't let them get you down.

P.s. Post some more of your "work pics", they're cool. The land of the lost one brings back memories of watching the show and thinking it was cool! The devilish horned one looks familiar but can't place it, thought it was the goblin from maximum overdrive when I first saw it.

Where The Wild Thing Are. 😀 Maurice Sendak. I built a couple of little Theme Parks based on his artwork. Thank you for getting it. You hit the nail on the head. I know there are good guys out there. Men like you give me hope. And thanks for your interest, I will, Land of the Lost was one of my best and favorite jobs. I got to work closely with Marty Croft and his TV series, all of them, are very near and dear to him. The movie was a labor of love. More Martys vision than Sids.

3

Hang in there. Not all men are like what you've encountered. I always read profiles of people who I meet here or who respond to something I post. If I have a conversation with someone its helps to know where they're coming from..

You are very thoughtful, thank you! ♥

1

I hope you start messaging men whose profile you have read and find them interesting. Let us please know if the same story continues!

I do message men that I find interesting. And I have not seen a rant yet.

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