"Ouch," I reply. "That was a mean thing to say."

"I don't laugh at racist jokes."

For years, I felt flustered on the spot. Later I thought of a good reply.

I've learned to pay attention to my feelings. It take practice to calmly stand up to mean people with strength and clarity.

Yes, I agree.
I work with the public also and it is tough to be everything to everyone. I wish you could say fuck off because that is the only response some people deserve.....I feel your frustration. ?

My go to response for most every situation:
You do you, I do me and let's strive to cause or do no harm.

My humble opinion is that you probably don't want to focus too much on those type of things because, you cannot control what people will say and most importantly, if something inappropriate is said then that says more about them than what it says about you. Just thinking out loud, as usual. Cheers !!

There’s one positive way to see this. He did realize his error and apologized, although not full throated. If he says anything similar again, it warrants a visit to HR.. and no you owe no explanations to anyone, ever.

rise above it. you can't change stupid

Sounds like Trump syndrome you have to put somebody down to pump yourself up.

Be polite, but direct. If it offends you, you have the right to say so.

That said, I let a lot of shit just slide man. Let them flap their lips. Smile and nod.

I would normally say I beg your pardon , most of the time they wouldn't say anything or I was just talking to myself. If they do repeat it often it has changed in tone or meaning and if it is per baton i feel that I should give them an honest answer.

Actually, to be honest there isn't much that I find offensive when it's aimed at me.
But I will get in someones face when they are being real offensive to another.

One of my brothers-in-law was always bad about that. Finally I stopped hiking with them. He and my sister practically run up mountains, while I have my own pace and like to enjoy the view. They would be waiting ahead for me and ask what happened. My typical response would be that I saw (fill in the blank) and stopped to admire it.They almost always said they didn't see it.

Turn it around on him professionally. Tell him to do something business wise that he would take as an insult, but is well within "corteous-speak". If it wasn't a professional setting I would just tell him to mind his fucking business lol

It's like when in shape people are at the gym and they see an overweight person and mock them. They are there trying to better themselves and become healthier and some asshole is mocking them and making them NOT want to be there.

There are so many assholes in the world they try to make themselves look better by putting you down because they don't have the moral quality to achieve a higher self-esteem on their own

In that situation I may have said, you are right. I am working on it. Then maybe something like, its hard to find time to exercise when you undergoing cancer treatment, when you are working 3 jobs, when you have kids and parents to care for, or whatever might be making things difficult that you might want to share to make him realize what a jerk he just was.

You are providing for yourself. You get up and (heroically) go to work everyday no matter how much you feel it sucks. You keep on ticking even when some asinine jerk tries to suck the wind out of your sails! You rock!!

And you are kinda hot, but that's beside the point. ?

Two years ago I was out of work for six weeks, and all of my coworkers knew that I was out having cancer surgery. Not long after I returned, I was having lunch with a few other teachers and I was drinking a Diet Coke. One of the teachers (that I didn’t like much already) interrupted during a conversation and said to me, “you know Diet Coke causes cancer right?” I was sooooo angry, and embarrassed, I guess because I felt like she was implying that it was my own fault and calling me out for continuing to be unhealthy. My response was, “good thing I have another fucking kidney,” followed by a smattering of awkward laughter at the table... So I think my solution is to make an awkward situation more awkward, HA!

my reaction would depend on circumstances. if it was someone about whom i cared i would be more likely to challenge that person than if it was someone who meant nothing to me. my response would certainly also depend on whether i perceived that the rudeness was intentional or delivered in ignorance/innocence. it sounds as if the person who advised you to get fit was ignorant, but not innocent -- but it was also someone with whom you have no emotional ties, and from whom you needed some information. if you could come up with a friendly-sounding but somewhat barbed response, that would be cool... but it's not easy to do that on the fly. it's easy enough for me, reading about it, to say you could have said "i'm fit as a fiddle... a bass fiddle!" (passing the remark off as a joke) or "my physical fitness doesn't control the weather" (which would have opened up "but you can control your response to it" for him so maybe that one isn't so great) or "let's focus on fishing instead of my perceived level of fitness" (which could be followed by "... about which you only know what you think you see, which doesn't tell the whole story." but if i were confronted similarly, would i be able to think of those things? maybe. maybe not. but his "sorry" told the tale, didn't it? he knew he'd been rude. so maybe the best answer would've been a pointed "apology accepted." that would show him that YOU knew it had been rude, too.

g

I have this particular look, my sneering teacher look, as my wife calls it. I just give them that look until they fall over themselves to apologize. I have been told that it is a look that conveys way more eloquently than any words that they are so small as to be beneath contempt, and causes a great desire to be raised out of that pit. All I know is that it works. It probably helps that I am 6'8" and 290.

I would probably say, " that was certainly rude. What on earth would make you say something like that?". Then say nothing for a minute or so, then continue with what you were doing.

Because, generally, people are stupid, and say stupid things. Even if our species lasts another million years, there will always be some who say stupid things.

I’d say ego, ignorance, and apathy.

Back when I was a groomer, my boss noticed when I'm offended by something I twitch my nostril. Such a subtle thing even I was unaware of. It's my "tell" she said, because I usually hide my offendedness well.

That said, I tend to not let the first few offenses throw off my mask, but I do tend to get short while wearing my smile. I had a woman at work continue to complain out our security measures, and eventually I told her "ma'am the door is open you may go now." Firmly, still smiling. She huffed but left.

I say any Racquetball court anytime if you want some of this. ?

Definitely a night owl, my friends think I was bitten by a vampire. As a hermit I live in a small apartment and stay inside most of the time. I can say that it has been almost 4 months since I have been outside. It's not that I wouldn't like to know people, it's just the people around me I'm not interested in knowing. I sleep till noon and stay up all night I have lived in the same place for two years, with little outside contact. I send out for everything and have things delivered. Even my son's have to come to me, maybe someday things will change but while Donald Trump still president I don't feel like changing anything.