Hello everyone. I met a Muslim girl on another dating site and I was wondering what exactly I should say to her.
She has a degree in conflict resolution and I think she is questioning her beliefs, or at least the practices of her belief, and is very liberal in contrast with religious fundamentalism. She sees her beliefs as a source for progress. If it wasn't that way I wouldn't even give her a chance.
Are there any good resources anyone knows about or advice to give me to navigate this situation?
Marrying a Muslim has certain risks and today it would be similar to when a Baptist married a Catholic several years ago. The main problem from your point of view would be that you both marry and get along and you feel that she is giving up some of her belief for yours. This probably is not happening. What if she felt the same way about you? This is where your basic ideas will clash.
If she wants to give up her faith, it’s her call. Don’t expect to change her. If she’s a groovy lady, why worry about it? I’ve met and dated some really great women from various faiths a time or two. (Even went to church once, but don’t tell anyone ) As of late, I’ve met a lot of Wiccans. I find these ladies fun, charming and witty...with no concerns of a mixed faith relationship.
Begin with the facts that a literate wise woman was first to marry the illiterate violent young Mohammed taught him to read and write his morphing quoran about Mosa and the alleged Jesua Nasoret....if your intellectual Islamist lady has burned her veils and wants to protect 6 million Muslim girls from having their clitoris and labia flesh mutilated by dirty knives....she can finish her journey by reading Ayaan Hirsi Ali great Atheist liberation autobiography
I can say from personal experience (Even though this was nearly 20 years ago) that no matter how her views change and how meaningful this relationship comes to be, eventually, you may have to deal with her relatives who are not open to ideas. This didn't stop me and shouldn't stop you, just be prepared for it.
If you wish to give her food for thought, point her to YouTube channels such as "Rationality Rules" as a good start for someone with a degree in conflict resolution as that implies she is more than capable of critical thinking.
When you are confident that she is capable of laughing at inconsistent theistic logic, try the "The Atheist Experience".
does she know you're not a believer? i am sure she knows you're not muslim lol but does she know beyond that? i'd introduce that sort of soon. meanwhile, whatever you do, don't judge her by the quran any more than you'd judge a reform jew by biblical stonings and such. don't push her but be there for her when she questions beliefs, and try not to make your responses specific to islam, which could be read as bigotry even if it's not (which, from your post, i think it would not be). and meanwhile, have fun getting to know each other!
Be honest. Be upfront. Trust in yourself. And if religion is an issue, be prepared to walk away. Keep your sanity and your core values. (not that many religious people don't have strong core values - just know changing for another or expecting change isn't healthy and seldom works)
Be yourself. She is, after all, in the end a girl like any other. deserving of the love and respect you would give any woman who comes into your life.
Just be aware that if you get involved with her romantically and are seen by her family or community as trying to "convert" her or dissuade her from her beliefs there will be difficulties for her. This is irrespective of whether she is the one making the move away from her religion or not. You will be seen as a catalyst and used against her by people that wish to "save face"
I lived in Malaysia for a year. Saw a couple of really troubling situations that did not end well for the young lady. My two cents. Good luck.
I am certainly not an expert (or even an experienced amateur) in the dating world, but wouldn't it be like any other situation where people have difference in their perspectives of the world? In which case, respect and honesty should be the key ingredients in any relationship.