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Thoughts on why so many single men mention their porn habits on dating sites and/or this one? Do they not realize that can be a turn off for women? Or at least it is for me. Maybe it's not for others.

HeraTera 7 Aug 12
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38 comments

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2

That is weird. Of course, I never really look at other men's profiles, so I had no idea. Why would they? I don't know.

12

Because for some, that's all they have to bring to the table.

Isn't that the truth! LOL

Tthat's not a pretty picture.

I think my wants and desires have been misunderstood, lol.

That's just a little thingie

11

There are many men who think their porn and sex habits are a topic of interest to be brought up early. I think many of these men aren’t able to think of a relationship in any other terms but sex. If I were a woman, I believe I would use that kind of initial interest as a sign to turn and run.

Thank you, That's how I see it.

That's what it says to me too

9

I actually watched my first porn movie the other day.

Geez, I looked so young back then................

7

My first thought is: They're stupid. My second thought: Thank you very much because I want as much information as I can get before involving myself with someone.

Your second thought is one I'm thankful for as well.

6

Well, at least you will know, whatever situation arises, they will have it well in hand.

6

My porn is the Science channel, and the discovery channel.
And every now and a great show from HBO or some paid channel comes out with a great series, like Dexter, and Game of thrones.

I can go for that porn. Science porn is awesome porn.

@seaspot_run In that thought. Dr. Neil Degrasse Tyson is a porn star.

6

Helps you screen them out so seems it is a benefit.

It is a benefit to know I agree. I just wondered why they mention it

@HeraTera 62M people voted for Trump, and that's just a start. Probably the same guys who send a dick pic in the first or second email.

6

You're kidding.... right?
Guys attempting to attract ladies open the dialogue with; "I love this kind of porn."???
Man, I'm getting OLD.

you and me both.. not a turn on at all!

6

Porn habits? Really? I must be really really really old.

same here!

5

I don't think it is something I need to know about before I meet you! It really does not need to be in your profile. Obviously people watch open. I don't need to discuss it with you on line in public.

5

Sometimes turning people off on your dating profile is not a bad idea.... if those are people you would never get along with anyway. It saves time in the long run.

@CoastRiderBill I'd argue that the person shutting the door is the one deciding not to engage based on the profile. The profile writer simply provided information. It's up to the reader to decide how they respond 5o that information.

5

Some people have no class. 'nuff said.

But at least they are letting us know up front.

5

Then again, there's this: "Sexual Deviants" Group .

That is what that group is for. You might expect things out of the ordinary in a group called "deviant"

@HeraTera What's the difference? That's what I'm getting at. It's all public.

@bingst Maybe there isn't any difference. If I joined that group I wouldn't be surprised by those topics because the name suggests the people in the group are there to discuss sex, right? I guess a dating site can be looked at different ways too by the people who are using it. Some may only be looking for sex, so they might want to post their preferences. Others might be looking for relationships and sex that has meaning beyond the physical act. But to your point - yes it is all public. I think it's good to be cautious about how we portray ourselves on any site.

@HeraTera Indeed.

5

i agree with you, just no class, keep that private, on the bright side at least you find out what kind of person they are

My feelings exactly

@HeraTera I second that motion!

4

I love this post. Yes they are self declared narcissists focused on their penis. Pretty amazing . Hope it all works out. Now having said this young females and their 1000 selfie picks with bee sting lips send a very similar message . Me me me

4

Those men are thus advertising what they want . They want no strings attached sex . They want women to take on all of the responsibilities , while they simply focus on their penises . They are not looking for a relationship , they don't want to know who you are . They want to get their fantasies filled . Nothing else matters .

Exactly.

Agreed. Women aren’t some fuck resource for these kind of men. If they are looking for “any hole is a goal” then they should use a professional service.

4

I'm pretty sure I didn't mention it on my site and I can understand why you find it a turn off that's something private you know between consenting adults but not to be broadcast and discussed really not in this forum.

4

Huge turnoff. My Porn is zillow.com

I think that's what I'm learning from this discussion. When someone lists their porn preferences it is just another means of gathering information about who they are. Planning a move or do you just like looking at places?

@HeraTera I used to be Queen of My Castle but life had other plans for me short term. But I have another year or two to get through and I will be able to once again aspire to owning my own little plot of land with a cute and cozy home on it. Meanwhile, I call my real estate porn surfing "Getting to know the market". How is that different than Tinder? LOL!

@HeraTera I also really dig old houses and mid-Century Modern Architecture. So I also subscribe to places like CIRCA. No new construction for me!

@seaspot_run Best of luck to you in your search. Life took a similar change of course for me a few years ago. I just recently managed to nail down my plot of land and little home (little is an understatement), but I like it and it feels comfortable. I still surf Zillow myself.

4

I never read men's dating profiles so this is news to me. Really? Guys do that? I guess with some guys, this is the extent of their experience, and it's the only familiar framework they have. That is so sad.

I hadn't thought of it that way. Thanks for showing me a new perspective

4

At least they are honest, open, and not ashamed of their sexuality. Ya could do worse.

3

I find your observations interesting, I don't recall any men mentioning their porn habits in their ads... They may have made some crass comments on their body preferences in women - but no porn items.

Eh.

I've seen it. It's okay to talk about just I would think it puts a lot of them in a negative light

@HeraTera agreed. Women would love to hear all the things that make a guy interesting and fun. If porn habits are one of the first things they advertise, it’s a red flag to anyone who may be interested in a real relationship. Those looking for a sexual fling probably do want to hear this first.
I suppose it’s in what these men want to attract. ?

@BeccaVa good point

@CoastRiderBill Yes that happens too. I know all people are different - some are just harder to understand

3

I would have never figured, although I practice radical honesty I would also never deny it if a woman asked. I’ll do ya one better (spoiler alert) and let you ladies in on our secret: every single guy with Internet access pretending he doesn’t is either asexual, or a virtue signaling liar. It’s a little odd to point out unsolicited in your profile yeah, but that’s mostly because it shouldn’t shock anyone. It should go without saying, that you can assume 99% of us watch porn of some sort, and most of the ones who deign to point it out are probably of the opinion that any woman with a sex drive high enough to be compatible with him probably does too. I often mention my dirty sense of humor and herb smoke early on, because it will save some time for the ladies who certainly wouldn’t like me anyways.

What are guys saying when they mention it though? Are they saying “I watch a lot of porn” or pointing out which genres they like? That seems a little too specific about what they’re looking for to me, but I admire anyone who puts everything on front street. It’s honestly weirder to be surprised or act shameful about it. There’s no reason for a nonreligious person with a healthy sex drive not to watch some sort of porn occasionally. The puritanical assumptions that women are always the victim, they don’t enjoy sex, and sex is universally dirty have gotta go.

I dabble in some on occasion myself, and make no apologies for it ! I'm a big girl now.

Not sure it's appropriate to mention in an ad, when you're trying to attract strangers - but I'd be suspect of any adult of either gender who says they have "never, ever" looked at ANY.

@evergreen for sure! Exactly my thoughts.

@Gwendolyn2018 That's my thinking. Don't know what it's supposed to achieve. @evergreen Right - it seems like something to discuss when you have a relationship with someone already - not in an ad to strangers

@HeraTera yeah no argument there, Ida never expected to see it n still haven’t, still curious about how they’re wording it? I’m only willing to talk about it because so many people are acting like it’s reprehensible though, which I find laughable. I got out of religion to get away from the sexually repressed n there’s a lot more nonbelievers still suffering from it clearly than I thought.

@Wurlitzer yeah whether due to religion or other life experiences - people do have hang ups

I think anyone of either gender who claims to have never seen porn is bullshitting too, but I have to say, I don't find porn compelling either. It's not realistic. It's not even generally a plausible fantasy. I think it creates unrealistic expectations and objectifies and victimizes many in the industry. It's grody. On so many levels, not worth my time. I don't judge people for doing it, but anyone who leads with info about their porn habits would not be impressive to me, and I understand why most women would not find it impressive if this is the first thing I blurt out when getting acquainted. It's not about one's view of sex generically, it is more what it says about one's sexual expectations and values.

@Gwendolyn2018. Agreed.

3

I don't watch porn. Real life is much better and more realistic.

A) unless you’re married to a nympho or constantly killing it with the ladies I don’t believe you don’t watch porn.
B) no one who does watch porn would ever argue with your second claim. It’s not a support against watching porn. The people watching porn are mostly doing it because getting laid isn’t an option or hasn’t worked out in an unacceptable amount of time. That’s like saying I don’t get chemo because cancer sucks. No, you don’t get chemo because you don’t have cancer. If you did you’d be shit out of luck.

@Wurlitzer Well, I'm not married to a nympho.

I really couldn't care less whether you believe me or not.

@Wurlitzer Limey Steve is probably constantly killing it with ladies 😉

@HeraTera obviously lol. Or at least doesn’t have a greater sex drive than his partner. We should all be so lucky.

@LimeySteve I don’t really care about your first claim either, I’m happy for you for whatever reason you have no need of it. But don’t act like that’s due to superior decision making. If you had any kind of sex drive and no partner for a year or longer I guarantee you’d lose that dubious bit of high ground, or you’d get no extra brownie points for torturing yourself one way or another.

@Wurlitzer I used to watch it occasionally, but I haven't for a very long time.

I wouldn't exactly say I'm "killing it with the ladies", but I will say I'm told I'm reasonably attractive, have a good sense of humor, am respectful and easy to be real with, I'm hung a bit better than average and know how to make my partners happy, and I have a higher sex drive than men 20 years younger than me. All this I have been told, and I would have to agree.

I'm Solo Poly and have relationships with several women, all of whom I love dearly. Even if I wanted to watch porn, I really don't have the time.

3

I would rather know what I'm getting into.

Think of it this way; you meet a man, get to know them, start having feelings for them to the point that you are discussing moving in together. Once you and him are in your love nest you catch him watching porn. Okay; he watches a little. No big deal. Then you find out he can't live without it. You put all that time in effort into someone who you don't want to be around. It would have been better is he had it in his profile so you know up front.

Is this a hypothetical scenario or did it happen in real life?

Real life. I don't mind a little porn. It's when it consumes your life when it becomes a problem. It's also when regular porn no longer does it for you and you feel the need to go into child porn.

3

ignorance

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