Well, my brother is at my house, not really for the holiday, just happens to be here, but I still have to listen to religious, Islamaphobic bullshit, irrational talk and whatever. I have in the past repeatedly asked him to just not discuss any of this with me, but he has no respect.
To be fair, he is not well mentally and has serious anger issues that fuel delusions. He also is not very right and has a miserable life. He yells, and provokes with really, really stupid statements (I condone child killings and beheadings and so on). I actually have his email blocked because of the stupid shit he sends.
Thank you for letting me vent.
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11 comments
Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.I feel your pain! My sister suffered a brain injury over 20 years ago that almost killed her. She was fairly liberal at that time. When she came out of it... She was a changed woman.
She divorced her husband and moved out west to marry a man that idolizes the Confederate Army and Adolf Hitler's reign... He apparently has German heritage and relatives that fought for the Confederacy. This makes get-togethers very touchy.
RiverRick
Level 7
Nov 23, 2018
0
Wow, sounds interesting at least. ;^)
Amazing about the brain injury part.
Maybe you could talk with his doctor(s) about his meds? They will of course not answer any questions, but might appreciate info if you present it as "i am worried...."
AnneWimsey
Level 9
Nov 23, 2018
0
My house, my rules. Don't like that? There's the door, I don't care who you are.
nvrnuff
Level 8
Nov 22, 2018
0
Sounds fair to me....
Duck and cover, comes to mind. I doubt he'd respond well to cross examination. All you'll likely to get is an escalation of aggression, resulting in undesired feelings and memories.
Get past it, then comeback here and talk with sensible people.
By the way, I recently passed a Management of Aggression Course
Sofabeast
Level 7
Nov 22, 2018
0
Yeah, that is why I come here. I do my best to not let him provoke, but even the most innocent conversation gets turned into something about Islam or whatever. I actually worry that he is going to have a heart attack one day when he gets so upset.
@itsmedammit It's shame I'm not a qualified Psychologist yet! Four more years.
Seems like he need psychiatric help.
Jolanta
Level 9
Nov 22, 2018
0
Of course he does, and he will never seek it. Same with my mother. Too paranoid/insecure. There is also a very justified fear of stigma. Sigh.
I miss mine too. Dad was hardly there and mum was crazy. So it was just me and John. Now he goes on about brexit, Tommy Robinson and Trump. Where is that guy that introduced me to the Stones, Zep and Roy Harper?
My best advice is...Drink copious amounts of alcohol
273kelvin
Level 8
Nov 22, 2018
2
My brother is a sociopath with schizophrenia and my mom is her enabler. He’s at all family gatherings. Since I fly across the country to see mom he is there for holiday dinners. It’s awful.
Sydland
Level 7
Nov 22, 2018
4
It is tough, for sure. Growing up, my brother and I were close because we are a year apart. I miss the old guy.
Have you ever discussed it with her? Maybe she needs to go on Dr Phill.
@Jolanta You are joking about Dr. Phil, right?
@itsmedammit Nah, we knows he may help. It would be worth a try and he needs some new material. Just imagine if he could help how good that would be.
@Jolanta All I can say is wow. Dr. Phil is entertainment and he uses people who are in difficult straits to make money. Wow.
Your house, your rules.
You are not required to have anyone in your home that doesn't respect you, your family, your guests, or any other damned thing.
Sounds to me like you're feeling resentful because you feel obligated to have him in your home simply because he's "family". You are under no such obligation, no matter what anyone may say.
His issues are not your problem. Toss his ass out, if you want to.
KKGator
Level 9
Nov 22, 2018
2
Thanks, but it is a bit more complicated. It is just him and me here. If there were guests, it would be a different story. Thankfully I'll be joining non-family for Thanksgiving soon.
@itsmedammit It's as "complicated" as you allow it to be.
Enjoy your day.
@KKGator Quite obviously there is more than I can or want to go into here. I just came to vent.
I am sorry you are dealing with that. I don't like to have rules in my home, but some are held to no matter what. Our home is where we should always feel comfortable.
Holysocks
Level 8
Nov 22, 2018
2
Yeah, I'm ok for now. It's just the two of us - no guests, and I'll be heading out soon.
If he were my brother, I would say to him: "You are my brother, and I owe it to you to be honest to you. You are a guest in my home. As a guest, you have the obligation to treat all others here with civility abd respect. If you can't do that, get the hell out -- now. You will always be welcome if you can observe my guidelines in my home, but if you cannot, you are not welcome. .
wordywalt
Level 9
Nov 22, 2018
1
"You are my brother, and I owe it to you to be honest to you." You have no idea how inflammatory a statement like that can be to a psycho. Anyway I am ok, it is just him and me here and I will be leaving for dinner with non-family soon. I just wanted to vent.
I know how it is and feel your pain, several members of my extended family have schizophrenia and there is little you can do but try and defuse the situation and redirect the conversation. Nothing like a psychotic breakdown to ruin your day.
Surfpirate
Level 9
Nov 22, 2018
2
Yes, mother and others were afflicted as well. One of the most significant hurdles in my life was to learn to accept my mother as is. Harder with the brother as he works so hard to aggravate people.
@itsmedammit It's a family thing for sure and those who don't have the problem themselves have to deal with the problems of those who do have it.
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