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This is a major rant about men not reading profiles.

I am here for dating and I have an issue about men messaging me without first reading my profile. I may not be everyone's cup of tea but I put some effort in what I write, it's not a bunch of nonsense. I am very direct and I state clearly and deliberately who I am, what I do, what I want, what I have to offer and what I am looking for. I also state that these things are very important to me. I don't know what other people do in their single profiles but simply I feel I need to do this as I am really sick of the BS that appears in my inbox. I'm getting messages from men who are clearly not reading and when they are prompted to, don't care what I want or what I am looking for.

For instance. I state I am a Liberal, and am even into activism. I am even shown in one of my pics wearing a pink pussy hat. I state that I am not interested in Republicans, Conservatives or believers, yet, I get lots of messages from Republicans who message me, (and in the last few cases their political stance is not stated in their profile). Who just don't care, in fact laugh and act surprised when I ask "how do you lean politically?" It sometimes takes several messages to get to the fact that they are registered Republican and that they voted for Trump.They arec vactually hiding it from me, lol. This has even been kept hidden until a first meeting. Why in the world would someone think I would want to date a Republican when I say clearly I do not? Why are these guys wasting my time and theirs?

There's more, Also I have guys go on and on about how I am charming and how they are attracted to me and yet I see nothing in their profile or in the conversation that indicates that we have anything in common. Does it matter to these guys? apparently nope. They think because they are into me that it must translate to that I will also be into them. Fuck the profile, who reads those things anyway? Right?! You are cute, so it doesn't matter what you want. Lol! Ladies, does this sound familiar?

But there's more, I identify as Sapiosexual, it's stated. I have guys, "lol!" at this, that it must be a joke and what is the big deal about shared interests? I'm serious, this is happening. It reminds me of the Xtians, Catholics, and believers on POF and OK Cupid. They act this way. They do not care that you state that you can't stand believers. That you have no interest in them. They are going to message you anyway. I don't know, maybe they think they still have a chance to fuck you, or that you will send them pictures, or phone sex. I think, they think that if they can get your # and at the very least they can send a dick pic. Is shared interests even a thing with men anymore? Are they just browsing pretty pictures of women they want to troll, or do they just want online sex?

I have even had men ask me "what do you do for a living?", or If they happened to read the first sentence, "I'd like to see more of your work". I'm like really? It's all there! It's in my profile. 😟 I really feel like I am getting disrespected and am dumbfounded by the lack of intelligence and effort from some of the single men here.

CaroleKay 8 Aug 4

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Hasn't the Trump administration demonstrated how much Republican's don't care about facts?

You have a very good point.

45 supporters are the new Irish, facts won't sway them in the face of a higher Truth.


My favorite is the believer who messaged me. I told him I don't date believers - it's a no win situation for both of us. He just blew right past me and said, "but I can take care of your fragile heart." Now, here's the thing: If anyone reads my bio and gets the idea that I'm fragile, I'm thinking they're illiterate or stupid or delusional. And secondly - here's a concept - "No means no."


I think that it's funny, from a guys perspective, just how polar opposites this response is from that of a typical dude's. When I was single I'd make a profile that was detailed and interesting but I would only get maybe 1 or 2 messages a month if that. One part of my head says that it must be so easy for a girl to find a guy, but then at the same time time I could only imagine how difficult it would be for a girl to find a guy that genuinely is into her and not just looking to fuck her. So behalf of all the good guys out there I'd like to apologize and just try to reassure you that good guys do exist.


Give them hell, That was great. I don't think some women read my profile either, But I do know some of you do. Carol I think the world of you Great friend to have.

I adore you. Likewise. Xoxo ❀


Hope you feel better now. Breathe and relax. Tomorrow there will be another batch of newbies to not read profiles.

now that's funny....


Wow, I hope you feel better. I hope you have better luck finding a decent guy - we are out there.

And those republican dudes that are afraid to say they are republican because they are having a VERY hard time finding anyone willing to date their sorry butts!

CS60 Level 7 Aug 13, 2018

Thank you, so true!

Yeah every time I see "politically middle of the road" i think it's code for "i vote for woman-hating policies but im hoping to get laid before you figure that out."

@Emerald That's so true!


Well first let me say that As a man, I would like to apologize for those of my gender who cannot read! As a liberal with many conservative, Trump loving family members, not to mention religious, let me quickly point out that any form of respecting others beliefs by either of these groups is completely alien to their thinking process. In fact, from interactions on Facebook, most of them consider Liberal baiting to be a great sport! As a man, I truly believe that the need to force your opinions on others is less common among women, but I have run into what appear to be female trolls. With online, you can never be sure who you are getting regardless of pictures and names. As long as you read their profiles and scour their posts and comments before responding, you should be able to get some sense of their political leanings as well as their philosophy and beliefs. I generally try to do that before I message someone, though sometimes a person will catch my interest by something they post and I just want to say hi or perhaps get a private clarification of something said or posted. Dating is kind of like a swamp, you have to navigate through all the alligators, snakes, and mosquitos to get to the good spots on the other side.

Seriously, I think you hit the nail on the head.

@CaroleKay By the way, your sculptures are awesome! And you are a great looking lady. Don’t let the slime get you down!

@Barnie2years Thank you, you are very kind.


Men where given two heads but only enough blood to operate one at a time and they usually use the head without a brain. That being said, yes, I think some guys just try to get in enough to have sex or send a dick pic.

You do amazing work. I hope that you find the person that you're looking for.

Thank you.

@CaroleKay You're welcome.


I suggest giving up on this online method of meeting people for relationship purposes. I see plenty of thoughtful and interesting women on this site, but I feel like they might as well be orbiting Saturn. Online situations preclude informed risk taking; fears intercede and prevent the casual plunge, if you will, that can fuel romnantic connections. We are all left spinning yarns about who we are and what we want, which makes early dating situations like "informed disclosure" in contracts instead of organic unfoldings. I'm convinced that online dating is simply not very effective, efficient, or fun, for that matter--and the dick pics add all the emphasis my point needs. ?

Great post


If it's any consolation, perhaps you could reframe it from time to time as being respected by all the people who read your profile and didn't message you because of It? Lol

That being said, solid points. Sorry there are dense assholes in every corner. And if you're a sapiosexual, keep it up with there well-written posts and you're bound to find one falling right into your path. (Honestly not trying to elude to that being me)


Hang in there. Not all men are like what you've encountered. I always read profiles of people who I meet here or who respond to something I post. If I have a conversation with someone its helps to know where they're coming from..

You are very thoughtful, thank you! β™₯


When I was on POF/OKC, I’d frequently get messages from women, usually elderly, who wanted someone to worship Jesus together with them. And of course my profile made it clear that I was s liberal atheist. I concluded that a lot of people just used a shotgun approach, sending out tons of messages and hoping for a few positive responses, the Spam approach to dating. Best to just ignore them!


I had to Google Sapiosexual which ironically due to the intelligence clause immediately disqualifies me and thousands of other men..?

Ps. I totally empathise with your issue..your Bio is very well structured..cogent and exudes clarity.


They probably think they can change you. I used to get that a lot, especially about my sexuality. I just don't use most dating sites any more because I'm sick of dudes who think I 'just need some dick.'


This man has nothing to defend the other men in this world. My 63 years have not met many good ones.

That's sad. Thank you for your insight though.


There is one problem: Thousands of horny guys looking to get laid. It does not matter to them if you are going to pray or blasphemize during sex. They want to cum. Often we paste pre-written paragraph and do not read profiles because we get so few responses. I find that I have to sent 200 responses to get 20 conversations and get laid once. If I am lucky. I do value brains, but I did have terrific sex with totally dull partner. Brains are for the steady partners. And I cannot help it, we have the best president since Kennedy and being Helllary liberal is on opposite side of being cerebral. Liberalism is a brain disease. ArizonaJerry

Gross. You are that guy, that doesn't sound very smart or like it's working for you and yet you are surprised when you don't get responses, lmao! You must have been dropped on your head at birth.

@CaroleKay Aw c'mon! He's a keeper!

Maybe you'd get more responses if you didn't write the same cut and pasted paragraph to 200 different women. Just sayin'.


I will be honest. I had not seen or heard the term sapiosexual before. I think I am one. I'm not hitting on you, nice rant, I didn't come here to date, however, I found someone I enjoy being with. I like that term. Thanks for introducing it, and as an old English teacher i am pretty well read. Best wishes.

I wish you all the best as well, Thank you for commenting.


Men are strongly Visual, and tend to be quite impulsive.
Maybe you should consider becoming a lesbian? (Only partially kidding....trying to force an entire "species" to be completely different seems like a tough road to travel....)


Considering, but I do like the dick. πŸ˜€


Read this post and all I can say is all the guys who do not read are telling you who they are so you can take then off the list of possible. Finding someone who is right for you is hard, there is much that lays in the way, this is their way of helping you.


Carole, I'm sorry this happens. Most tRump people can't read anyway.

I'm on a couple of dating sites and apps. My profile says one-word messages will be ignored. I get several messages every day, and all of them are "Hi!".

Hang in there. There are men who read and are even Sapiosexual. You'll find them.


Sooo, is that a β€œMaybe”? ?


Well said.

If you're anything like me, it's wearisome to beat one's head against the proverbial wall of apathy and indifference when it comes the failure to dialogue in an intelligent and thoughtful way.

That kind of person, especially among us men, is few and far between.

Regardless, I hear you loud and clear. I'll make a concerted effort not to be that guy.


Great rant! Hang in there; there’s bound to be sincere guys around here somewhere. Right? Right?! The carpet bombing or spam messaging approach seems to be popular.


Preach it! Happens to me all the time too

Sorry, β™₯ and thank you for understanding.


Read your profile! You are clear and make no bones about who you are and what you want. My profile has almost nothing in it. Just my fears about Trump. I have 2 tiny pics of me and some artwork that I love. Other than that nothing! Not what I do, nothing about my kids and grands, books etc. I guess it really does not matter either way. If you lived in the east coast we would definitely be friends! Men are visual, they go by that first. At least that is what I have been told.

We do, but visual includes body language and "potential" chemistry. Some people though are so self centered or delusional they see what they want to and skip the analytics. I think women may be guilty of that more than men. I've never done a glamour shot. If I did I'd look like a Scottish King πŸ˜›

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