Been months since I've been up here, but felt like I needed to vent some.
When I decided to verbally come out as an Agnostic, I lost confidence in my self. Really, I was losing confidence in myself as I went through the process of the decision - how the Bible didn't make sense, how it is mainly a fairy tale (in my opinion) that people use (such as myself) as a crutch. And that is OK. We all need support in some way.
However, it sucks. Church was basically a support group. I used to preach, sing, and started a ministry on my university campus before deciding to not be apart of the church anymore. Now, I feel lonely, but I do have some friends I spent time with now and again. But it isn't twice a week, like when I was a Christian and part of a church.
3
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10 comments
Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.When we leave 'church,' it changes everything. No more Sunday Church gatherings, choir practice and all the other activities that take place there...no set aside time that you decaded just for the "Lord." If you leave overnight, I can believe it is similar to 'culture shock!" I came away gradually, so it was a little easier, but not by much! Seeing people on their way to church, still taps a kind of longing...but not for the indoctrination, it is the sense of community. Plus, that deepest of all ideas, that I was doing something for the Lord, by presenting myself at Church, was hard to drop. But, with time and searching to know what you really 'believe in', eventually you come to terms with what you believe and make a new life, that fits better than the old one. At least that is what I found...I am more authentic now.
Freedompath
Level 9
Jan 17, 2018
1
There are some agnostic/atheist local groups that you might be able to find. I live in a small city in Oregon and there is a group that meets regularly. Perhaps there is one close to you? It could fill the gap you're feeling now.
StarLady53
Level 5
Jan 16, 2018
1
It's a hard path you've chosen, but picking this group will help you find your bearing. I was once a pastor a long long time ago. I still miss the group dynamic, and wish there was an agnostic group in every town. The Universalist church would be a good half way house. I bought a motorcycle, and that helps me. Live life to fullest and do things you enjoy.
Leutrelle
Level 7
Jan 16, 2018
1
That is crazy that you used to be a pastor... Like I said, I used to preach myself, particularly when I was in high school in a youth ministry group. It was fun, I enjoyed it, it gave me a clear sense of purpose, strength and passion, but now, I am just "here." What I am doing is valuable, as a social worker, and a crisis counselor for a crisis and suicide hotline. Still, I don't feels supported as much.
@RYSR10 I felt your pain. Sounds like you have a great career, and you are still able to work with people. I am confident that you will be fine, and the "here" maybe can be helping those who are in need. Don't under estimate the purpose you have now, and remember you are grieving a great loss. Feel free to message me. Just click on my icon, and you will see a place to message in upper right.
You'll get through it; you've made the biggest step yet; the rest are more manageable... You have lots of ex-church people here, so lean on us when you need to. I know it's not real social interaction, but it's the next best thing. In the mean time, maybe meet up with some like-minded people in your area that share a hobby (photography, astronomy, beer making?). Or a night class.
Hominid
Level 7
Jan 15, 2018
2
Thanks for the support. I will look into a universal church in my area; it will be a big step in the right direction, I think... still, I would feel like I betrayed the promises I made in the past, like I already have. It is a challenging situation. There are still people who don't know or I haven't disclosed it to, that I am agnostic. Especially my foster mother (who I just call my mom). Unofficially adopted. Lol, so it is still a bit messy.
Why can't you enjoy the activities in your church, choir, social activities, etc, without allowing the dogma to get to you?
jlynn37
Level 8
Jan 15, 2018
0
Well, I was a fundamental baptist, which is very dogmatic... I was a very strong believer. I can't do what I would like in a fundamental baptist environment lol. I will look into what sassygirl3869 suggested.
Check out Meetup.com for agnostic groups in your area. What about Unitarian Universalist Church-they welcome everyone. Remember you have support here.
sassygirl3869
Level 9
Jan 15, 2018
2
Thank you. I will look into that website and also look into that type of church... It is difficult since I was a fundamental baptist when I decided to change my views of religion. We will see what happens.
Do you have a need to share your feelings with like-minded people in an in-person setting? Not uncommon, that's probably why lots of people attend religious, or even Humanist, services. I guess you should start looking in your area.
andygee
Level 7
Jan 15, 2018
1
Will do. Thanks 
You might find an alternate choir? You can go online and they'll let you know about open choirs in your area (by State I believe). There are plenty of non-religious ones. Sounds like it's the socializing you miss the most? So finding new groups would help a lot.
RavenCT
Level 9
Jan 15, 2018
4
Enjoy being online again!
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