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How do you respond when somebody you have never met in person and only exchanged a sentence or two with online suddenly tells you they are "honest?"

Deb57 8 July 1
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91 comments (51 - 75)

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3

Any time I hear someone telling me, or anyone else, how honest they are, a line from Hamlet comes to mind:
"The lady doth protest too much, methinks."

1

I'd say, "Great! I think most people ARE honest, don't you?" And get into a long, deep discussion about honesty.

3

It sets off alarms for me. I ask myself, 'why would a total stranger feel the need to convince me of their integrity?' Only if they plan to lie. The phrase, "You can trust me." has the same effect.

JimG Level 8 July 1, 2019
4

For starters...I have never thought a person needs to profess his honesty...we need evidence for truth, at least I know I do!

1

Need more info:
What is the context?
What is the interaction?
Honest about what?

3

I trust them about as far as I can throw them.

2

I always assume someone is honest until they prove me wrong. When someone tells me they are honest l am suspicious. Why would you assume l would think you are not.

3

Honesty is something that needs to be demonstrated over time. Not simply asserted.

3

That's a huge red flag! I have had the same experience, in business, when people found it important to announce, shortly after we met, "I are a Christian". Then when something new comes up the they "have to pray on it". That only happened a few times and each time the "Christian" pretty blatantly attempted to rip me off or proved themselves to be degenerates.

OCJoe Level 6 July 1, 2019
3

I say, "OK" then I either go about my business like normal, continue whatever conversation we are having, or let them explain why they are honest then I change the subject to something more interesting.

True honesty is demonstrated, not told.

1

That person is the Judge, jury and the accused...

3

Sounds fishy to me. Next they’ll be asking for money.

UUNJ Level 8 July 1, 2019
2

Best be careful.

1

"Believe me, many people say I'm honest...very stable and honest!"

2

I tell them that eventually I will know rather or not that is true.

3

Honest and intelligent people have no reason to state such things about themselves.

1

I would evaluate their need to tell you such. Why do they feel it important to convince you of that? But yea, Red Flag, honestly 🙂

0

They are dishonest. Claiming of honesty is dishonesty. (আপনারে ভালো বলে ভালো সেই নয় ৷ লোকে যারে ভালো বলে ভালো সেই হয় ৷) (AAPONARAE BHAALO BOLAE BHAALO SEI NOY . LOKAE JAARAE BHAALO BAOLE BHAALO SEI HOY)This is a bengali proverb which means if says he is honest , then heor she is not honest . Whom the people says honest then he or she would be the honest.

1

It depends what they say in that one sentence.

4

he's gaslighting or soon will be

4

Never ....that's a red flag right off the bat. RUN!

3

Agreed, anyone you don't know that has to "prefix" a statement to manipulate you into their frame of reference.... worst yet are those that use gaslighting tactics to put you on the defensive or invoke a emotional response to a clearly deceptive premise.

One should stand by what they say and more importantly what they due.

Kuato:
You are what you do. A man is defined by his actions, not his memory.

2

I will ask: what do you mean being honest? Maybe this person will answer but keep asking questions until this person gets tired. "Scammers"

1

Do not believe them! Truly honest people never give it a thought...have You ever said that to anybody?

2

Sure now! And I'm the Pope in Rome!

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