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What does the “H.” in “Jesus H. Christ” stand for?

(Be creative— this is intended to be fun!)

flithyMONKEYmen 7 Mar 18
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51 comments

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0

I don't know. I've just always enjoyed using the expression "Jesus H. Christ on a goddamned crutch!" as a way to express my ultimate disgust and feeling flabbergasted at some absurd situation....

I thought it was F in the middle. ?

@Zoohome I have heard and also used that variation myself, as in Jesus F-ing Christ.... I prefer the H. most of the time since it is less vulgar.

12

Our father who art in heaven "Howard" be thy name. There you go,

I think you win.

@JimG Thanks.

11

Hypothetical? Hallucination?

10

Hoax

8

Hell on wheels

My late wife and I used to attend a Unitarian church in Ames, Iowa where she had been a member of a cycling group the church had. What was its name? Hell On Wheels, of course...

7

"Hopemydadchangeshismindaboutmycrucifixtion"

6

Just came across this gem

5

Hussein. He told me ?

5

Hulkhogan, from his little known professional wrestling career.

5

"Fucking" ?

JimG Level 8 Mar 18, 2019
5

Hillbilly

4

Jesus Horus Christ. For fun look up Jesus vs Horus online.

4

That could have two meanings... referring either to hsi hanging from the cross, or referring to his the size of his genital endowment.

@snytiger6 I meant it in the second way. 😛

4

I was going to comment. However, after reading all the witty comments below, I'm not worthy. Well played, heathens.

4

The earliest use of the phrase is unknown, but in his autobiography, Mark Twain (1835–1910) observed that it was in general use even in his childhood. Twain refers to an episode from 1847, when he was working as a printer's apprentice; Smith (1994) tells the tale thus:

[Twain] recounts a practical joke a friend played on a revival preacher when Twain was an apprentice in a printing shop that Alexander Campbell, a famous evangelist then visiting Hannibal, hired to print a pamphlet of his sermon. While checking the galleys, Twain's fellow apprentice, Wales McCormick, found he had to make room for some dropped words, which he managed by shortening Jesus Christ on the same line to J. C. As soon as Campbell had read the proofs, he swept indignantly into the shop and commanded McCormick, "So long as you live, don't you ever diminish the Savior's name again. Put it all in." The puckish McCormick obeyed, and then some: he set Jesus H. Christ and printed up all the pamphlets.

Smith suggests (1994:331-2) that "Jesus H. Christ" is a specifically American profanity, and indicates that at least in his experience it is uttered primarily by men. Quinion (2009), a British author, likewise specifies the phrase as belonging to American English.

Also, the term "Christ" is not a name, it is a title (if it were a name does that mean his father was Joseph Christ or Mary Christ)? Correctly spoken it should be Jesus the Christ. Too bad something so simple eludes the Christians.

4

Ah... a fan of "Winnie Th ePooh"...

4

Hatheist

@PalacinkyPDX him or me? lol Hmm I've not had haggis for about two weeks!

4

Hazardous

3

Jesus HoldmybeerCarl Christ!?

3

Based on the people who claim to follow his teachings, I'd guess 'homophobic'.

3

Being a common name back then I would just assume that it's to differentiate between the other Jesus Christ's that happened to be in the same city it would help keep the letter carrier from being confused.

3

John was his "beloved" disciple, so maybe his full name was Jesus Homosexual Christ.

3

Obviously, the 'H" stands for "halitosis" because our Lord hanged around with fishermen and was known to bite a raw halibut or two -- just for the hell of it.

@PalacinkyPDX He was quite a cunning linquist.

2

I would venture "Himaginary"

I would vote for this as the very best middle name!!

2

Hworthless. The H is silent. But I know how he feels my middle name is H. too. I use Tom with a silent h or Hercules

lerlo Level 8 Mar 19, 2019
2

Hoobastank

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