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I updated my profile. Not to sound mean or anything. I just don't like dishonest and evading people.
How do you feel? Would you want to be with an honest person? I know it would be a refreshing change.
How easy is it for you to forgive?

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confidentrealm 7 Aug 16

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15 comments

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1

If we were all honest to ourselves, we would stop needing to lie to others.

0

I'm too sick to lie. Can't afford the energy to remember the truth...much less a bunch of lies.

1

I like honesty of character, I can respect someone I disagree with but just don't tell lies and make up a facade of bullshit to justify deception. Just be honest and genuine.

Can I forgive? Not sure, I don't ever forget so.......probably not, it's not a point of principle but if I have been slighted in some way it diminishes how I feel about a person or situation and that can't be undone.

That's exactly how I feel about someone lying to me. I feel they don't care about me. And because of this, I no longer feel the same way about that person. Their value in my life is void. So it would be difficult to forgive but harder still to forget. One the other hand holding a grudge does nothing for me.

1

White lies are usually forgivable and understandable if they are used to avoid hurt feelings. Lying about more meaningful stuff is less forgivable and understandable, even if hurt feelings are at risk. Sometimes the truth hurts but still needs to be said. On the other hand, being "brutally honest" strikes me as thinly veiled excuse to be abusive.

I think little white lies can be a form of kindness. I agree that people who won't tell them can cause a lot of pain.

1

One of my life practices: Radical honesty. Once in a blue blue moon, I'll evade a question -- like when my daughter used to ask me "adult" questions when she was younger; or to not spoil a surprise; or to not hurt somebody's feelings about how ugly their baby really is.

3

I recently ended (5+ months ago) an eight year relationship after putting up with omissions, creative story telling, and outright lies, but it finally got to a point where his last lie just was the last straw... Said goodbye and have not looked back! Don't need any liars in my life. I value honesty.

A lie takes away the control or power of the target as to whether to accept the truth or not, because s/he doesn't have it. With the truth, the person can make the decision whether to accept a relationship with you with that truth or not. Therefore, I believe it is cowardly to lie.

Wow, you expressed that so well!

@Carin Haha! Years of trying to explain to my fella why I would rather him just be honest with me, instead of lying, but never could get through to him on that!

0

I don't volunteer information, so no need to lie. If someone is asking me a nosy question, I say, "Why do you ask?" and change the subject.

Leaving out information to deceive someone, though, is the same as lying, so when some guy doesn't mention he's in a relationship, when courting a new woman, then is confronted later, he often protests that he didn't technically "lie."

0

I take offense at withheld information. Example: Still seeing or getting back with an ex, spent time in prison for a felony offense, I hate America. That kind of thing.

You sound like the guy I'm divorcing.

0

I couldn't lie,during my Air Force enlistments(2),I worked around several Nuclear weapons,the FBI and the Air Force OSI(Office of Security Investigations),dug deep into my background,finding old school mates,neighbors and friends,I still have the same traits today for honesty and believeability.

0

I don't like lying and try not to do it myself, but I also try to forgive some lies if they happen to be for non malicious reasons. Some lies are because someone is embarrassed or caught in an awkward position. When lies are for the purpose of deliberately deceiving someone in order to take advantage of them for whatever purpose it is a pretty awful thing.

0

We all lie to some degree.

1

I hate lies and liars. Having been fed a constant stream of bullshit the past two years sealed the deal.

1

Lie all you want about shit that doesn't matter. But never lie to me about how you feel, or about your plans or anything like that. If you tell me you like me or you love me or your want me, I'm gonna react to that as if you're telling the truth.

2

Lie and it's goodbye, who has time for that shit? I understand differences of opinion and perspective but if you outright lie to me then you can go take a flying fuck at a rolling donut.

2

I don't like lying at all. Not even from friends

So many people do it. I hate it. I don't know who they think they are fooling. If anyone cares to check, their lies only demonstrate their lack of caring.

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