Is anyone else scared to death to start over?
My husband died ten months ago. I can't get motivated to start anything.
no problem...years before I 100% came through my wife death... …
@seattlepanda , thanks Panda. I'm beginning to think I'm never going to get through this.
@freeofgod ...I know... but you will...
Thats a very good nickname i like it
Start over with what?
I would assume with "love and relationships" as that's how this post is categorized. =]
I get that. But with what types of relationships? Friends and family that are still religious, work relations with people that one used to have similar shared values that do not anymore, or starting over due to loss through death, divorce, or other means.
I was too vague and since I was the first to comment I was unable to go off the context of earlier conversations or comments.
I used to be, but then my fiancé & I broke up, I quit my job, sold my house and everything in it, and moved from NY to Alaska with my cat and everything I owned in a 2005 Corolla. Scared? You bet. It was completely worth it though as I look at the ways my life has improved and expanded over the last 4+ years. So being scared isn’t the bad part to me. Using fears as a reason not to do something is what I try to avoid. Based on my experience, I say it’s fine to be scared and do things anyway.
Amazing story and what sort of business did you create there? I was just there this summer, will you winter there as well?
@Bigwavedave I’m a photographer and in the process of opening my own art gallery/gift shop. I live in Skagway all year- most people don’t.
No, not at all. After my 25 year marriage ended, I realized that I was finally free. I have moved to different states, alone and not knowing a soul and have made lifelong friends. I retired, leaving my beloved midwifery practice to a young midwife, and have loved being free again. I have done lots of starting over, and I love it. It is an exciting adventure. I have dated also, but I haven't felt strongly enough about any of the men to give up my precious freedom. Maybe someday.
No.
If you feel afraid of being vulnerable, I suggest you watch "The Power of Vulnerability" by Brene' Brown. This 20-minute TED Talk changed my life.
I was married to a wonderful woman for 36 years. Then, she died. So I'm starting over.
Yeah, it's scarey. How does one live a single life? Who am I now as a single man? What is the new dating etiquette? How can a person not be sharing his life and still be well adjusted, happy and live a life of depth and meaning? I have to find answers.
My story exactly, even the 36 years. I am moving on but it's lonely not having the day to day interaction with a woman.
I used to get comfortable (and stagnant). Assuming life would plod on and I would be content was my way of life for years. I liked that. Over the past dozen years, I don't know what might happen, but when it happens, I adapt. Being homeless, jobless, knowing no one, or any combination, I dive in and find out that I can swim.
Sometimes I relish the challenge even after finding a good job and a home.
I'm not scared, but I'm reluctant to inflict my cynicism and doubt on some innocent nice guy.
There is a song maybe Bill Withers. ..."if it feels this good being used then USE ME UP. ..." doubt is good, that's how I became an Atheist age 5 and cynical as hell too. ....Santa Claus = lies alleged vaginal virgin Miriam in a dirty donkey stable = same down the chimney lies....boy easter bunnies laying candy eggs on dogshit lawns. ...never ate those lies either. ...my mom getting baptized when I was 9 she's blowing snot out her nose and coughing water out her mouth a white wet sheet showing her wet black bra&panties in front of 87 people that day..... come ON NOW who really believes this religious SHIT? ??? I guess women were so scared of getting pregnant burning in hell a new marriage to a nice Feminist Atheist guy like me reminds y'all of that pain even after menopause when we finally can be happy lovers without diapers and breastfeeding anymore
I've had to start over several times. I'm not so scared of it now. It's just another chapter in the book.
I refer to them as past lives.
Somewhat, yes. I'm recently divorced (only marriage) and I'm almost 50. It took me a really long time to find my ex-wife and I fear it will take a long time to find someone else I could love.
I've done it so many times that I've completely changed how I look at it.
You really aren't "starting over". You're just moving on to the next thing.
Life is always moving. You have to move with it.
I don't think there's much worse than being "stuck".
So, try not to be "scared". You're just moving to the next thing.
You're going to be fine.
Don't know, but I hope this isn't the reward for how I performed in my last life.
Change is always hard and can be scary. Wishing you the best.
Not at all.
nothing like more than learning something new.
And starting a new relationship is learning something new.
JMHO.