As an RN, I’ve dealt with this innumerable amount of times. People will cling onto whatever when they are stressed. This is not about us. You are not encouraging thier beliefs, you are encouraging them to find strength.. wherever they need to draw it from.

In the last years of people's lives is not the time to try and alter where those people find their strength. I can imagine it must suck, but IMO your job is not to "fix" these people but to allow them to pass away with what dignity they can find. You're helping them and their families to move on, it's a noble role and I could never do it. Respect.

I am in the medical field as well, but in the diagnostic imaging realm and see a lot of this as well. I typically fall into the category of "if it helps them cope, I let them enjoy their rose colored glasses", but I don't play along. I've had patients come for cancer staging scanning, knowing that they are getting worse, say that they've had prayers or that God is working on them, and then I scan them and the cancer is worse than ever. I don't humor them, I just let them have their God delusion. It is hard. On one hand, I wish I could believe, but I am happy that I don't.

If they're terminal and believing the other side of the moon is in fact a pepperoni pizza, hand them a napkin and say bon appetit. It is one of the few situations where whatever they want to believe, you let them. My grandfather lost touch with reality towards the end, he'd think I was any number of people. Roll with whatever helps them through. Do it with a clear conscience and the knowledge that you are providing comfort in a horrible situation.

As my father got ill he got more and more religious before he eventually passed away. I never once argued my beliefs against his because it just wasn't the right time. He was scared and knew what was happening and was just coping the only way he knew how. There is a time to argue and debate these things but in my opinion it can also be too late as well where it is no longer of any positive use and you seem to be present at those times. Just let them cope how they want to.

As you Lay Dying, you should have a free pass to make up any shit you want. Anything at all. If you think dancing unicorns will make you feel better, by all means, pretend that they are real. At this point in your life you are not brainwashing others, hurting any youngsters with indoctrination of false stuff, or giving people free passes to sin. You are just making your last Passage a little smoother. So do whatever you want! And I think everyone should just stand around you and shut up at this point.

It's about the person who's dying and the family members who are grieving their loss, not about us. This is not a time to be right, but to show compassion to whatever they're feeling. If I was in their place, I would want the same.

Let the dying believe what makes them feel better about death. It's similar to using a painkiller to dull the pain. I know for myself I wouldn't tell my dying mother she's wrong about God or Heaven.

I cannot get clear at the moment on how to explain it...but there is a way to support people where they are and still use your logical and reasoning abilities. I come from Religion and worked myself right into a non-believer! And I have found that I use words that support our humanness with religious people and it seems to work, at least I don’t get ‘push back!’ Our humaneness is universal, you just need to know how to weave what truth that you understand into their way of believing, and not in a manipulative way! But, that which supports human nature! I may have erred by responding to your post...but I have experienced what you described!

If they really cared about alleviating people's suffering they would promote Death with Dignity programs like some states (mine) have. But, in the end it is not about others but themselves. I have posted/commented many times and written a lot about this subject. These hypocrites say this is unnatural but they will seek any modern and artificial method to extend life. They say they can't wait to meet Jesus, but not just yet. I would have a really difficult time working with these kinds of people.

When I was nurse ( back in the 70's we'd come up against the very same thing and, thankfully, many of my fellow nurses were Atheists like myself.
But we'd always have to 'bite our tongues' when confronted with the seemingly endless rows of Priests coming around and spewing forth their utter drivel that " God was calling their dying family member/friend home to him."
The same thing began to happen in the year 2000 when I was at the bedside of my 15 year old Daughter 24/7 whilst she underwent Chemotherapy for Mature B Cell Lymohoma, that was until she loudly spoke up and told every single Priest/Chaplian, etc, to " Take your Death Cult Bullshit and shove it where the Sun never shines." I was always so proud of her, but at that instant my pride in her grew even greater.

I’m certain there are patients who are not theists and you would be a huge asset to them. How to identify them would be a bit challenging. Maybe see if they have an identified chaplain or religion in their record.

Religion is not the only myth we create for ourselves to find comfort. And we all create such myth, barely based on our perception of reality, and atheists do it to.

When our duty calls to comfort those in need of comforting, it makes sense to guage their inner strength, and comfort them accordingly. I think there is nothing wrong or internally inconsistent with my ethics or atheism in that approach. You do a tough job, and thank you for doing it.

I am a therapist in private practice in upstate NY, a predominantly Republican and Christian area. This part of the country was called "The Burned-Over District" for the emergence of many new dogmas in the period 1800-1850.
I approach religious beliefs in the same way I approach political beliefs in therapy - I am respectful but neutral. When a family is dealing with a family member with terminal illness, I support them in every way I can. My job is to help them use the strengths they have to get through a difficult time. If some of the strengths and supports are oriented around a religious belief, I don't touch that belief. Rather I help them figure out the best way how to deal with the medical system and the ways in which they can help their family member die by respecting the patient's wishes and letting them go. Unresolved conflict with the identified patient can be worked on while that person is dying or even after the death. So many ways to assist, and my belief or lack of belief isn't relevant to their process.
I'm sure that you are helping your patients in many ways. I continue to struggle internally with many questions, including whether there is such a thing as evil. Doing therapy is a great job and keeps me growing all the time.

I understand how you feel about there false beliefs. Just remember it is their belief that give them comfort. When dying if you have believed in beacon all your life. Now is not the time to find a new reality. You are there for support of them . That is what is important.

In therapy, what works is what's used. That is, it is not our position to step on folks in grief or folks in intimate contact with their mortality. Whatever it is we think we 'know' about the workings of the universe is best retained in the hip pocket while we use what we have seen firsthand working for the stressed and those in the early stages of pending loss. We 'know' a band-aid on a wound that has resulted in a severed carotid artery is of no use, but if the victim will feel better, put a bandage on it.

Whatever works for them at that time.

My Brother in Law died of Cancer in his 40's with three kids not near grown. He went from atheist to grasping at anything - and I totally get it. No one took him for any money. People just gave him ideas to hold onto in an ugly time.

I was ok with that and I still am.

It was the one thing my Dad worried about when he realized I was atheist. "What will you do when you realize you are going to die?". Probably what everyone does. If it's fast - panic for a moment. If it's longer - maybe be brave - or maybe be a bit foolish.
And that's okay.

I really feel for you. That must be so hard.

If you want my honest opinion, I don't think a therapist should ever talk about "god" to their patients. Even if that's what they believe or tell you that's what gives them strength. They're on their death bed. You and I know they wouldn't be there suffering if their god was so great. Personally, I wouldn't encourage terminally ill patients to continue utilising something that isn't real. Take their mind off of that by trying a different tactic. For example, music therapy (non religious) healing/ meditation/ ambient music. Try asking your patients, "If you could give your pain a colour, what colour is it today? What shape would you say it is?" There are so many ways to take your patients minds away from religion or thoughts of "superior beings" without telling them. I believe in an afterlife. Just not the way religious people do.

I would just leave them to their beliefs, neither encouraging them nor discouraging them. It’s certainly an interesting tightrope to walk as a therapist, that is true.

But there is the whole field of NDE’s. The last word hasn’t been written yet about whether there is a life after death, although God and Heaven are I agree incredibly unlikely. There could be some form of non-theistic afterlife, and in your position I wouldn’t be uncomfortable argueing that.

If people need religion in order to cope they should be encouraged regardless of your beliefs.

Okay... I know I will probably get hammered for this here.

You do not KNOW their beliefs are false! There is no way for you TO know. They cannot prove there is a god and you cannot prove there is not. We all have our own beliefs. I choose not to go around telling christians they are crazy... Just like I don't put up with them tell me that I am.

My mom was in and out of the hospital for months, off and on before she passed away last February. I never once prayed for her as I felt it a waste of time. The hospital reverend would always try to come in the room. I would just say... "I am sorry... Family only." She just walked right in one day... I get it... It's her job. But my mom was unconscious and I just kept working my crossword. She asked a few questions and I gave her one word answers. She said she was going to pray... Hey... Pray away but please don't include me.

I find it strange that a therapist wouldn't understand how terminally ill patients might turn to religion in their last moments. When I am told about someone who is nearing death... A friend, their family member or even a friend of a friend... My response is always.... "I will keep them in my thoughts!"

As a therapist I would think you are there to provide comfort... Not to try to convert them. If you are uncomfortable with this... I would find something else to do.

I have been in conversations with people dealing with a death or terminal illness, if they discuss religion, I let it pass without comment. If they ask my beliefs, I leave it at, "I'm not religious."

I once had a coworker who was religious ask me what I thought happens to dogs when they die. She seemed satisfied that I told her that they're no different than people.

If you are agnostic you recognize your own falsifiable hypothesis and readily concede that should scientific method be satisfied then any other hypotheses which falsifies yours as to hitherto unrecognized systems, in fact supersedes your own contention such that a given, presently supernatural system is, in fact based among complex evolutionary diversity and adheres to the standard model or updates the standard model with new, testable information standing up to peer review.

Victims of abuse also tend towards religious identification to deal with an otherwise irreconcilable social disparity forced upon them by nefarious individuals and compounded by inherently animist sociology. Hence running around disparaging extremist believers that are simply seeking to intellectually bully others with threats of fantastic subjugation is very different to disparaging all religious devotees whom hold nothing but the best of intentions for civilized communities and their own, benevolent well being.

The simple version is: to unilaterally dismiss the divine as some incomprehensible allegory strictly disassociates scientific method which clearly states that all hypotheses must be falsifiable as its very first rule. You cannot say there is no supernatural explanation because it is untestable, therefore opposition is opinionated and nothing to do with science. It is irrelevent that asserting the existence of the supernatural, or divine is also unfalsifiable so unscientific, opposition is and that's the key point. If it's untestable, you could be wrong either way and if you don't recognize that, then you're just not being scientific.

If someone says "I saw a pink rhinocerous," you cannot reply, "There is no such thing as a pink rhinocerous," just because you haven't seen one.

it has to be difficult. sometimes i have to speak to theists from within their own belief system, even though i certainly don't share it. "god helps those who help themselves" is awfully useful for motivating people who have a "god will take care of it" attitude. but i'm talking about daily life, not people who are not going to benefit from being disillusioned, nor be harmed by maintaining their delusions. see if you can find the movie "harvey" somewhere (youtube doesn't have it directly; maybe someone does). then think of these people as james stewart.

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