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Why is it we all try so hard when we are looking for a relationship with the opposite sex, we try to maintain our looks our weigh, our style, but after we catch them and we settle down, why do you think that people let themselves go. I have heard both sides say, wow, he/she wasnt that way when we 1st got married. Am i being too unrealistic to think i married a woman that was a size 8 and now she is a size 18 (just an example please don't get all over me for that. What our your thought, would love to hear from both sidess mens prospective as well as womens.

TonyCarl1 6 July 7
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15 comments

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3

I consider your size, my size, innocent bystanders' size None of Your Business, or mine. I fall in love with the Person, not the cloak enveloping them. You should try it!

0

You have a point although I would say it is not limited to appearance.

People become complacent or worse yet, stop trying altogether to be pleasing once they've caught their person.

For example, none of my ex's got much bigger after we got together but they certainly stopped being charming once we were firmly together.

Perhaps you have gotten with women that let themselves go physically rather than socially.

2

Some people take on unhealthy life habits when they are unhappy.

0

Have someone to share life up and down love someone to hold take care of each other get old together ❤

bobwjr Level 10 July 8, 2019
5

Said by an Italian comedian :
Single women are almost always thinner than married women .
Bcz single women return home from work , take a look of what's in the refrigerator and they go to bed .
Married women return home from work , they take a look of what's in bed , and they open the refrigerator 😂✌🏻

1

I don't look for relationships...they find me...

1

Good question.. I remember the older guys referring to various wives as ‘hide-a-hog’s.’ Sex is a workout … until the ‘enjoyment of food’ apparently takes its place. I was more careful than my wife, and a lot more physical. Called her ‘Pee Wee’ in the beginning … 30 years & two kids later ..I’ve seen worse, but never called her that again..

We’d joke about a neighbor woman who went through 3 husbands on our watch. “Notice how good she’s looking?” “She’s on the hunt!” One marriage later ..and it took her largest horse to haul her ass around their farm...

Then there’s the bloated guys, looking like they’ve swallowed a watermelon whole … waddling around with goatees and long-shorts. A stomach W/ legs, ghastly.. So it breaks both ways.

I want to live, do all the shit I’ve always done.. And if I find a mate, will expect the same ~

Varn Level 8 July 7, 2019
3

It’s important to maintain once you settle down with a partner. A wise partner knows that continuing to implement good lifestyle choices keeps the flame lit.

There are elements, such as aging, which are beyond control. However, a healthy diet and active lifestyle are controllable at any age.

2

You are being unrealistic, because there are a lot of reasons why people change over time. I bet you don’t look the same as you did 20 years ago.

Wanna bet 😉

I don't look the same, but my physique is the same

0

With the comfort of a relationship comes the attitude of assumptions of tolerance.

It's also called "complacency".

We assume that we're loved "just the way we are" so we get careless with our diet and exercise routines.

Couple that with the abundance of junk foods available, the ads that favor consumption, and we have an obesity epidemic on our hands.

Further couple that with...as we age our metabolism slows down. our desire for the fitness "high" wanes...and thus we "let ourselves go".

[slate.com]

1

Desire to share life and love with someone

bobwjr Level 10 July 7, 2019
0

I am not vain, but i eat healthy and exercise, I love my wife even when she went from a size 8 to a size 18, all i said to her if your happy I love you, if you want to lose weight i will help you, so after 52 years of marriage she is still a size 10, I am just saying after the thrill of the catch, some people get too comfortable and figure hell i am married why do I have to keep up my appearance, I got my man/woman.

Its possible because i don't drink alcohol or smoke r do drugs, and i eat sensibly, exercise, and I drink only water, I meditate and my life is full of love, because i love helping people become more aware. I realize that all of our metabolisms are different, but i bet if anyone was out there trying to find a mate, I bet they would do their damnedest to look good and keep in shape. I am not perfect, but I do believe in staying healthy.Oh and in 1997 i was given 1 year to live because of Cancer, and I beat the odds, because the doctors told me it was my life style.

0

I am somewhat vain and refuse to "let myself" let myself go. Right or wrong. good or bad, it is who I am. I am always attracted to women who also care about the way they look.

@Allamanda It is totally subjective. People are attracted to who they are attracted to for whatever reasons. Since human beings come in so many shapes, sizes, and personalities, it seems to me that is a good thing. Some women aren't attracted to me because I am bald, some because I am thin or don't have enough money. It doesn't bother me in the least. To each their own. It will NEVER change and I believe that is exactly the way it should be. 🙂

@Allamanda I have no double standard. I am attracted to who I am attracted to and can't change that. I don't wake up and say, "I'm going to start finding only blondes attractive or someone with big boobs. I have never been attracted to a particular type of woman as far as shape or hair color or length. It has always been about the combination of intelligence, style, humor, and physical attraction. The physical attraction has been very fluid, but the rest not so much.

@Allamanda The one thing I do know is men and women are wired very differently when it comes to this particular part of our biology and that ain't changing unless or until we evolve into something very different. The people I know, both men and women, who accept this do much better dealing with each other than those who don't.

1

Hormones...from having babies and going through menopause...genetics...habit...social pressure...laziness...aging...loss of attention...denial...

I don't think there is one thing and I don't think it happens overnight...part of it is being comfortable in a relationship and all that comes with it...social events that usually have food and drink...kids parties with cake...too tired to exercise...not getting help with household chores...boredom...

Love...hubby wants to do something to show you he is thinking of you...buys ice cream...takes you to an expensive restaurant...lots of love is associated with eating food!

Not speaking up...getting slammed when you do...I am guilty of that...if he mentions my weight, I go ballistic...it took a while to listen to what he had to say and for me to say what I had to say...pay attention and treat me like you did before we were married for so long and get rid of your own beer belly...there...that's why...

edited to add: it does not happen to everyone and does not have to happen...I have seen some of the best bodies on couples that have been together way longer than you have...lots of reasons, that's all...

2

because we get old.

Im 78 and i still have the same physique as i did when i was 30, i try to maintain my self pride, and never get too comfortable

@TonyCarl1 I guess that just makes you a superior human being compared to the majority of us then tony. grats to you.

@TonyCarl1, @Athena it happens when you are exactly 51 years old.

@Athena it was a joke athena. geez.

@Athena you couldnt figure out I was being facetious when I said "exactly 51"? uhm ... ok.

@Athena sure you were athena.

@Athena it's all good. there's no anger here. isavasyam idam sarvam.

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