You have to do what makes you happy and not worry about the culture. Everyone is going to have a different takes, experiences, and preferences, so if some people say that sex is bad and others say you need to have more, who cares. You decide what works for you.

I'm not in a sexual relationship with anyone at the moment, and I don't feel guilty about this at ALL.

And if and when I am, I'm not going to feel guilty about THAT, either. I like making love to women, and if they like it, too-I figure it's all good.

Sex isn't bad, and neither is celibacy. To each their own.

Close, but at the same time, far away.

Society looks down on men who aren't getting any. It looks down on women who are.

I struggled for years with the concept. But that wasn't entirely my fault, the situation is designed to compound problems in on itself.

Let me just say this, I stopped looking at women who sleep with men outside of a relationship as whores as soon as I stopped looking at most women as potential romantic partners. But I only did that because there was a societal expectation that I should be "getting some" from the first time I got made fun of for not in freaking middle school.

Who people are having sex with, if they aren't in a romantic relationship with me, is none of my goddamn business (within legality, please don't have sex with kids y'all).

The trick is, refuse to be damned.
Don't accept anyone trying to damn you to anything.
Besides, there is no god to damn anyone.

There probably is a monolithic direction that each culture follows but I think we are almost completely unaware of it, and I think it changes as our culture changes. Feminists talk about the male gaze as being unescapable, that is sorta what I mean. I think/feel that sex in America is becoming more liberal overall (big exceptions include the forces exerted by religions) and it appears to me that to our concept of justice, of treating people fairly without regard to their sexual practices is prevailing in our court system. I think this is important because as laws change our perception of sexual preferences and practices also change, our mind set changes.

I think the major faction of our culture that demonizes sex are religions which use the fear of different preferences and practices as a powerful way to direct their congregations. Even here the rules of law appear to be changing their approach, at least in some major religions. Anecdotal bits:

"Earlier this month, Juan Carlos Cruz, a survivor of clerical sexual abuse in Chile who was a guest of the Vatican's in late April, says he and Pope Francis discussed more than the scandal that has roiled the church in Chile. They also discussed Cruz's sexuality. He is gay.
According to Cruz, the Pope told him, "It doesn't matter. God made you like this. God loves you like this."

Of course the Vatican would neither affirm nor deny the conversation.

"The Presbyterian Church (USA) is currently the only Presbyterian Denomination in the United States that allows same-sex marriage, and ordains openly LGBT members in committed relationships as teaching elders (clergy), and ruling elders (elders elected to serve on the Session)."

Well Mr. C, if you're happy, then I'm happy. Hope you get some, not bothered in the least if you don't. Good luck, bro.

Yes, we live in society that is rife with hypocracy, corruption, and unrealistic expectations. I think much of the latter is brought about through advertising. As screens, with all their mendacious content, proliferate we need to make a conscious effort as a society to mentally separate the chicken from the gumbo, try and infuse a little reality back into every day living. We can start by cancelling our Facebook accounts.

there is not just one culture here. you need to change the channel.

g

Does this culture do that? I hadn't noticed. Sounds like a pretty "Incel" thing to do.