Augh. That is soooooooo American Christian.
(Know what I always wonder? If their afterlife is so awesome, WhyTF do they want all of us there? A logical person would keep that shit as quiet as humanly possible, barely whispering about it to anyone, because it's so bloody special. I thought this even when I was a theist. So nonsensical.)
They will be having an easter egg hunt next weekend. They can't see my house from inside the church because they face one street (corner) and mine is actually behind them on the cross street, so I thought I might add a few eggs with a secular message to the hunt.
"I was over in Australia during easter, which was intersting. Interesting to note they celebrate Easter the same way we do; commemorating the death and resurrection of Jesus by telling our children a giant bunny rabbit left chocolate eggs in the night.
Now, I wonder why we're fucked up as a race, anybody? Anybody got any clues out there?
Where do you get this shit from you know? Why those two things you know? Why not ‘Goldfish left Lincoln Logs in your sock drawer’ you know? As long as we’re making shit up, go hog wild you know. At least a goldfish with a Lincoln Log on it's back goin' across your floor to your sock drawer has a miraculous conotation to it.
'Mummy, I woke today and there was a Lincoln Log in me sock drawer!'.
'That's the story of Jesus'.
Who comes up with this shit?! I’ve read the Bible. I can’t find the words ‘bunny’ or ‘chocolate’ anywhere in that fucking book".