I am feeling very sad and greatly disappointed in someone that I have long loved and respected.
This person has decided that their need to be angry is so great that they cannot differentiate between people who might disagree with them, and people who actually want to do them harm because they are different.
They have taken to flinging around jargon that most people outside their political circle do not understand, and then after applying these labels to people who have no idea what theses words mean, take offense when their targets object.
They cannot understand the fact, that just because most people come from what Queer Theorists call a "Heteronormative" background, that not all non-Queer people are the enemy.
Their use of jargon, and their use of rhetoric, is no different than the people who are their actual sociopolitical enemies. The people who throw phrases like Social Justice Warrior and "snowflake" around. The people who shout down other people while they are trying to speak.
I have tried throughout my relationship with this person, to always build them up. They once, as a teenager, had a crush on me (Don't ask me what they found so attractive, the middle-aged, balding guy writing this doesn't understand it either). I did my best to explain to them how this was a really bad idea, and would be injurious to them.
Once that phase had passed they wrote a letter to me, one I still have. They said in that letter "Thank you for respecting my boundaries, even when I didn't know I had any."
When they were looking at colleges to go to, they were only looking at schools they thought would be easy for them to get into and afford. I encouraged them to look at some schools that they would really want to go to and apply to them regardless of how admission standards and cost. The safety schools (one of which I went too) would still be there.
They were accepted to both of the schools they applied to simply for liking, and are attending one of them.
And trust me, though they might disbelieve this, I understand where this anger they are feeling comes from. And they are right to be angry. But they seem to be targeting people indiscriminately with no regard for strategy. But if it continues on past a phase of youth, it is going to eat them alive.
I have to admit that I let my anger get the better of me yesterday in responding to their "fuck you". But this former friend does not seem to realize that freedom of speech does not mean freedom from critique. If they do not want to have people disagree with them, then they should not post in a public forum.
I and the rest of my family have had to deal with a similar level of anger from my sister. Who, of her own choice, cut herself off from us. She later, after mom died, complained that she didn't have a relationship with the family.
Hopefully my friend develops some ability to differentiate friend from foe.