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Are women happier being single ? [independent.co.uk]

By Wildgreens7
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No single rule can apply to all women.I would rather be alone than suffer in the company of a man who is selfish & difficult.I am very easy - going myself & would like stay away from difficult, & controlling individuals.

maylady Level 3 Aug 10, 2018

This woman is happy as hell single. Never felt so much peace and autonomy in my life.


There is something to be said for not having to discuss (or argue) every decision. I truly don't miss that.

moonmaid Level 8 Aug 10, 2018

I think a lot of men do not recognize or appreciate the work their partners put into their relationships. They just expect the women in their lives to do for them and don't consider it at all. That is not a happy place to be, being an unappreciated convenience.
I know and used to be the kind of woman who did all that and often got her birthday or special days entirely forgotten, much less being appreciated for the day to day.So yes, I agree with the article.

Wow. Every single word you wrote applied in my last relationship to me like it did to you..... only obviously, in reverse. Just goes to show.......

Is that for real?
If it is I must be really a problem in other ways smile009.gif
My ex always got flowers and dinner date on her birthday and stuff (drinks with friends etc) a few weeks ahead and behind it. Her birthday celebrations were stretched out over a month but the last bday we celebrated was her fave band U2 at Hard Rock Stadium in Miami. Anniversary flowers were a lock and we always went to our wedding reception restaurant unless we were traveling.
Those things should be easy so you may as well be single if those basic things aren't even getting covered for you. Everyone deserves that much
Anyway I mean I think there is some of this to both sides and a common theme in relationships. We always think we are doing enough for our partners and they never think we are doing enough. Just the sign of a failing relationship. If neither of you can see why the other thinks they are doing a good job there is much to discuss and figure out. My ex and I could never figure it out no matter how much we discussed it.
Anyway I am at peace with it. I don't feel I had more to give and she felt she needed more. I need very little but maybe that was as much a problem for her as her needing more than I could figure out.
Being single was never a bad thing for me and relationships are a lot of effort on both sides. No relationship ever ended with both saying I was getting everything I needed...

@maxhyde no you ass. I and thousands of other women just make this stuff up because we hate men so much. Wtf why us it EVERY TIME a woman makes a statement about her experiences some guy runs up screaming "no this can't be for real, you must be making this stuff up!!!"?
Fyi dudes. If this is how you think, ya might as well block me now because I have no time for the "not all men!" Types.
I cannot deal with men constantly trying to invalidate everything women say.


@OpposingOpposum ha. OK...noted Good stuff


@OpposingOpposum Yep...it's all about them. Point made.


I believe life is only enriched by the people in our lives.
If I buy a new car ,it gives me more pleasure when a loved one is sitting in it with me.A beautiful place gives me a feeling of sadness if I cannot share the experience with a loved one.The joy that I derive from its beauty is dampened by the fact that I am alone.

maylady Level 3 Aug 10, 2018

That is so true, and well said.

My mind immediately turned to those experiences in the company of indifference, which to me is much worse. In that case I'd rather be alone with the hope of one day sharing these things with another.


I am, for sure. I was married for 25 years, and even when it was good, I felt hemmed in. I have been single now for 27 years, and it is wonderful. If a great guy came along, that would be great. I would never get married again though. I don't know if I would even live with someone again.

Wisewoman3 Level 7 Aug 10, 2018

Well....I can eat and cook to my own damn tastes and I don't have to wipe piss off the bathroom floor..

You tell me.

BufftonBeotch Level 7 Aug 10, 2018



I am happier being single then being married to my ex,, but I like having a partner.

LeslieV2 Level 5 Aug 10, 2018

I know I’m happier being single and I am not really interested in ever being in a serious relationship again. If I did though I would still want to live separately lol

Kriptikos Level 6 Aug 10, 2018

after being single so long and my age chance will not get married again but you never know!


My working theory is that you need a brain damaging relationship before you can -really- appreciate being single. I know people in varying ages up to their 70s who stay together because it's easier or kids or w/e, and they seem more lonely than they would on their own. But yes, generalisation, as mentioned, isn't right. People should definitely be honest with asking the question of themselves to prevent wasting time.

Metaphlaxr Level 5 Aug 10, 2018


Julie808 Level 7 Aug 10, 2018

This woman is.
I can't speak for anyone else.

KKGator Level 9 Aug 10, 2018

I was content being single after coming out of a verbally abusive long term marriage. Happy? I don't know. I think I was. Now that I am in a relationship that doesn't have the negative side effects, I am happier than I have been in probably 20 years. It just really all depends.


Are people happier being single? I don't know. Most people I know are in a relationship but not really happy. I'm single and doing very nicely, thank you. We'll see what the future brings.

idoubtit Level 7 Aug 10, 2018

I know I am. I can't talk for other women though.

kiramea Level 7 Aug 10, 2018

Sometimes. There are no yes and no answers to this. Women today are certainly more independent that our mothers and grandmothers. Without the financial imperative of having a man to rely on to survive many women are choosing not to have a permanent man in their lives. If they feel happier that way then that’s okay, however most women who are heterosexual will still want or even feel the need for a male partner. If we don’t have children our species won’t survive, so that instinct of the sexual urge will always drive us to seek a mate.

Marionville Level 9 Aug 10, 2018

I am much happier now than when I was married.

LiterateHiker Level 8 Aug 10, 2018

the it was not the right person I am much happier not having the ex around


In my experience, when I am in my happy place and feeling secure with who I am and how my life is going I have met a good guy who was a great partner. While the relationships ended, I don't think of them as "failed" relationships. Circumstances or what we wanted changed and we parted ways without hard feelings. When I have been anxious or feeling insecure, I wind up making poor decisions and I have even poorer boundaries. I try to avoid dating when I am feeling like this. Luckily, I am usually in my "good place."

Sorcha Level 6 Aug 10, 2018

I think there is a real shortage of men that are perfectly suited for all women at any given time. The kind of men who are sensitive and financially well off, strong and independent but willing to drop everything to attend to a woman's every need, the sort of guy that you could bring home to your folks and they would love him but also the sort of man who would thrill you and make all your girlfriends envious at the same time. The sort of man who will romance you and fulfill your every sexual desire in bed but have the good sense to get the fuck out afterwards so you can enjoy your sleep without him hogging the covers and stinking up the sheets. I think it is a conspiracy and it is the fault of all those perfect women out there who snatched all those perfect guys up and are keeping them all to themselves. smile009.gif

Surfpirate Level 8 Aug 10, 2018

Hell, I'm straight and I would love to be with the man you just described.

@Hermit Don't blame me, blame all those perfect bitches who are hoarding those Prince Charmings from the rest of us. smile002.gif

Oh yes! All those perfect people living their perfect lives and leaving no perfection for the rest of us to enjoy.
Damn them all. Damn them all straight to hell.

Meanwhile, back in the real world...



Funny you mention "financially well off", women will flock to a-holes with big bank accounts and pass by Prince Charmings that are not so well off.

By the way, I AM the guy you described and just got kicked to the curb by a woman looking for more . I am a business owner and do ok, apparently not ok enough.

@16classic Charming apparently is not enough to make a man Prince Charming, aren't people funny? My other favourite is women who insist that a man be 6' tall MINIMUM!! Have I got a guy for them, EZ Ed was an electrician who worked for me in Bermuda, 6'6" tall and a total douche bag (great electrician and that what I was paying for so his personal life is not my business), the ladies loved him until they got to know him, then they ran but usually he showed them a good time and the rest of the show first before kicking them to the curb like garbage if they weren't smart enough to run for it first.



Donotbelieve Level 8 Aug 10, 2018

I'm not. I'm sick of being single. It's gotten old.


you mean to suggest that women can live without this D? say it isn't so!!

JeffMesser Level 7 Aug 10, 2018

I cannot say about women in general,but I would rather be alone than with someone who is difficult & selfish.

maylady Level 3 Aug 10, 2018

I don't have the actual article but decades ago I ran across an article that asked (are you happy)
The results: From happy to miserable were:

Married men
Single women
single men
married women

Couldn't find the article but did run into this from psychcentral.com

Bottom Line

The combined results of 18 long-term studies showed that getting married did not make people any happier and that satisfaction with the relationship actually decreased over time. The only hint of a benefit was a brief increase in life satisfaction around the time of the wedding, which soon went away. All of these failures to find that getting married makes you happier came from a set of studies biased in favor of making marriage look better than it really is.

NoMagicCookie Level 8 Aug 10, 2018

I am absolutely happy being single, have been for a long time because I haven't met anyone I would give it up for. However, I do miss companionship.

Shawniedawn Level 5 Aug 10, 2018
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