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Does anyone else who's de-converted from religion struggle with logically knowing / accepting something in your head, but not "feeling" it or really grasping it?

I may sound pretty dumb saying this (please be kind), but I was raised believing that the world is ~8,000 years old. Now that I've gotten out of that brainwashing environment and read about evolution and natural selection, I no longer intellectually accept that viewpoint; but it doesn't "feel right" yet.

Is it just a matter of time?

OutreDragon 4 Apr 26
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4

Each person is different in his growth. It was a process for me, and I still have knee jerk reactions since I was in the church 60 or so years and out about 9. I was kicked out for reasons irrelevant to this discussion and it was a relief actually

3

Welcome,thanks and yes patience with
the deprogramming & ourselves is a ongoing
process. Looking back the first , and hardest
steps are the ones that mattered to my
relationships.Intuition pointed the way.
Your emotions are going to vary
as new facts about reality arise.

3

That's one of the best questions ever presented in the group's I follow and here is one of the worst answers to it considering the audience.

It's a matter of faith.

I have faith that @Glenlab knows a hellofalot more than me about what I'm standing on and @Lukian knows ahellofalot more than me about what I'm standing under.

I know what they are telling me are facts but I certainly don't comprehend everything they say but I'll have faith? trust? that if I reread the answers click the links read those stories I'll get a better grasp of what I don't yet intellectually know.

You would have to get doctorates in every subject to comprehend everything so we have to have faith? trust? In others to explain things we can grasp.

At least that's the way I can prevent myself from jumping off a cliff after realizing how stupid I am and really should have paid more attention and asked more questions in class.

There are good and decent people here and everywhere really that will be glad to explain to you any question you have so don't be to hard on yourself. Be patient.

I know it's frustrating but it's like that joke everybody gets but you but later when you're just about to fall asleep you "get it"

You can't get away from Faith with more Faith. Faith is believing a thing you know can't be true, and just accepting so shit you are told. Knowing through evidence and reason is the only antidote. @outredragon's problem is that she has simply gone from faith in one field to faith in another. That is disastrous. No one needs a PhD in Geography to figure out how good evolutionary theory, and scientific dating techniques, is to determine the age of the earth. All you need to do is look at some simple, easy to understand facts. Facts that just about anyone can grasp, as long as they put aside Faith.

wow! Thanks! I try my best. If one person thinks that way about what I have shared in this site then maybe I should question myself about leaving this site.

@Lukian

Me: singing terrible falsetto.

oh won't you stay
Just a little bit longer?
Please please just stay
A little bit more.

Lukian: that's it I'm outta here.

😝

3

I don't have this issue with regards to religion because I don't ever recall being so. But to me religion always reminded me of unhealthy relationships. The things a person goes through can stay with them long after it's over. I've seen some good ideas posted. Go to a museum (I know it sounds silly but if possible a children's museum may be a good place to start, the hands on approach can help to really connect with the information) counseling is also a helpful tool. Depending on where you live you could even go explore your local nature areas. Places like the grand canyon have a way of really smacking you in the face with just how long things have been moving and shaking. Speak with professionals in various scientific fields. Give it time.

Byrd Level 7 Apr 26, 2019
3

As long as it has evidence, and science, and is backed by the experts like Richard Dawkins or Dan Barker or any other of the experts I would accept it, give it time, read those books and videos by the experts, listen to other peoples advice also.

There are plenty of "experts" on both sides of the fence. You can't trust anyone, unless you take a look for yourself and compare the arguments and the evidence.

@chazwin Yes. I don't trust my own ability to decipher fact from fiction, yet.

3

I would recommend a really healthy dose of Alan Watts. And learn to meditate. Carl Sagan's a demon Haunted World was mentioned below, and I second that recommendation, too.

3

Yeah it’s hard to start thinking in terms of millions and billions of years; I don’t think many of us regardless of our upbringing conceptualize it quite right. Listen to geologists, astophysicists, any scientific material you find interesting and focus on opening your mind to the vastness of the universe. I still cosmologically feel a little boxed in by my religious upbringing after the myopic way they train you to see the world, but my default habitual constraints are stretching the more I exercise the knowledge.

3

Your no different from us who left religious bs behind. I had no trouble on accepting evolution over creation. What I have still have trouble with that there is nothing after death. I have accepted it for most part, but I still find it scary. Maybe in the years to come it will become easier.

2

I still struggle with the concept of deep time and evolution. I don't fully understand all aspects of evolution, but I know enough about the scientific process to trust it even when I cannot verify/understand every piece of info that goes into forming a theory. So, in a way, I have a similar faith in science as some have in a deity. The greatest difference being that science is based on testable, observable, and verifiable evidence, and it can be falsified. And THOSE are huge advantages when it comes to having faith in the personally unknown.

Faith based acceptance of evolution is just as bad as being religious.

@chazwin Did you actually read what I wrote about the MAJOR differences between the two? They're pretty critical distinctions which hardly makes the two the same. Unless, of course, one thinks elephants and an old tennis shoe are the same thing because they both are found on Earth.

2

I've had the other side of the experience. I've tried to hold on to the religious ideas, but it I "felt" or deep inside knew that they were empty. I tried very hard to believe in Christian God and wanted to have faith. But whenever I prayed, it felt like a dog-and-pony show, except the pony was missing and the dog was the only one barking (and in case it's not absolutely clear, that dog was me). I've eventually come to accept emotionally what my brain was telling me all along: the religion was man-made (and statistically speaking, this is largely true as most religions are patriarchal).

I still have some emotional connection to Catholicism. Can't quite completely cut it off, it seems.

2

Does it really matter how old the earth is? It doesn't matter to me... Just saying...

1

You'll get there... I was never as fully entrenched as you in young world theory but if I could make it anyone can.

1

Do try to be gentle on yourself as your awareness expands, for there is no shame in having been kept in an information vacuum for so many years. You're not the first to go through this growth process, and you're not alone as it continues. This video describes another person's awakening. I hope it might help.

Godot Level 7 May 1, 2019
1

Interesting. I would guess it's just a matter of time given the confirmation of earth's age and our evolution.

1

How, exactly, could the world being created in 4004 BC makes ANY sense? Did the trees in the Garden of Eden have growth rings?
Did God place all those fossils in the earth? And where are those dinosaurs?

1

I also like to post this as far as still acknowledging our shared humanity.

:-----:

People are =/= to their religion

I am most definitely an infidel in that I have no belief in any god or gods. A person’s individual godview is the most basic right possible that a human being can have. I personally reject Islam, Judaism, and Christianity (among others)… but do not reject Muslims, Jews, and Christians. A person’s religion and religious culture are most predictably based on their family of origin, where they were born (geography), and when they were born (i.e. no Xians pre-Christ).

I stand with all people on the planet willing to work together as a species to live peacefully with each other and our environment. That does not change regardless of the actions of some who think their ‘godview’ justifies any number of horrible acts.

I reject those who use such acts to demonize people who are damned for nothing more than ‘guilt by association.’

~ LanceThruster

1

The whole question is moot. Time is nothing but an illusion.

1

I don’t personally believe in the Christian or Islamic or the rest of the gods, I don’t necessarily believe in evolution either. For some reason we have this need to believe in something as far as creation . Maybe we just do this because we fear death ; the unknown. I am just enjoying life the best I can and depending on myself for happiness , not trying to look for what might be out there . It’s okay just to live and if something unfolds for you that’s okay to . Try not to worry it’s natural what you are going through.

Evolutionary Theory has nothing to do with belief.

1

I logically know and accept that I haven't been with Kourtney Kardashian.......yet, but I'm not feeling that or grasping it either. I would love to "feel" or "grasp" it.

I'm going to go take a cold shower.

1

Yup

bobwjr Level 10 Apr 26, 2019
1

Remember than when Alan speaks of God he's speaking metaphorically.

1

That's a good example of how feelings are deceiving.

1

I have never had that problem, but then I was not de converted either. I was never a believer from the Git Go.

alon Level 6 Apr 26, 2019
1

I have some good news and some bad news.

The bad news is that the human brain stops developing around the age of 25, so any abilities or skills you develop before that point are essentially locked in. This means that the ability to think about things rationally over just having gut feelings may be something intrinsic to who you are, because you were raised that way.

The good news is that neural plasticity, or the brains ability to change it's shape to optimize thought for efficiency never goes away meaning that it is possible to learn new skills, but it will take more time the older you get because no new neurons are born the way they are with other cells in your body. Any brain cells that die are not replaced, rather your brain rewires itself to restore old connections.

It's probably not exactly what you want to hear, but it is the truth. What is important is to make sure that you minimize the number of people exposed to what you had to go through, so as to maximize the number of people who are raised to think from reason, for the betterment of mankind.

@MissKathleen Exactly! I'm just explaining it from a materialist perspective, treating the brain as the physical thing that it is. Learning doesn't stop, because your brain can always change shape to accommodate new skills and knowledge. It does however, stop growing new neurons at some point.

0

If it hasn't already been mentioned you might seek out a Video by Julia Sweeney called "Letting Go of God". She does a very shortened version as a TED talk. The full length version is a little hard to find. Maybe your local library has it. There is an audio only version also which is pretty much the same thing. The video is just her doing the one woman show on stage. [amazon.com]

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