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Quick question. What do you guys think of people who don't drink alcoholic beverages for nonreligious purposes but will consume maybe a wine cooler or two a year? Women, does it make you uncomfortable if your date doesnt drink alcohol?

By MrChange
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59 comments

9

I'm an alcoholic, been sober for nearly three years now. I hope I'm not judged for it, but I know I will be.

PolyWolf Level 7 Oct 8, 2018
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Doubt it. Unless you tell someone. Its actually more commendable that you recognized there is a problem

Congratulations brother PolyWolf. smile001.gif

Judgement of people who struggled with alcoholism is an obsolete response, lacking understanding of what is happening to the person as a chemical and psychological response. It's highly admirable that you've put forth the effort to overcome the dependency! Congratulations, keep going!

@josh_is_exciting Thank you. Thank you to everyone here. I'm lucky to have the support of my partner, especially after dumping $1K+ worth of Scotch down the drain when she was out of the apartment (it was an especially bad time for me - this was the moment 3 years ago that I knew I had become an alcoholic and knew I needed to do away with it).

I’m judging you. In a good way. You saw a weakness in yourself that you knew was going to be hard to fix, but you did it anyway. That’s a good thing.

I judge you but I’m a positive light! It’s damn hard to get and stay sober. Kudos to you!

I have fewer issues with those that have reached that point and have to stop for themselves. Kind of a demonstration of will, so good for you.

When pressed on it I can (and have) stopped completely however not sure I will do it again. Never say never but I don't see the point in stopping again for the reasons I did.

6

I'm not a big drinker. I don't see the big deal.

Donotbelieve Level 8 Oct 9, 2018
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6

Many people don't drink for non-religious reasons. Some of us just don't see the point and consider it a waste of money and a detriment to good health.
Why would anyone be uncomfortable just because someone doesn't drink?

SkotlandSkye Level 8 Oct 9, 2018
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Some people feel awkward having a drink around non-drinkers, and some people need a drink or two to take the edge off of first date nerves.
I drink, but I prefer not to on a first date. That has resulted in a couple of awkward moments.

5

No, I'm in recovery..12 years, not for alcohol, for heroin,...my point is drink, don't drink...just don't be creepy

MeredithT Level 3 Oct 9, 2018
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Lol. I'll try not to be😈

Congrats on 12 years!!

4

I don’t drink alcohol at all, never have my entire life. I find that this lifestyle choice sometimes makes people more uncomfortable than if I would come out and say I was an alcoholic! Over the years people have told me, “why don’t you just carry a drink around to fit in?” or “you’ve just never found the right drink for you!“ and even “guys would definitely be more attracted to you if you had a glass of wine or a beer, your not drinking makes them uncomfortable.” Sometimes it feels a lot like people who try to push their religion!! (At 42 years old, it still happens)

Jenelle Level 6 Oct 10, 2018
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Trust me I know. I'm trying to understand why they do that.

@MrChange I think people push drinking because they feel guilty about their own drinking. Same with non vegetarians and meat.

I can relate to this. I am always the odd one out because I don't drink at all. Quite often people, when they find this out, will then try and convince to drink. Some even get visibly irritated with me when I refuse to play their silly game. I put it down to their insecurities.

4

Actually, i would feel comfortable if he doesnt drink.

Cutiebeauty Level 8 Oct 9, 2018
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4

It doesn't bother me. I like to drink, but seldom do so. Rarely more than once a week, and that's typically with my cigar buddy. I drink so little because of the detrimental effect it has on health. At some point I will likely cut down to just a few times a year.

Mitch07102 Level 7 Oct 9, 2018
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4

since i don't drink alcohol myself, why should i think ill of someone else who doesn't? the people of whom i think ill are the pushers: aw come on, just one! one won't hurt you! come on, party pooper! dontcha wanna have a good time? well, yeah, but i can have a good time without alcohol, and if for some reason i couldn't, i hope i would be considerate enough not to make someone else feel as if they had to drink.

g

genessa Level 8 Oct 9, 2018
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Thank you. I'm tired of pushers. Reminds me of those people who knock on my door in the mornings about god.

@MrChange oooh i don't like people who knock on my door morning on any topic. i don't do morning. in fact i don't answer doors unless i'm expecting a visitor or a delivery. random knockers are ignored.

g

Yeah, I feel like pushers only do that because they’re insecure about their own drinking

@Marcie1974 hmm, i have a different take on it. it's a control thing. drinkers don't trust nondrinkers and think anyone who's in a clearer state of mind is trying to take control; drinkers also sometimes like to control others, as many addicts do. this goes double if the pusher is pushing a woman.

g

4

Having experienced all the fun of being married to a violent drunk, I am Much happier if they drink coffee, or club soda, whrerever we may be.
However, If they remain in control of themselves, I have NO problem, because it is Their choice...i am not their mother!

AnneWimsey Level 8 Oct 9, 2018
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Agreed

4

I'll be interested to hear the responses, as I've never been a drinker, it never had anything to do with faith. My parents weren't drinkers, I didn't hang out with drinkers, I think part of it to had to do with not wanting to relinquish control. I don't need the expense, medical research is showing that the negatives far outweigh any positives, I don't need any possible addiction problems, etc. And, get me around the right people and I'm goofy as hell, I don't need it to have fun!

josh_is_exciting Level 6 Oct 8, 2018
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Thank you. That's why I asked the question. I'm glad I'm not alone.

3

I don’t drink alcohol at all. I don’t care for it. I don’t mind if someone I’m with drinks some but not excessively enough that it affects their behaviour. I would prefer to spend time with people who don’t drink.

graceylou Level 7 Oct 10, 2018
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3

I am one of those people, except that I don't even do a wine cooler or two a year.

I have no objection to it and have no problem hanging out with friends while they have a drink. Personally, I prefer to keep my wits about me and do not partake in any mind altering substances, I prefer to see the world as it really is without altering it by chemical means.

If I am on a date (not that I have been in the last decade), I would prefer my date not drink to excess as I do not enjoy being around drunk people, but I would be fine with him having a few drinks. However, it would not lead to anything physical because I dislike the way alcohol affects the flavor of certain things, and I could not be sure consent was properly given.

icolan Level 7 Oct 9, 2018
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Well said

3

My best friend rarely drinks, she just doesn’t like the way it makes her feel. Makes no difference to me either way

Marcie1974 Level 8 Oct 9, 2018
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3

Who drinks wine coolers? They have more problems than just not drinking for Jesus.

DaphneDarling Level 7 Oct 9, 2018
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3

Not at all! I don't drink much either, use my calories sparingly. I'd much rather enjoy a clear mind, not clouded by alcohol for a great conversation!

ForeignNata Level 5 Oct 9, 2018
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Agreed

3

I'm not bothered by non-abusing drinking. About half the people in my life like to drink fairly frequently, though I don't believe any of them have a problem. Which is to say I believe it is merely indulgence, not dependency.

The others are either moderate social drinkers, limited by health concerns, or like me they never drink and never have.

I'm really only bothered by people who take my lack of drinking as a challenge, and don't stop trying to get me to drink.

JeremyTaylor Level 8 Oct 9, 2018
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3

I don't have a problem with social drinking as long as it doesn't lead to stupid behavior due to overconsumption. I am not a teetotaler nor of prohibitionist mindset. When a person loses control over their own behavior and starts impacting others negatively, then it is a problem.

I would rather my date have his full faculties and concentrate on me rather than be numbed or unable to perform by drinking. I have the same standards for myself and drink sparingly most of the time. A wine cooler? Might as well be a soda pop...ha ha ...

thinktwice Level 8 Oct 9, 2018
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3

I personally don't drink accept on family occasions. Alcohol is no different than any other natural stimulant whether that be coffee, pure cane sugar, or even herbal supplements. However most people do not understand moderation. Typically people who are health conscious will take into consideration the detrimental effects and use moderation. It all boils down to a person's level of discipline, self control, health consciousness, and personal care. It also sometimes is an indicator of how a person finds happiness. Some people think that they can't have a good time without alcohol. So you just have to decide what that means to you. Is the person you're spending time with able to balance their life with other pass times. Some people are not heavily influenced by a drink or two and live exciting varied lives with and without alcohol. Whereas others who are not necessarily alcoholics seem to use it as a primary means of having fun which depending on the type of person you are could be exciting or a little non-creative and monotonous after you realize that your level of enjoyment in life is somewhat different because you don't drink. Only you can determine who is compatible to you , but just choose carefully. A person who is not attached or controlled too heavily by alcohol probably won't care whether you drink or not. And some people who are into health might actually find it refreshing.

Naturesharmony Level 4 Oct 9, 2018
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3

Doesn't bother me if he doesn't. I've gotten where I don't enjoy the taste of most alcohol anymore but wouldn't mind a wine cooler.

DoubleJ Level 3 Oct 9, 2018
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Agreed.

3

I don't drink except on special occasions. I put that in my profile. I don't mind if some one i'm with drinks as long as she handles her limits.

kensmile4u Level 8 Oct 9, 2018
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3

i think it comes down to you do you. if you need alcohol to have a good time as opposed to can have a good time with alcohol its a different game i love alcohol my best friend rarely drinks so most of the time we spend time together alcohol free but occasionally alcohol comes into it luckily im a happy genial drunk. Im pretty sure people on dates don't mind someone not drinking as opposed to drinking to much

weeman Level 7 Oct 9, 2018
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3

It makes me more uncomfortable when they drink too much liquor. I have never understood people who feel that have to be high to enjoy themselves.

As for me, I very seldom drink because of health reason. Well that and alcoholism/addiction runs rampant in my family.

kiramea Level 7 Oct 9, 2018
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3

I think alot of religions and their rules are hypocritical. It wouldn't make me uncomfortable because i don't drink either.

rosiej Level 3 Oct 8, 2018
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3

Each to their own

wellthen Level 4 Oct 8, 2018
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2

Actually when I go on a date, it makes me nervous if they drink too much. Well, I take that as a bad sign/red flag. I rarely drink for two reasons: I have a low tolerance for alcohol and I would rather eat my calories than drink them. smile001.gif

I also knew someone who died in a drinking and driving accident when I was 15, so that turned me off of alcohol in a big way. I’m 48 and I have never consumed alcohol and driven. It bugs me when people tease me or try to coax me into “just having one.” I guess I’m also embarrassed by and for people who drink too much when they act stupid.

orange_girl Level 7 Oct 9, 2018
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Exactly

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