You’re damned if you do, damned if you don’t. I hate how this culture demonizes sex yet at the same time tries to make you feel bad if you’re not ‘getting any’ so to speak.
Well I don’t care. I choose to be happy so fuck your noise, society! I’ll be happy if I’m getting some and I’ll be happy if I’m not.
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9 comments
Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.You have to do what makes you happy and not worry about the culture. Everyone is going to have a different takes, experiences, and preferences, so if some people say that sex is bad and others say you need to have more, who cares. You decide what works for you.
bleurowz
Level 8
Nov 23, 2018
1
I'm not in a sexual relationship with anyone at the moment, and I don't feel guilty about this at ALL.
And if and when I am, I'm not going to feel guilty about THAT, either. I like making love to women, and if they like it, too-I figure it's all good.
Sex isn't bad, and neither is celibacy. To each their own.
Deveno
Level 7
Nov 23, 2018
1
Close, but at the same time, far away.
Society looks down on men who aren't getting any. It looks down on women who are.
I struggled for years with the concept. But that wasn't entirely my fault, the situation is designed to compound problems in on itself.
Let me just say this, I stopped looking at women who sleep with men outside of a relationship as whores as soon as I stopped looking at most women as potential romantic partners. But I only did that because there was a societal expectation that I should be "getting some" from the first time I got made fun of for not in freaking middle school.
Who people are having sex with, if they aren't in a romantic relationship with me, is none of my goddamn business (within legality, please don't have sex with kids y'all).
Xuande
Level 7
Nov 23, 2018
2
Your second sentence says it all. The whole ad industry is about making people feel small and abnormal for not having enough sex (money, looks, a better home or car, etc.), so those feelings can be used to sell them something that either promises to get them more sex or make them feel
better by compensating for the lack of sex in their life. Then, on the other end of the whipsaw, is society's judgment. esp. by the right wing, of women who do have sex outside of marriage and by the general society of men who don't get enough sex, who are seen as losers. Both sides of the whipsaw use blaming of the individual to sell them something or further their own interests, be that political gain or just feeling superior to someone.
There probably is a monolithic direction that each culture follows but I think we are almost completely unaware of it, and I think it changes as our culture changes. Feminists talk about the male gaze as being unescapable, that is sorta what I mean. I think/feel that sex in America is becoming more liberal overall (big exceptions include the forces exerted by religions) and it appears to me that to our concept of justice, of treating people fairly without regard to their sexual practices is prevailing in our court system. I think this is important because as laws change our perception of sexual preferences and practices also change, our mind set changes.
I think the major faction of our culture that demonizes sex are religions which use the fear of different preferences and practices as a powerful way to direct their congregations. Even here the rules of law appear to be changing their approach, at least in some major religions. Anecdotal bits:
"Earlier this month, Juan Carlos Cruz, a survivor of clerical sexual abuse in Chile who was a guest of the Vatican's in late April, says he and Pope Francis discussed more than the scandal that has roiled the church in Chile. They also discussed Cruz's sexuality. He is gay.
According to Cruz, the Pope told him, "It doesn't matter. God made you like this. God loves you like this."
Of course the Vatican would neither affirm nor deny the conversation.
"The Presbyterian Church (USA) is currently the only Presbyterian Denomination in the United States that allows same-sex marriage, and ordains openly LGBT members in committed relationships as teaching elders (clergy), and ruling elders (elders elected to serve on the Session)."
cava
Level 7
Nov 23, 2018
0
The level of dishonesty on the part of the pope is dreadful. God loves gays? Only if they don't live their sexuality.
Yes, we live in society that is rife with hypocracy, corruption, and unrealistic expectations. I think much of the latter is brought about through advertising. As screens, with all their mendacious content, proliferate we need to make a conscious effort as a society to mentally separate the chicken from the gumbo, try and infuse a little reality back into every day living. We can start by cancelling our Facebook accounts.
Flyingsaucesir
Level 8
Nov 23, 2018
1
Does this culture do that? I hadn't noticed. Sounds like a pretty "Incel" thing to do.
Deb57
Level 8
Nov 23, 2018
1
I would say so. From the 1st it demonises and quite rightly criminalises sex with minors. Then puts young girls in cheerleaders outfits and beauty pageants. If a woman is sexualy active she can be labeled as a slut (see any rape defence lawyer). If she is not then she is frigid. Sex is everywhere on advertising and films. Yet making a pass someone in the workplace can get you fired.
The guy has a point.
@273kelvin making a pass at someone in the workplace should get one fired. And it's important to note that "making a pass" is not synonymous with inviting a co-worker out for coffee later. "Making a pass" is often rude in any setting.. except maybe at an orgy. It's not the reason you're there, and almost invariably it makes everybody uncomfortable at some point. I agree that beauty pageants and dressing children in alluring clothes are in very poor taste, but still not an excuse for men to be unable to control their libidos. As for labeling women, we have endured that since the beginning of time. It's still not okay, but we have the patriarchy to thank for it.
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