What does the “H.” in “Jesus H. Christ” stand for?
(Be creative— this is intended to be fun!)
8
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CaroleKay
Level 8
Mar 18, 2019
3
My late wife and I used to attend a Unitarian church in Ames, Iowa where she had been a member of a cycling group the church had. What was its name? Hell On Wheels, of course...
Hulkhogan, from his little known professional wrestling career.
MrBeelzeebubbles
Level 7
Mar 18, 2019
3
Hung?
BestWithoutGods
Level 8
Mar 18, 2019
2
That could have two meanings... referring either to hsi hanging from the cross, or referring to his the size of his genital endowment.
@snytiger6 I meant it in the second way. 
The earliest use of the phrase is unknown, but in his autobiography, Mark Twain (1835–1910) observed that it was in general use even in his childhood. Twain refers to an episode from 1847, when he was working as a printer's apprentice; Smith (1994) tells the tale thus:
[Twain] recounts a practical joke a friend played on a revival preacher when Twain was an apprentice in a printing shop that Alexander Campbell, a famous evangelist then visiting Hannibal, hired to print a pamphlet of his sermon. While checking the galleys, Twain's fellow apprentice, Wales McCormick, found he had to make room for some dropped words, which he managed by shortening Jesus Christ on the same line to J. C. As soon as Campbell had read the proofs, he swept indignantly into the shop and commanded McCormick, "So long as you live, don't you ever diminish the Savior's name again. Put it all in." The puckish McCormick obeyed, and then some: he set Jesus H. Christ and printed up all the pamphlets.Smith suggests (1994:331-2) that "Jesus H. Christ" is a specifically American profanity, and indicates that at least in his experience it is uttered primarily by men. Quinion (2009), a British author, likewise specifies the phrase as belonging to American English.
Also, the term "Christ" is not a name, it is a title (if it were a name does that mean his father was Joseph Christ or Mary Christ)? Correctly spoken it should be Jesus the Christ. Too bad something so simple eludes the Christians.
JackPedigo
Level 9
Mar 18, 2019
2
Huffalump?
BestWithoutGods
Level 8
Mar 18, 2019
2
Ah... a fan of "Winnie Th ePooh"...
Hatheist
Sofabeast
Level 7
Mar 18, 2019
3
@PalacinkyPDX him or me? lol Hmm I've not had haggis for about two weeks!
Based on the people who claim to follow his teachings, I'd guess 'homophobic'.
chalupacabre
Level 8
Mar 18, 2019
1
John was his "beloved" disciple, so maybe his full name was Jesus Homosexual Christ.
BestWithoutGods
Level 8
Mar 18, 2019
2
Obviously, the 'H" stands for "halitosis" because our Lord hanged around with fishermen and was known to bite a raw halibut or two -- just for the hell of it.
Aristopus
Level 7
Mar 18, 2019
2
@PalacinkyPDX He was quite a cunning linquist.
I would venture "Himaginary"
LenHazell53
Level 9
Mar 19, 2019
1
I would vote for this as the very best middle name!!
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