some of us do not end up in toxic relationships.
"you're responsible for your experience, nobody else is" is -- apart from its common really needing to be a semicolon -- not completely true. the first half is partly true. the second half is definitely false. more than one person can be responsible for someone's experience. victim-blaming is NOT HELPFUL. yes, we should know warning signs and see red flags. not everyone has the wherewithal -- emotional, physical or financial -- to get up and go at any point during a relationship. some people get tied to radiators. are they completely responsible for their experiences? some people get murdered. guess what? it happens after they leave, TOO.
Most of us end up in toxic relationships because that's all we've ever known, even as kids, so it feels familiar. I really don't think people are responsible for what was done to them as children. And I would say that without a lot of outside help, many victims are unable to see their situation for what it is, much less to fix the damage done to them to the point where they are able to protect themselves.
Yes, some people are bum magnets. Most people are on their very very best behavior at the beginning of a relationship. I think there are a lot of different reasons that people end up in toxic relationships. I also think that it is not always the trapped person's problem that caused it. There is not a one-size-fits-all answer for anything. I've been in for relationships in my life and only one was truly toxic.
We do it because in the beginning when it starts to happen we don't notice it and when we do we are so shocked that we don't believe that it is happening. That he/she did not say that or did not mean it, that he/she had a bad day, etc, etc. And then we are there downtrodden, all self confidence gone not knowing where or whom to turn to.
First woman I met in my new wonderland was ..all over me, so to speak. Couldn’t have been more attentive. What turned out telling was the way she’d rag on others, anything & everything in fact. Couldn’t help but wonder ..when would that be me?
Sure enough, as soon as I backed off, allowed for some space, made a few subtle suggestions, the real her emeged. No thanks, thought i..
Miss her son, though. So emotionally beaten, father runoff years ago.. We’d talk for hours, though he appeared to realize I’d be gone soon, too.
A toxic personality is where an online searched led me, every trait became evident. Crap, after 3 years prior with a Borderline.. I hate to be rude, but have decided self preservation must come first
Or, relationships evolve into toxic relationships because nature's plan of consorting pairs is only hormonally/chemically designed to be temporary and society promotes a falsehood as to what it actually is. Nature's plan may be, "It is better to have loved and lost, loved and lost, loved and lost..."?