God hates condoms. At least that's what the Catholic Church thinks. What do you do when your teenage child or granddaughter tells you she's having sex with her boyfriend?
1
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Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.First, I made sure they had a thorough understanding of consent and safe sex from a young age. When they expressed a desire to have sex, I took my kids to planned parenthood for the free condoms and encouraged them to consider pairing condoms with another form of birth control.
JenBeberstein
Level 8
Aug 25, 2018
1
Double safe.
"Mom, that was hilarious!" daughter Claire, 28, said recently. "I tell this story to all of my friends."
At age 18, when Claire went to college she negotiated to have an on-campus apartment instead of living in a dorm. I collected donated and cheap items she would need- from sheets to toilet paper- lining up bags in my living room.
At Family Planning, I got 100 free condoms. Separating the condoms, I sprinkled condoms in Claire's bags, shaking them to the bottom. Said nothing.
Claire took a more sheltered friend to help set up her apartment. Claire called her father, appalled:
"Dad! Do you know what Mom did? Mom put condoms in my bags!"
To his credit, Terry laughed and said lightly, "You know your mother."
Two weeks later, when Claire would speak to me again, she called.
"Claire, I'm not encouraging you to have sex with 100 boys," I explained. "You need to protect yourself from getting pregnant and STDs. Share them with your friends at college."
"How long have I been telling you that you will NOT be a pregnant teen or teen parent?"
"Since birth," Claire replied ruefully. We laughed.
LiterateHiker
Level 9
Aug 24, 2018
1
Good story. Sounds like you have a solid relationship with your daughter. She'll probably share this with her daughter one day. Best.
Give the boyfriend an ultimatum he can't refuse.
Healthydoc70
Level 7
Aug 24, 2018
0
I like the boy. A solid kid.
I made sure my kids were reading illustrated, beginning books on human reproduction when they were five, and after that, whenever they went to the local library for books. I wanted the sex subject to be boring to them, not some big exciting secret that older kids could use to manipulate them.
I told my daughter when she was eleven to never allow men to have unprotected sex with her, or to ejaculate in her, no matter what he says. I said that most men want to have sex with most women-no matter what their age, so it's not flattering if a boy wants to have sex, and to remember that she is always in charge and should be calling the shots.
The men are the beggars, and she should NEVER do anything sexual to "keep" a boy.
My kids didn't become sexually active until 18 years old, in which case, it was their business, not mine.
My daughter must have remembered what I said because she never became pregnant and when she was living with her boyfriends, she'd dump them if they began hinting about having children. She also dumped boyfriends who began pressuring her to marry them, and has started her own art business.
birdingnut
Level 8
Aug 24, 2018
2
You were ahead of your time birdingnut. Or maybe I was just uninformed as being brought up in an evangelical environment.
@rogueflyer I was brought up by strict, religious missionary parents, with a mom who shook with fear whenever she even mentioned sex.
That annoyed me, so I educated myself when I was ten, by reading books on human reproduction when we were in the US, and decided that my kids wouldn't grow up wondering about sex.
@birdingnut So does the missionary thing have a play on your being in Thailand? I love SE Asia. Mostly the countryside.
@rogueflyer Probably..Thailand is like an ideal version of Haiti..better religion and infrastructure, with a polite, respectful, clean, honest population. Yet, with many of the same tropical plants and food crops I grew up with..like manioc, rice, pineapples, etc.
It's pretty much paradise here.
@birdingnut Are you up by Chang Rai, Chang Mai?
@rogueflyer In Songkhla, an hour from the Malaysia border. It's a peninsula. I try to stay far away from tourist centers, and seldom see other Caucasians.
@birdingnut Yes, I know Songkhla. Large harbor like bay if I remember right. Some Muslim population. I was there in 1995. Had a massage in a large Buddhist temple like compound (2hr) in the middle of the city I believe. Maybe near a marketplace. Probably a lot different now 23yr later.
@rogueflyer Or not..it's grown up a lot in the suburbs but a lot of the old downtown is the same.
I'd take her to the health department or a doctor and have a 3 year implant put in.
sewchick57
Level 7
Aug 24, 2018
2
Not sure what that is. I like the idea of condoms as a protection of STDs also. So much to be concerned about as a parent or grandparent.
@rogueflyer My main goal would be getting her through high school without getting pregnant. There is or was at least an implant that goes in your arm that lasts for 3 years. But she also needs condoms for safer sex. They're still not 100% guarantee against an STD so regular check ups are also a good idea.
I give her several hand fulls of condoms. The female condom.
Mooolah
Level 8
Aug 24, 2018
2
I didn't know they made female condoms. Shows what I know.
@rogueflyer That is what the women say every time I ask for them at the drug store just to enlighten them. Get 'em online for discretion. Disease is out there & they are incurable viruses.
@Countrywoman Supposedly,a nasty flesh eating STD has been found in the UK(and maybe other countries) with the "Refugees".....
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